Some help. AUU tourney situation
 

Today I was working an AAU Tourney, which I barley do. I was doing it as a favor for the once " friend" that was assigning. I was scheduled to work 3 games and only worked one, before being pulled off the last 2. Here is what happened:

On Saturday, my partner who I worked with again today where working the game which the host AAU team was playing. They had this one no.24 who was a hell of a player but had a bad bad bad attitude. He would complain about every call that was made on him, and felt that he could do no wrong. After a call in the first half my partner dinged him for, the kid said something so he gets stuck. Later in the second half as we are lining up for Ft's no. 24 tells one his players to " Chin Check" the other guy. I told the kid why are you telling him to chin check him. No. 24 responed, ref you don't even no what a chin check is. I was like you know, I'm older than you and know what it is and don't tell your teammate that. Now you are on the edge.

So with a minute left his team is down by 2. no. 3 black fouls and we are in the bonus. As we are lining up for ft's, no.3 black starts saying things about the call and I was like, " What did you say"? He was like nothing ref, I said thats right you said nothing. So now other guys are complaining and no. 24 is still talking when it doesn't even relate to him. I was like you know something guys ( to both teams), you guys aren't in the NBA and not that great yet, so stop complaining. No. 24 now pops off again and still won't stop. I was like now you are borderline. Still won't be quiet and keeps ranting and raving, so my partner and I at the same blow the whistles and ding him. I tech him, pitch him, and his team loses by 5.

After the game his coach was like no 24. said you told him to his face that he was sorry. I was like coach why would I tell a player that he was a sorry player. I'm more professional than that. He was like I have known you for a couple of years, and I know the kid doesn't lie. I was like you know coach you know I'm more professional than that, and I never told him that.

So this morning scheduling to do 3 championship games, my partner the same from Saturday, got pulled off after our first one. The assigner, said that the admin. is still upset about what happened and don't want you two working. So the assigner came in with his partner and they work the two games remaining. So I'm pissed! Not about the situation but how the assigner handled it. A guy we both thought that was our friend pulls us off 2 AAU games because admin. is mad. He stabbed us in the back.

As an assigner aren't you supposed to have the officials back? So what if they are pissed, let us work, but don't pull us off. I told the assigner i wasn't going to do any more favors for him (like this tourney) and just stick to my college ball ( since he assigns during the season and what not), and this is absolute B.S. You are supposed to have our backs. I see where we stand. I do that right thing and pitch kid after being more than generous with warnings after the first tech and we get screwed. See we don't do the right thing we lose control of the game and something happens and we get screwed. We do that right thing and we still get screwed ( in my situation). What is your guys take on my situation.

What do you guys think about the situation

I'm like baffled.

As You Like It ...
 

Mark Padgett: I like agree.

Wait. I like made a mistake.

No problem with "(like this tourney)".

I think that you don't display very much professionalism or maturity on the court. You are confrontational with the players and probably cause most of the situations that end up in technical fouls and ejections.

Plus, I seriously hope that your officiating is better than your writing skills because the entire passage reads as if a fifth-grader is telling the story.

1) Way, way too much talking and not enough doing on your part. Why should the players listen to you? You warned them- multi times- and then you failed to follow up on those warnings. The idea is that you give <b>ONE</b> warning only and then follow up on it. All you have to do is say "that's enough" and then just whack 'em if they don't listen.

2) Your assignor was completely wrong, if he took you off those games because of the reasons that you laid out. If he did so because you let the players get away with too much crap(which you did), I maybe could believe it.

Dude, this is AAU a perfect time to pitch a player for the smallest thing. Just because its summer ball does not mean you do not treat it as if it's not regular season. I'm a firm believer, if you let crap like this happen in the summer you will let it happen in the regular season. IMO, you can't just turn the switch on and off whenever you get ready. Carry yourself in the summer, like you will carry yourself in the regualar season.

