dealing with coaches
 

I'm a second year official that is doing mid school and high school JV games.I am interested in hearing how the experienced guys handle the high school coaches, when they complain.

some people I work with say to never talk to coach and some say you need to talk but not discuss plays. Others..well they think you just T them up if they jabber too much.

what do all of you say????

First of all, welcome to the forum...We have a few threads already on this. Here is one of them:

Communications with Coaches

I believe the first and foremost way to deal with coaches is not to wait until something bad happens. Introduce yourself before the game and build a little bit of creditability before the game even starts. Be professional, respectful, and personable. Using proper mechanics goes a long way with building confidence with the coach. There are many examples in that thread that will be very helpful (ie post #8). Once again, welcome

-Josh

You need to do what fits your personality and the situation. There's no one answer.

This is true. What works with one coach may not work with another. You have to try some things out and see what happens. Make some mental notes and use things that work better.

Ignoring coaches is rarely the best answer.

General rule: Answer questions and ignore commentary. This "rule" only works about 90% of the time, though.

Solid advice, answer their questions - susinctly stick to the rule, stick to what you saw - do not wing it, you will eventually say something wrong and you will pay for it.

Do not get in a running conversation with a coach, the less said the less trouble you can get yourself into. Innocent remarks can be taken out of context and then you have a problem.

Do not innitiate conversations with Coaches, believe me if they want to hear from you, they will let you know.
Work on your posture so that you apear open and receptive when you are talking to them. (example - having your arms crossed in front of you give a closed off impression as though you are not listening or willing to take in information).

RELAX!

One thing I'm trying very hard NOT do this year is get defensive when a coach complains. I'll listen, and tell them what I saw. At some point, it may come down to "Coach, on this one, we may have to agree to disagree."

I find some of the "canned" phrases work very well: "Coach, I'm looking for that at both ends" "Coach, I think I had a pretty good angle on that call." "Coach, you may be right. I'll work harder to get a better look at it next time."

I find a lot of times they just want to vent, and if you can keep your cool, it prevents the discussion from escalating.

But you have to tailor it to your disposition. It has taken me a long time to NOT get defensive, and feel comfortable communicating with coaches.

But I have found "don't ignore them" is very good advice.

My first game of the season, I'm T with the visitor's HC in my pocket, first half. Home's pg is in the midst of a crowd and "probably" double dribbles. I didn't have a clear view due to the crowd.

Coach: "She double dribbled. That was a...."
Me: "I missed it."
Coach, smiling: "Okay."

It helped he was winning handily.

I like this. Lets the coach know that you have no illusions of your own infallibility. I have a sign language version of the same thing. A nod. Pat myself on the chest. A slight shrug. Translation: My bad, maybe.

Emotions
 

Remember that they have an emotional interest in the outcome!

I think that there are several things that work for me.

First one that always helps is:

"Tell me what you saw coach." Listen, then reply with the truth. My normal reply is "... coach I believe that I was in position to make the call and from my angle it did not look like that. I would love to see the video of game, would you please send after the game." Be very succinct and brief but do not appear to walk away from coach. This normally works best after a foul call and you are table side. That is why we go table side in three mechanics.

Second on that sometimes can break the ice"

"Coach I am not sure that I heard a question in there, could you rephrase that a little." I normally use this when I know the coach a little bit better.

Third that you can use once in a blue moon

"Coach I absolutely booted that call. That one is on me."

Fourth one is

"Coach I was in position and I saw the whole play."

Fifth one is

"Coach when you calm down and state a question, I will listen but until then you will have to yell some one else."

Sixth one is

talk to one of the assistants and tell them to rein the head coach in

Do you also have sign language for them when they complain and you are100% correct you got the call/ no call correct??? :D

I agree with OHBB, being able to succinctly use rule terminology and do it in a confident manner. Had a coach wanting a 3-second violation after a shot bounced off the rim and both teams were going for the ball near the side line away from both of us. "Coach there's no team control on a shot and until a member of his team gets control, there is no 3-second count." What else could he say?

Some coaches will take the explanation and the ones that don't and want to keep complaining start to fall on deaf ears. Know your rules and explain them with confidence.

And some coaches "accept" the explanation because they don't know what you just said. The year the team control rule went into effect, we had a foul by the offense during a throw-in.

