Saturday morning little guy rec. I had 5th grade boys for three games. The usual happened in the second game. The howler monkey starts yelling "3 seconds" while shots are going up. At first I ignore it. After all, his team was getting waxed.

However, the third time it happened, I went over to him at a break and tried to calmly explain the rule. He said that I didn't have to explain it to him since he "had reffed for four years."

I told him that was even more reason for him to know the rule. He said he knows the rule and I then asked him that if that was the case, why was he interpreting it incorrectly?

He just stared and I told him that if he could tell me how, during a period of no team control, how team control is reestablished, I would give him five bucks.

Again, he just stared. I said, "That's what I thought. Now sit down and don't complain until you actually have read a rulebook. In fact, I think I know where you can get a big print version with lots of pictures."

That was the end of his yapping for the day, although I'm still stumped by one of his earlier statements that "tall kids have elbows."

That was news to me. ;)

I've heard, "He's all elbows and knee caps," but I've never heard "tall kids have elbows." He probably read it in the same rulebook that says there's a 3 second count during a shot. ;)

I majored in Health & Physical Education. I had courses in anatomy, physiology, kinesiology, etc. It's a fact that tall kids have elbows. It's also a fact that short kids, middle-sized kids, fat kids, skinny kids, ALL kids have elbows. I even discovered that adults also have elbows.

Bob

For some reason, today was the day to inappropriately complain about 3 seconds. I did four games, and in every game there was at least one parent yelling about three seconds, always at a completely irrelevant time, such as when there was no one there, and once as the defense was running back up court with the stolen ball. Didn't have a lot of howling otherwise, though. These were really good teams, with good coaches who spend more time watching their players, and less "coaching" the refs. (Mark, just for the record, this was Fenk-ball, which has consistently been a LOT better than Spitz's stuff. I'm takin' my chances and switching.)

Juulie - as you know, I did "Fenk-ball" for years and you're right. The coaches really were never a problem, plus Robbie always paid on game day and he gave us free pop.

Today, I did three boys JV games at The Hoop in Beaverton and my partner called an intentional foul on a made basket. The shooter made one of two, and when I went to administer the inbound on the baseline to the same team, some Brainiac in the stands went ballistic, yelling that they can't get two shots and the ball if the basket is made.

My partner yelled back, "Hey - get a job, buy a rulebook, learn to read, then read it."

I thought that was pretty good. Earlier I called offensive B.I. when an offensive player snapped the rim while his teammate's shot was in the cylinder. The offensive team's howler monkey yelled that you can't call B.I. against an offensive team. This was the same coach that earlier complained when someone on the other team, after picking up his dribble, touched the ball to the floor while holding it. The monkey screeched that it was a double dribble. I told him that touching the ball to the floor while holding it wasn't a dribble. He said, "even with both hands?" I said, "one hand, two hands, three hands - it's still not a dribble."

Where do they get these guys?

Sorry, Bob, but I'm going to have to be the anatomical smart-*** for the day.

Not everyone has elbows - some people are born without or lose their hands and arms. :)

That's cold Mark -- even for an official:p

Sorry, but that's been ingrained in my head thanks to my high school anatomy teacher. She would always recount how she put on tests "most people have this many kidneys" because if you put all it would be incorrect.

Dexter -- You get triple points in my book for typing this out loud. It has nothing to do with "Political Correctness." When someone with no elbows, whose mother unknowingly did permanent damage by taking Thalidomide, hears that "everyone has elbows" that person can't help but feel less than human. It gets old having to constantly remind oneself that "even though I can't throw an elbow, I am still in fact a human being". Its only humam to remember that humanity is a syndrome, not a virus.