Yes my officiating is better than my writing skills. You state that I'm confrontational with the players and probably cause most of the situations that end up in technical fouls and ejections. So if you were in the situation I was in and heard that player say what he said during the game you would do nothing? My partner assessed the first technical, I had two opportunities which warranted a 2nd technical foul and warned the player before acting. I don't understand how that is unprofessional or shows that I lack maturity on the court. I don't understand how telling a player that he is on the edge/borderline is confrontational. Can you please elaborate on your statement so I can grow from this experience and learn from my fellow colleagues in the forum?

1. I agree. This was a very long story that I wrote out for you guys.

2. After talking with the assigner, he said it was not because we let too much crap go. It was indeed the reasons which I laid out. I agree with the one warning. You know dealing with freshman basketball players, I wanted to try to at least talk the kid out of doing something dumb. I haven't worked that level for about 2 yrs. You know dealing with big guys at the varsity and college level, you talk to them once, they usually get the idea. Then if they get stuck with one, the coach usually pulls them out or screams at them. I guess was too nice with this one. Do you have anymore feedback in which I can use, to better myself when a situation arises like this again?

Here's your problem. The first T was the warning. The second one gets rid of the problem. If he mouths off from the bench, then indirects accrue to the coach and he will be gone, too.

It is really hard to say what should or should not have been done by the story. I will admit that I talk more during any summer or off season league because the consequences of the penalties are not always the same. You are often not dealing with the type of coaches that will control their kids and giving a T in AAU does not automatically solve all problems. I would suggest that you stay away from all the conversation until you know how to control the situation with your words better. At this time it is clear that either you have not grasped that skill completely (sometimes takes years) or you just need to take care of business.

What the assignor did might not have been the best way to handle the situation, but that does not make them not within their right to do so. I agree that it might not be fair, but in AAU assignments a lot of things are not done the same as the regular season. I would either talk to the assignor what happen or just not help them out in the future. You do not have to make that issue public or known; just do not return phone calls or emails. And you cannot be booked when you ordinarily would have been available if the situation bothers you enough.

Peace

These two exchanges could certainly be considered confrontational.

T-Dawg,

There's a reason they call you "Tommygun" use it!!! Like I said when you called me, you gave to much rope. Give him #2 and send him to the house. Yeah, some of your comments were a bit confrontational, but hey it happens. Grow from that, and always remember "Silence can't be quoted."

I've found that every time I've tried to be nice and give a player some rope, I end up hanging myself. I've ended up flinging more techs than I would have if I had just given the first one. I don't do that anymore. If its there, I call it. If that makes me a hothead then I'm a hothead.

As for your assignor, unfortunately sometimes its easier just say "I give up" and pull you guys and hope you'll forgive him. Problem is, we alienate our own at that point. It completely undermines your authority and makes you feel about 2 feet tall, but there's really nothing you can do. I ejected a tournament director who had a team playing one time. It took 2 hours to get my money and I haven't worked there since, but I knew I was right.

So, chin up big dawg, this ain't the end of the world. Just be a jerk like me and start flinging techs with no warnings, you'll be fine!!!! :p

CLH

True. It's not the end of the world. I have too many good things in officiating right now, that this something that I really don't need to fuss about. I'm just looking for ways to handle different situations. I was talking to my D1 buddy today and told him basically everything I posted. He was like you were right in pitching him. This is something that's covered in the book (unsportsmanlike conduct, etc). He said in officiating that's the way it is. You do something wrong you get in trouble, you do something right you still get in trouble. There is no middle ground. In the next few years it's just going to keep getting worse. He just said, in those types of situation just be careful with techs and whatnot, since officiating is changing everyday.

Tommy,
JAR selected a couple of instances from your story that would serve as examples of you being confrontational towards the players. More generally, as JR mentioned, you engaged in way too much banter with the young men in this game. That kind of back and forth only brings you down to their level. What you want from any verbal communication is not only for them to comply with your instructions, but also for the players to respect you as an authority figure and the job that you are doing for them. Since they don't know you from prior experiences, this has to develop from what they see from you during the game. Part of that is conveyed through your effort, hustle, and the quality of your decisions, but another and rather large component of their opinion of you comes from how you treat them.