Me: Blue, 14, push, one and one.

Coach: (sarcastically) So you're gonna shoot on the offensive foul?

Me: Coach, there is no team control during a throw-in.

His mouth opened..........and not another word came out. My idea at the time was that the phrase team control was foreign to him.

I picked up a pointer several years back that, on posture -- I always try to stand beside a coach when we're talking -- shoulder to shoulder. This keeps the coach from "getting in your face" (and you as well) and is a less confrontational posture -- also helps you keep your eyes on the floor.

Yes, it's a very simple gesture involving only one finger - and you can use either hand. In fact, doing it with both hands adds to the meaning. :cool:

If you can really put yourself in their shoes, and figure out how you would like to be addressed if you were that coach, you'll usually come out successful. That allows you to determine if he really should have a longer leash in a situation or not. A lot of people have a hard time with that for myriad reasons, but real life imitates officiating life in these instance. Empathy is a great skill at all times.

Also another factor is your physicality as an official. The size, race, body type and gender can all play a role in how you are treated and how they react to you as an official. This is not something often talked about, but there is an underlining factor depending on who you are dealing with.

The bottom line we are in the people business and people react to different people for all kinds of different reasons. And what works for me might not work for you based on experience or reputation. The more you are seen the more coaches will respect you or show a lack of respect based on what you have done. This is why working games and getting experience is should really be your focus and you will learn how to talk to coaches better as time goes on.

Peace

Oh, I get it, a jump ball! ;)

I was thinking it was the 1 and 1 signal. Hmmm

I agree that there is something to your physical presence. Being a taller official it gives me some immediate credibility b/c the coaches assume I played. (Of course in HS it helps that I am married to an area coach!)

Also, let your personality come through. Know what you are comfortable with and go with it.

Close but not quite... You are on the right track so keep thinking...

Mark, I have never given consideration to the increased impact of the "dual" signal but I think you are on to something. I have always thought it important to be able to officiate amphibiously (you know, use either hand) for mechanics for a smooth, polished look and don't generally use both hands for the same mechanic (outside of a jump ball of course). I might have to work this into my game :D

Disclaimer: Before anyone goes off the deep end... all of my comments here are tongue in cheek and I would never be "unproffessional" on the court

This is all true to a certain extent. I am working two coaches tonight I've seen at least a half-dozen times each. I know the personalities and I know what to expect. I know that I've never had problems with either coach whereas others have. That means nothing -- tonight could be my night. I do know a close friend whacked the one coach Saturday for telling him to clean his glasses on an OOB call. And those two (coach/official) have a professional relationship and know each other quite well.

What's equally important, IMO, is how you come across to the coaches. I see newer officials rush to the table, avoid eye contact, and look nervous or scared when a coach talks to them. You should be able to look a coach in the eye and have a civilized conversation with them, even when he/she disagrees with you. It's when you ignore them or when you avert their eye contact or can't put an intelligent sentence together that they become sharks with you being food in the water.

That said, varsity coaches are, on a whole, more experienced and know how to deal with officials better. I filled in at the last minute in a JV game last season and I had to TCB early with two coaches that were used to running all over the officials. By the end of the game, we were all "buddies."

I know that being amphibious you probably do better than an official that has only gills. Unless we're in the Water Polo forum (do the horses wear breathing apparatuses?).

Any phrase in the rule book is foreign to a coach. :cool:

after reading all the posts, I think I can now sum up everyones thoughts in 4 words

BE
OPEN
FIRM
HONEST
FRIENDLY

anything else to add???

I'm sure there's something I could add. . . What is it I'm looking for. . .?

Mr. Annoying Math Guy. (4 words.)

Mr Annoying Binary Guy (100 words)

I think rules meetings are required in Michigan for coaches...not that it helps with people skills, but.......

I've been to rules meetings with coaches; it's like study hall. :)

Why are you looking for something to call?


Why are you not working hard all the time?

These are just some ways in which coaches can turn these statements around on you. If you decide to use them, I would say 'watch' instead of 'look' and I would just tell the coach that the angle closed on me, cause that better happen more than you not actually working hard to get the angle. I always work hard to get the angle, but sometimes from your position you just can't get the angle.

