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  #31 (permalink)  
Old Fri Feb 27, 2009, 12:54pm
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Originally Posted by jearef View Post
I swear, I was so angry that if the guy had been standing in front of me, I might have punched him. I wish I could control myself better in those situations.

One day, fans are going to realize that they are going to destroy the game. .
Sounds like you need to work on some anger issues. And if you had punched that grandpa, it wouldn't be the fans who destroyed that game...
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  #32 (permalink)  
Old Fri Feb 27, 2009, 03:48pm
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Originally Posted by Juulie Downs View Post
Sounds like you need to work on some anger issues. And if you had punched that grandpa, it wouldn't be the fans who destroyed that game...
C'mon, Juulie. With all due respect, if you're looking for a reason to chastize, at least read ALL of the posts I put up about the issue. Particularly the one that says "it would absolutely have been the wrong thing to do", "it would have ruined my career", etc. I recognize that initiating a physical confrontation with a fan is never acceptable; I was simply trying to convey the extreme level of anger I was feeling at the moment. Anger control is not the absence of anger; anger control is the ability to recognize the emotion and resist the urge to act upon it. Under the circumstances that presented themselves last night, I was able to do that.

If you can go out on the floor, work your rear end off in two consecutive games (the first of which you worked alone), see a fine young man hurt and then listen to a fan screaming that it is your fault without getting angry, you're a far better person than I. Perhaps you are able to do just that, and if so, you are to be commended. I can always take whatever abuse the fans dish out about my eyesight, my family tree, my overall ability, etc. We all have our "hot buttons", and the fellow last night found mine. I'm glad the confrontation was limited to a verbal exchange.
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  #33 (permalink)  
Old Fri Feb 27, 2009, 03:51pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Juulie Downs View Post
Sounds like you need to work on some anger issues. And if you had punched that grandpa, it wouldn't be the fans who destroyed that game...
Sounds like grandpa needs to work on "shutting his freaking trap" issues, to me.
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  #34 (permalink)  
Old Fri Feb 27, 2009, 09:54pm
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Originally Posted by fullor30 View Post
Whats sad about that?

The other spectators had a laugh...
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  #35 (permalink)  
Old Fri Feb 27, 2009, 11:53pm
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Originally Posted by fullor30 View Post
Just me, I can't believe your partners didn't jump in.
I agree. They should be fit enough to do two three man games.

Rita
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  #36 (permalink)  
Old Sat Feb 28, 2009, 04:59am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jearef View Post
C'mon, Juulie. With all due respect, if you're looking for a reason to chastize, at least read ALL of the posts I put up about the issue. Particularly the one that says "it would absolutely have been the wrong thing to do", "it would have ruined my career", etc. I recognize that initiating a physical confrontation with a fan is never acceptable; I was simply trying to convey the extreme level of anger I was feeling at the moment. Anger control is not the absence of anger; anger control is the ability to recognize the emotion and resist the urge to act upon it. Under the circumstances that presented themselves last night, I was able to do that.

If you can go out on the floor, work your rear end off in two consecutive games (the first of which you worked alone), see a fine young man hurt and then listen to a fan screaming that it is your fault without getting angry, you're a far better person than I. Perhaps you are able to do just that, and if so, you are to be commended. I can always take whatever abuse the fans dish out about my eyesight, my family tree, my overall ability, etc. We all have our "hot buttons", and the fellow last night found mine. I'm glad the confrontation was limited to a verbal exchange.
I was responding to this sentence from your post, "I was so angry that if the guy had been standing in front of me, I might have punched him. I wish I could control myself better in those situations." I would have been exceedingly angry too, and I'm not saying that the anger is wrong. It's natural. But even you were worried about how you might handle that anger, and that's what you CAN and SHOULD work on. Do it NOW before you regret your response. And in fairness to you, I'll agree with Rich, that "grandpa" also needs to work on his anger issues too, he didn't vent his anger well at all!
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  #37 (permalink)  
Old Sat Feb 28, 2009, 08:17am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Juulie Downs View Post
I was responding to this sentence from your post, "I was so angry that if the guy had been standing in front of me, I might have punched him. I wish I could control myself better in those situations." I would have been exceedingly angry too, and I'm not saying that the anger is wrong. It's natural. But even you were worried about how you might handle that anger, and that's what you CAN and SHOULD work on. Do it NOW before you regret your response. And in fairness to you, I'll agree with Rich, that "grandpa" also needs to work on his anger issues too, he didn't vent his anger well at all!
I understand the point you were trying to make. Twenty-three years in, and I still haven't had a physical altercation with a fan. I've been tempted on few occasions, but I've always been able to resist the primal urge. We all work SO hard at doing what we do: study, training, camps, scrimmages, time away from our children and our spouses, etc. Then to have some dope in the stands scream at us . . . . I know it comes with the territory, and we all knew that coming in. Like I said in the first post, one day, those folks will realize they are ruining the game for the kids. I just hope it isn't too late when they do come to that realization.
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  #38 (permalink)  
Old Sat Feb 28, 2009, 09:13am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chartrusepengui View Post
I had a fan that I saw at several different locations - different teams. He told me coming off the court once that he didn't know "nothin" about basketball but he knew I really sucked. I smiled and said thanks. Next season he's back but as we're going off the court at end of game he asks why I made a particular call. I took the time to explain and he thanked me and held up 3 fingers. Said that's how many I "owed" him. From that night on - I'd walk into a gym and if was there he'd hold up 2 or 3 fingers even before game started. Got along great after that - he was quite a comedian.
At least he didn't tell you to read between the lines.
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  #39 (permalink)  
Old Sat Feb 28, 2009, 09:19am
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Originally Posted by grunewar View Post
Jearef - you woulda punched a grandpa? Yikes!