In your comment about them not being in the NBA, you directly insulted the players. After that you certainly cannot expect them to react positively to you.
In my statement about your writing skills, I was intentionally insulting as I was attempting to provoke a response from you which I could then use to illustrate my point about how people react when insulted. Amazingly, you elected to reply in a very cordial manner and thusly ruined my planned example. Good for you. Perhaps you are more mature than your recounting of this AAU game led me to believe.

Unfortunately, from reading your post I got the impression that you were almost bragging about putting these players in their place as it seemed to be nearly overflowing with machismo. From your point of view you obviously felt that your interaction with these players was justified when they challenged you. While to an outside observer your behavior would most likely to be judged to have been a part of the problem. I would like you to take a few moments and try to mentally place yourself in the stands watching the interaction that occurred between the players and officials in this contest. What would your thoughts be upon hearing the words exchanged?

It's late and I just finished working an AAU tournament this weeked myself (by coincidence I happened to work the championship game) so I need some rest, but I will try to share what I would have done in your place tomorrow.

Good stuff Nevada. I'm off to bed myself. I will certainly sleep on what you said. I never thought about that. I'm looking forward to your feedback. By the way I apologize for screwing up your example.

Are you sure weren't the friend of this assignor...working TRef21's games? :)

That sums up nicely the problems that you had in that particular game.

You should have dealt with the players exactly as you wrote above. Give them one warning, and if they don't listen to that warning, then issue the immediate "T". If you do it that way, no one in the gym (including the players, coaches, tournament director and your assignor) can possibly have any <b>legitimate</b> complaint about your actions. All the extra talking and warning that you did ended up serving absolutely no purpose at all, did it?

If you take care of bidness properly, then you <b>NEVER</b> have any worries about the players, coaches and tournament directors. You <b>KNOW</b> that you handled the situation exactly the way that it should have been handled. And, as for your assignor, you can now ask him if he had any legitimate reason to take you off of the game, other than keeping a tournament director happy. If he can't come up with anything, put it down as a learning experience and don't put yourself in that position again with that particular assignor....unless you do AAU ball strictly for the money, like a lot of officials.

Jmo.

In regards to the assignor, if a High School or College AD or coach or a AAU host team administrator tells an assignor I don't want JoeRef at my school anymore because of XYZ reasons, chances are my assignor will probably not send me there. Its a business. Is it right? I don't think so, but it is a business. Just my .02.

TRef, there's a lot of really good information and advice in this thread. And I honestly don't have a whole lot to add to it. I think Jurassic, and especially JRutledge, have really made some excellent points.

The only thing that I would add is that these "player management" skills that we're discussing don't just come naturally to everybody. I've been officiating for about 15 years, and do some college ball, and it's still sometimes a struggle for me at the college level. The good news is that AAU is the perfect place to work on it. (At that level, my experience has been that the best policy is generally, "whack early and whack often". :) )

When it comes to "player management" you have to consider time and place as well as your audience. I've had two really painful lessons in that in the past few months. In a "real" game setting (regular season HS, etc.) a good team with a good coach is usually fairly easy to manage. If you're having trouble with a player, the coach usually sees it and pulls the player.

But in wreck leagues and summer ball, all bets are off. The mouthy punk kid is just as likely as not to have a mouthy punk coach who doesn't understand the first thing about disciplining his little superstars. Trying to manage punks by getting in their grill doesn't shut them down, it leads to escalated punky behavior. They don't understand they're getting a break; they think they're right (as always) and you're just attacking them. You can't fix stupid!

You can only demonstrate to the punk that his behavior consistently leads to an undesirable outcome. Eventually the punk learns that no matter how "unfair" it is, when he pops off he gets whacked. Eventually he'll stop doing it. Or else he proves himself to be such a stupid punk over time that no good coach will pick him up for any level of ball that you and I want to be working. Either way, we don't have to deal with his punky behavior any longer.

Bottom line: whack the little **** when he deserves it. And if the coaches won't take care of business, and the TD and assignor won't back you, then screw 'em. You don't want to be working in that situation then anyway.

Just my bitter $0.02 ;)

English translation: "Whack early, whack often." :)

You should've ejected him and then you wouldn't have had future problems.

But thank you for my annual reminder why I've stopped working basketball after my season ends in March.