I would also read the article about NBA refs and coaches. That could tell you alot about how coaches approach situations w/ refs and how they expect refs to act, keeping in mind that at the HS level some coaches don't know any better than to act a fool and putting them in their place might settle them down... eventually. Most don't know how to get a "calculated technical". They are always surprised when they get them.

Good luck to you.

Pretty easy one tonight, but I do have one moment I'd like back. Home coach made a comment about a three second violation and I responded to the comment. In this case, responding with silence would've been better and I know better than that cause it just caused him to make another comment, "aw, c'mon, don't just make it up."

I thought, "I deserved that," and about then the ball was going in the other direction.

I think that was a minute into the game and I didn't hear another word all night.

Oh, both my partners called a 3-second violation, but, whew, my streak is still alive. :D

That's right! :D

7th grade boys travel over the weekend. Tight game with lots of fouls. Second half opens with 3 consecutive fouls against Team A. Coach A calls time out and starts with "forget about the refs", which to that point was OK, then I hear him say "they don't want you to win", which is a different matter entirely.

Time out ends and the kids come back onto the court and I head over to Team A coach and say, "Coach please don't tell the kids that we don't want them to win- we don't care who wins and you know that. I don't want the kids to buy into that kind of nonsense". Coach says OK, but you just called all the fouls on us. I said "Coach you're right, we did just call three in a row on your team, but they weren't cheap ones, they were good calls."

Team A winds up losing by a couple but his comments didn't come up again...
Kept control of a game that easily could have gotten way out of hand.

Miller time!

Z

Comments I can Neither confirm nor deny making:

Coach "You can't call that"
Anon Ref "Yes I can. I just did"

Coach "Are you gonna get them out of the lane?"
Anon Ref "I am going to give their bigs as much time in the paint as I give yours"

Coach "I felt that was a push off"
Anon Ref "Coach, I can validate your feelings that it was a push off. However, you player slid into them"
Coach "I have never had my feelings validated by a ref"

Coach " That was a GD MF jig. The player did a jig and then YOU call a foul on my player?"
Anon Ref "Coach, 2 things. 1. They werent doing a jig so much as they were doing the Mambo and 2. I guarantee had your player not fouled the player was going to commit a travel violation
Next game
Coach "So Mr Ref. are we going to be doing the Mambo tonite?"
Anon Ref "Sorry coach, but there are Tango lessons next door if you are interested!"

Coach "That is not right. You kicked the rule. My husband is a referee, I know the rule"
Anon Ref "Coach I know EXACTLY who your husband is and you can go home, tell him the play and he will tell you I am right. All in a loving manner I am sure!"

As I said, I can neither confirm nor deny who make those commentsv:cool:

7th grade game? This is a T in my game.

yeah, I considered whacking the coach there, but decided to try to talk to him first. I thought a T might have turned the whole game ugly.

Next time, you betcha.

Fair enough.

I'm jumping in late, as usual around here, but great discussion. Communication with coaches is an ongoing learning process. Last week we had a student section come on the floor in a very tight game. The clock did say 0, but we had a time out and were putting 1.9 back up. The visiting coach argued with me that I had to assess the T. My answer to him was, "If the same thing happened on your floor, with your student section, would you want us to call it then?" This ended the conversation and I was satisfyied with it. On the way home I was replaying the situation and a better answer would have been, "The clock said 0, the students thought the game was over." My point is that communication is a learning process.

Take suggestions from here. Try them out in games. See what works for you. On thing I'm working hard on these days is to keep my answers to the rules and use the "language" of the rules book. I rode along with a D1 women's crew last Sunday and what impressed me most about their pregame was that everything discussed was talked about in the specific language used in the rules book. I like this because I think over time it would train me to use the language of the rules during the game as well. My project this week is to rewrite my pregame list and make sure it is rules specific. Learning to officiate well is a journey.....

By Rule ...
 

If you choose to talk to the head coach, start off every sentence with, "Coach, by rule ..."

Also, there are coaches that have never read a rule book, and think that there are hundreds of rules, not just ten, so when questioned about a call, you may be able to get away with, "Coach, that was an easy call. Rule four". He'll be impressed that you've been able to memorize hundreds of rules by number, which may shut him up. Seriously, this has worked for me, but only with ignorant coaches, which are the worst kind.

DANG!!! maybe the best post i have ever read... ever! That is great stuff.