players talking to ref's at the end of time outs
 

With all of the important issues on this fourm, this is a trivial one, but since I am a newer guy (in skill level not age), I want your feedback.

JV or freshman high school ball. Every so often on an out of bounds play, mostly after time outs, when i am standing with the player to inbounds he will say " so, how it going ref or how are you doing today ref". I am concentrating on the job at hand and usually say something like"just fine". this usually happens during the time we are waiting for the other team to get back on the floor. I am trying to decide if the players are being sarcastic or just trying to be friendly. AND, should i even talk to them

what is the consensus on what the experienced guys do. Do you talk to them or just do what i do???????

I know it is a trivial thing....patronize me

My standard reply to this type of inquiry from a player or coach - "I'm cranky". That usually ends it.

Treat them as you would like to be treated.
Treat players with respect -- without them there is no game.
Be approachable. Be human.

Some of these kids are in the future crop of officials, too.
Let them know you enjoy what you are doing.

If there is time, answer their questions. You'll know when they are sarcastic.

Similar to dealing with coaches you have to do whatever is comfortable to you...I was always taught that in an ideal world we like to have players "on our side", (so the next time you have a problem with #42 white, you have established a repoire with #50 white and can say "take care of your teammate") so there is nothing wrong with engaging in a brief friendly exchange with a player...you don't want to be a clown, but being friendly or cracking a joke with a player is perfectly acceptable if it is part of your routine/comfort zone...my two cents and what has worked for me..

If the kid engages you, then just say hi back and even ask them a quick question if you have time and is appropriate. Show you are a human being and that you are more than your uniform. I have kids that I see almost every year and I have shaken their hands before games like they were old friends. Now when I work their games they are people I can have on my side and stop other crap. You have to remember these are kids, they are looking for adults to treat them with a little bit of understanding. Saying hi is not going to take you away from doing your job.

Peace

Just act normal. Just cuz you are wearing stripes and a basketball ref doesn't mean your humanity stops when you step on the court and the rulebook is your only bible you go by.

Interesting. My experience is the exact opposite. Anytime I try to engage a player during those exact same dead times with a "boy it's hot in here" or a "really good game we got going" they usually just ignore you or stare at you like you have tentacles growing out of your head.

Sometimes, during those times when there’s few seconds available I might ask a player if he/she is having fun or something like that (of course not if their getting creamed). They normally response with an enthusiastic “Yes”.
Lighten up. There’s plenty of other times to be “all business”.

Definitely engage. We are adults and surely ( I know, quit calling me Shirley) we can engage in normal conversation with a teen player without them baiting us into a situation. Don't fret it and have a little fun.

Talk to the player the way you would talk to anyone else. There isn't anything that says we have to talk or act a certain way that isn't natural. I would advise the same thing for coaches. There will probably come a time when a coach/player does something to halt normal conversation. When that time comes, it will be an obvious time to not talk.

I once had a player approach me very politely, hand out in a questioning manner, and he politely asked me if he could ask me a question. I said, "Sure." He then very politely asked me if I could try and be in the correct position the next time I made a call....I immediately showed him the correct position for a T....Whack!

There's a huge difference here. The OP is not initiating coversation, he's responding to it. I usually don't make a point of talking to players outside of necessary game chatter, but if they initiate it and it's appropriate, I'm all for friendly banter.

A partner and I actually had an observer tell us this year to be a little more friendly during games and not to look so serious and to look like we're having fun. I try to engage players like the OP was talking about at the end of timeouts while we're waiting for the other team. The funny thing is that girls are usually more willing to talk to you, and boys look at you like you're an alien a lot of the time.

That's cuz you ain't jiving with the kids, word? :cool:

What is funny is that I have observed the same thing in Basketball but in Soccer the Boys will talk and banter but the Girls are serious and non talkative.