Exactly. Assignors are not your friends -- they are likely getting a cut of your game fee and, in general, they aren't going to throw away income to back one referee, regardless of how good you are. It's a bidness.

I don't work rec ball anymore, but I never gave warnings during rec or AAU ball. I just whacked early and often.

When someone asked why I didn't give a warning, I said "That was the warning. If he does it again, he's ejected."

That always rubbed people the wrong way at first, but it's amazing after a few weeks how people come around and realize there's more basketball and less BS than before and it actually makes it better for everyone involved, including the site admins and the coaches.

Sounds like this T took too long. This conversation was not necessary or helpful, it seems. Just use the information to keep a better eye on post action.
"What did you say" rarely ends well. If you feel the talking needs to get addressed, I'd find a different way of doing it. None of this was necessary or helpful, it seems. In fact, as has been said, it seems a bit insulting and counterproductive. No surprise things went south from there: Borderline? This kid crossed the border a long time before this. Your conversations would have ended and your troubles may have been avoided had you stuck him sooner and more frequently. Again, this took too long to get to.
This entire conversation would have been avoided had you not spent so much time trying to talk these kids out of technical fouls. You told them they "weren't that great...." That's what 24 heard, and to him it's the same thing as "you're sorry." He just paraphrased you, and did it relatively accurately it seems.
Frankly, I'd have pulled you, too; for talking too much.

I think you're assigner covered his a$$ after you forced his hand. If this guy assigns some of your season college games, don't be surprised if your workload gets decreased next year.

Can't completely agree.

It sureasheck is a business....but....assignors have to provide bodies(hopefully but not necessarily always capable bodies:) ) to fill available games. Assignors therefore depend on the officials that work for them to be available for those games. Unfortunately, in most states there also seems to be an annual shortage of officials. If an assignor starts to lose good people because of a failure to keep his officials fairly content, he/she ain't gonna be the assignor for very long imo.

It doesn't do any assignor any good to have a ton of games available unless he can provide officials to do those games. And you aren't going to keep your officials or have officials go the extra mile for you when you need them to if you're crapping on them like tref got crapped on. If a legitimate complaint is received about an official, fine, the assignor should deal with it. An official righteously taking care of bidness ain't ever a legitimate complaint though imo.

Officials make their assignors look good, not vice-versa.

I like your words.

As scrappy-doo said, there's lots of good info in this thread concerning game management skills...what I have learned over the years ( in reffing and in teaching middle school kids) is that I will NEVER win a "banter-battle" with the kids on the court or in the classroom. So I set my boundaries and when those boundaries are crossed there are consequences...the players and students appreciate that and know how far they can go and they actually like the comfort level that knowledge brings. To suddenly have an official who gets mouthy back at them is like throwing gas on their little testosterone fire - it just gets them hotter and madder and they take it further - and then we look bad because we said this or that...life is much simple when you just administer the consequences for poor behavior and not worry about trying to "teach the kid a lesson" so to speak.

That's true for the "kids" at all levels...going up and into their 40's also....

Nope he doesn't assign any of my college games.

The original post reminded me of something I heard in line at the grocery store a few weeks ago. There were two teenage girls ahead of me. One said to the other, "I can't help it. I like, like him." :p

T-dawg is just skurred to be throwing techs, he still a little wet behind the ears.I explained all this to him last night and he's still arguing with me. HAHA! Someday he'll learn!

:p

Me, instead of engaging in conversation, I would have said loudly to my partner "Watch #24 and #???"(whoever #24 was talking to). That would get the players attention without any unnecessary verbiage or exchanges.

Why would you ask #3 what he said? What purpose does that serve? If you heard what he said then respond appropriately--warning, technical, ignore--whatever the case may be. But if you didn't hear something then don't go looking for a fight.

If you make a smart-a$$ comment to a player you best believe he will have a response and/or will complain to his/her coach. Me, I know exactly what I would have said to #24--"you already have 1 tech". That's it. There would have been no other reason for me to say anything. He would have either shut up or earned a 'T' after that.

But he's in SoCal and has 3 years of experience, right?

That's a good one that seems to always work.

ouch...that's gonna leave a mark.