PS - kudos for stepping up and working the JV game alone!
I am 52 and have been a grandpa for a few years.

And if the partners couldn't do 2 3 man games, maybe it is time to really lighten up the schedule.
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Last edited by 26 Year Gap; Sat Feb 28, 2009 at 09:22am.
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  #40 (permalink)  
Old Sat Feb 28, 2009, 09:48am
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Originally Posted by Rita C View Post
I agree. They should be fit enough to do two three man games.

Rita
Really. If I was the athletic director, I would be placing a few calls.

I got a phone call last season from an AD who was short one official for the 6PM JV game before my varsity game. In WI, you CANNOT start any level with one official, so there were two choices -- find an official or cancel the game. I went and worked the double, JV/V boys, 2-person in both games. Only subvarsity I've worked in 4 years, but it never even occurred to me to turn it down.
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  #41 (permalink)  
Old Sat Feb 28, 2009, 02:31pm
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Originally Posted by RichMSN View Post
Really. If I was the athletic director, I would be placing a few calls.

I got a phone call last season from an AD who was short one official for the 6PM JV game before my varsity game. In WI, you CANNOT start any level with one official, so there were two choices -- find an official or cancel the game. I went and worked the double, JV/V boys, 2-person in both games. Only subvarsity I've worked in 4 years, but it never even occurred to me to turn it down.
Had this happen once this year. A couple days before heading to a small town nearby to work a boys/girls V double, the AD calls one of my partners (the one who scheduled the games) and asked if we didn't mind coming down earlier to work the girls JV game in addition to the two we already had. We said sure, no problem. Come to find out, the two officials doing the junior high girls game had only the type of certification that allowed them to work JH games, but not JV games. The AD did ask a couple of guys from another town close to us (same driving distance) to come down and do the JV game (they have the same certifications we had for JH all the way to V), but they didn't want to make the drive for the money they were going to get for it. Really, it was the same amount we get here in the metro area for some of the subvarsity stuff anyway, and it wasn't that long of a drive!

Also had one sitch where the assignor called me an hour before the tipoff time, and asked if I had my bag with me. Lo and behold, I did. The game was about a 30 minute drive, so he told me to get there as quickly as I could, and he called the AD to let him know I was on the way. I was actually on the court in time for the 15 minute jurisdiction time. The AD was too impressed, and said he was going to call the assignor and make sure I got some more games at the school.
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  #42 (permalink)  
Old Sat Feb 28, 2009, 04:43pm
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Overheard this exchange between two players

After a brief altercation between two players (nothing serious, just needed a "go to your corner" talk), the boys quietly exchange these words as they move down court. Player A: "Yeah? Well f*** you." Player B: "It wouldn't be any fun, I'd just lay there." I looked at player A for his reply and all he could do was smile.
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  #43 (permalink)  
Old Sat Feb 28, 2009, 06:07pm
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I assume that player B's response was better than a T in that situation.
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  #44 (permalink)  
Old Sat Feb 28, 2009, 06:14pm
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It was such a great response that I couldn't bring myself to spoil the moment. Player A got his, I just wish others could have heard it!
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Old Sat Feb 28, 2009, 06:26pm
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Originally Posted by lmeadski View Post
It was such a great response that I couldn't bring myself to spoil the moment. Player A got his, I just wish others could have heard it!
I wonder how many of us would have exhaled and caused an inadvertent whistle as we laughed.
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