Tommy,

You got way too confrontational with the players, especially when these are 9th graders for AAU ball. If they mouth off at each other, whack both of them. Their 1st T is their first warning. I'd like what BadNewsRef said, say it loudly to your partner "Watch #24 and #???"(whoever #24 was talking to). This would usually alarm them to play ball rather talk. If they cross the line of sportsmanship again, then whack them but use your T wisely and make sure it is a good one. You are always doing the right thing by issuing deserved T's despite of what fan/coaches/players think.

At camps, assignors/coordinators/observers like to see guys who can manage the game, especially at the higher level. Don't tolerate BS, take care of it! If you can't handle 9th graders, what makes your college assignors think you can handle young adults at the JC or higher level? The whole thing about these are 9th graders and you don't work this level is BS - I know you can do better than that.

Call your assignors tonight (after supper when he's relaxed and comfy) and chat briefly with him how the tournament went. Don't bring up why he pulled you off the game. He did it for a reason so let it be. Just let him know you are there to assist him for future tournaments and if you do this, chances are you'll gain more respect from him.

mwanr1 makes a good point. you have to manage the game here. I understand your hesitance(sp?) to throw, what sounds to be, the best player on the floor out. It's hard to do, but think about the next guy that has to ref him... what kind of box are you putting him in? even kobe gets tossed every once in a while... I will piggyback off what badnewsref has already said, if it is just 24 you are problem with, you announce that you have had enough and that if he says anything else you are ejecting him, while also announcing it loud enough to your partners where not only they hear you but the coaches, and if you are lucky, the fans can here you as well so when you toss him everyone in the gym is like, "dang the ref told him not to say anything else". You can also put a little acting job in there as well. after you blow the whistle to eject the kid add some more verbage like, "you can't say that to me" or "that's too much" or "I've already warned you" and then announce the T and the ejection.

To backtrack a bit, when you tell 24 you've had enough and announce it loudly try not to do it in a demeaning way. I don't know how to explain it really but most people know when they've done something in a demeaning way. Like I've seen refs warn coaches before and I have seen it look like the ref was demeaning and showing up the coach and i've also seen it where it looked like nothing more was going on then the coach was just being warned and nothing else was happening. That is what you are striving for. You want it to appear that you are in full control of the situation but that you are not overbearing and abrasive, if that makes sense.

I can't figure out how you do what you're saying without being demeaning. You can't loudly tell a player to knock it off without being demeaning. And really, you don't need to sell this to the fans or anyone else.

If you've decided to have a few words directly with a player make sure it's between you, the player and your partner either at that moment or shortly after. The coach may or may not be included, they don't always help. No need to get loud or put on a show, just tell him exactly what he's doing wrong and how he needs to change his behavior. Then drop it. If you've decided the player's just a jerk go to the captain ot some other team mate you trust & tell him to get his player in line.

i don't mean you are saying it loud enough directly while looking at the player. I should have explained it better. when you say it loud enough you are looking at one or both of your partners and saying, "guys i've had enough from 24" but really and truly nothing should have to be said after the first T.

I do truly believe there is a way to do this in a non-overbearing or abrasive way, while not being demeaning as well.

Well, I don't want to go around & around on this but when you say "I've had enough" you've made it personal and you leave yourself open to interpretation & argument. I prefer "Hey 24 knock off (whatever he's doing)" or "Hey partner let's keep our eye on 24 he's (whatever)" or "Hey captain, have a talk with #24 he's gonna cost you because he's (whatever)"

We do agree we can do this without being abrasive or demeaning, we just don't agree that your way will get us there ;)

Please don't do this. This is exactly the kind of behavior that leads morons to say, "You're not the show, you know!" Because if you do that nonsense, you are putting on a show. It's absolutely unnecessary. It doesn't make you look any better. Just take care of business. Everybody can see through theatrics, including an assignor. Just follow the rules in a professional manner and you'll go far. Put on a show and you look like a clown. JMO

Good point Marco. You know at camp, I would never do that. I wanted to try some other method of communication with these guys. You know being 9th graders they are a bunch of smart asses. However I didn't take that into consideration. That was my mistake. I do feel it was wrong for both us to be pulled off those two games though. Yes my actions were inappropriate, but after working the 1st of 3 games, an assignor should come out in the floor and dressed ready to work with his new partner, and tell us that the admin is still upset about what happened. An assignor would let us finish the games. If we get a call the day before than thats fine. I was upset because the assignor is a friend and did that to my partner and I.

These may be helpful to TRef21. I tried to email it to him in a private message, but it was too long, so for those of you who have seen these before, please ignore this post.

Technical Fouls
Top Reasons To Not Give A Technical Foul
• You can address a coach before it becomes a problem. A quiet word can go a long way in preventing a technical foul.
• When coaches complain, ask yourself, is the call questionable, is the call wrong. If they have a legitimate gripe, then allow them some latitude. Be courteous. Do not argue. Be firm and fair
• If you know a coach is upset then move away from him or her, even if it means that you and your partner are not switching or rotating properly.
• Warnings can be very effective in preventing situations from escalating. Don't tolerate a lot before a warning.
• Lend a reasonable ear. Coaches like to be heard. If you ignore them then they become more frustrated and are more likely to lose control.
• If an assistant is out of line, then you can speak to the head coach and ask them to help you out.
• If a player is out of line then let the coach know. Tell them you've warned their player. That way if you do give a technical foul, then the coach isn't surprised. Most good coaches will speak to the player first.
• If you have had a rough day and know your fuse is short, keep that in mind before you do anything rash. Ask yourself, does the situation come under one of the top reasons to give a technical foul.
• If necessary, give an initial strong warning. Let your partner know about the warning.
Top Reasons To Give A Technical Foul
There are many different factors to consider when deciding to give a technical foul. Generally, there are
three areas of coach's behavior that need attention: when a coach makes it personal, when a coach
draws attention to himself or herself, and when a coach's complaints are persistent. Some technical
fouls are easy. They are black and white situations that leave little room for negotiation:
• Using profanity or language that is abusive, vulgar, or obscene.
• A coach questions your integrity.
• Inciting an undesirable crowd reaction.
• A coach is embarrassing an official.
• A coach or player has been warned and has not heeded the warning.
• Leaving the confines of the coaching box and complaining.
• A coach demonstrates displeasure with your partner and their back is turned.
Other technical fouls are not as black and white. In some situations, a warning may be appropriate before
the technical foul is given:
• A coach or player continually demonstrates signals or asks for calls.
• If they have interfered with the game or your concentration, then they have usually gone too far.
• If giving a technical will help give structure back to the game and if it will have a calming effect on things.
Top Ways To Give A Technical Foul
• Calling a technical foul should be no different then calling any other foul. It is simply a rule that requires a penalty. Maintain a calm attitude, have poise and presence. Don’t personalize it. Don't embarrass the coach by being demonstrative.
• Take your time. Don’t over react. Always sound the whistle and stop the clock with a foul signal. Signal the technical foul. Take a deep breath to calm yourself. Proceed to the reporting area, report the technical foul clearly to the table, and leave the area. Never look at a coach when you give a technical foul.
• Confer with your partner. If the technical foul is charged to the head coach or bench personnel, have your partner inform the coach of the loss of the coaching box.
• Explanations, it needed should be done by partner. Always explain technical fouls on players to coaches.
• Proceed with the administration of the penalty. After technical fouls, put the ball in play immediately. Because a coach has been penalized with a technical foul does not mean that the coach is allowed rebuttal time.
• Make them earn the second technical foul. Don't be reluctant to give the second technical foul if it is warranted.
• Do not discuss a technical foul or an ejection of a player or coach beyond the confines of the gymnasium. Doing so is very unethical. The penalty is enough.

Communication With Coaches
General Techniques:
• Statements by coaches don’t normally need a response. Answer questions, not statements.
• Let the coach ask their question first, before speaking. Be a responder, not an initiator.
• Most coaches will have questions when they believe the officials have missed an obvious call.
• Having the officials in closer proximity often calms down the coach.
• Be in control and speak in calm, easy tones. Be aware of your body language; maintain positive and confident body language.
• Make eye contact with the coach when the situation allows.
• Do not try to answer a question from an out of control coach; deal with the behavior first.
• If you’ve missed a call or made a mistake; admit it. This technique can only be used sparingly, perhaps once a game.
• Don’t bluff your way through a call.
• Do not ignore a coach.
Specific Communication Examples:
Coach sees the play very differently than the official:
“Coach, if that’s the way it happened/what you saw, then I must have missed it. I’ll take a closer look next time.”
“Coach, I understand what you’re saying, however, on that play, I didn’t see it that way. I’ll keep an eye for it on both ends.”
“Coach, I had a good look at that play and here’s what I saw [short explanation].”
“Coach, I understand what you’re saying, but my angle was different than yours.”
“Coach, I had a great look at that play, but I understand your question and I’ll have the crew keep an eye on it.”
“Coach, I had that play all the way and made the call.”
Coach believes you’re missing persistent illegal acts by the other team:
“OK coach, we’ll watch for that.”
“Coach, we are watching for that on both ends of the court.”
Coach is questioning a partner’s call:
“Coach, that’s a good call, as a crew we have to make that call.”
“We’re calling it on both ends.”
“Coach, they were right there and had a great angle.”
“Coach, we’re not going there, I can’t let you criticize my teammate.”
“Coach, they had a great look, but if you have a specific question, you’ll have to ask them, they’ll be over here in just a minute.”
Coach is very animated and gesturing:
“Coach, I’m going to talk with you and answer your questions, but you must put your arms down/stop the gesturing.”
“Coach, please put your arms down. Now, what’s your question?”
Coach is raising their voice asking the question\:
“Coach, I can hear you/I’m standing right here, you don’t need to raise your voice.”
"Coach, I need you to stop raising your voice and just ask your question calmly.”
Coach is commenting on something every time down the floor:
“Coach, I need you to pick your spots, we can’t have a comment on every single call that is being made.”
Coach has a good point and might be right.
“You’ve got a good point and might be right about that play.”
“You might be right, that’s one we’ll talk about at halftime/intermission/the next time out.”
“You might be right; I may not have had the best angle on that play.”
Coach is venting, make editorial comments:
“I hear what you’re saying”
“I hear what you’re saying, but we’re moving on.”
Coach just won’t let it go:
“I’ve heard enough and that’s your warning.”

Following these guidelines has helped me with game management in my high school varsity games, and I don't hesitate to use them in lower level games, middle school, AAU, recreation, travel, etc.

Your assignor blew you out because the tourney is worth more (money) to him than you are.

T 'em and toss 'em.

Tommy,
You have every right to be upset that he pulled you off the games. keep in mind that it's not his best interest to pull you. The assignor would rather not deal with the admin and let you ref the remaining two games. And he probably know in his head that the two of you did the right thing. If the admin is adamant that the two of you shouldn't ref the remaining games, then let it be. You don't need this AAU crap to prove that you're competent of officiating and just because you got pulled that doesn't make you a "bad" official. Matter of fact, you show maturity by letting it go so grow with it.

When it comes down to it, it's business for the admin and the assignor.
If he's your friend, step in his shoes and see it from his perspective.
Let's not get into this kind of BS in Vegas! :D

TRef21,

Don't get into conversations with players. Majority of the time they aren't interested in what you have to say, even if it is rational and in their best interest. If they ask you a question, keep the answer short and concise, but don't get caught in debating with them.

Now on the first T on #24, in my experience, the coach wants to know what the player said or did to get the T. So I don't know if either you or your partner told the coach why he got the T. If #24 or any of his teammates continue to display the actions that got #24 the first T, I would get to the coach ASAP and explain to him the situation and what's going to happen real soon if things don't change. Assuming he isn't blind, he's seeing what his players are doing. Give him the opportunity to get his players straightened out. Any technicals from that point on are pretty much unarguable.

If this was HS game, I would probably involve the team's captain for help in controlling his teammate(s).

Try to keep your emotions out of it. There is already enough emotions on the court flying around. Let the rules book be your third partner out there and stick to it. This is a good experience to learn from.....