Actual adult league Davism. Feel free to use it anytime.


Howler Monkey: He's been over my guy's back all game long.

Dave: No, coach. He's just taller and he's reaching over the top of your guy without contact - there's no foul. I can't help it if your guy's short.

Howler Monkey: My guy's not that short.

Dave: Coach, your guy's so short you can see his feet in his drivers licence photo.

As a relatively new forum participant and reader, could someone enlighten me how we arrived at "Davism"? I think it should make for good reading.

I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

No, really, it started with me quoting a real guy named Dave. He worked rec leagues for years and then when he started working sanctioned games, he stopped with the sarcastic remarks, as he probably should.

It has continued with a "composite" character that is now a generic term for anyone who makes these kinds of remarks or would like to.

Someday, for the right price, I'll tell you the origin of "Howler Monkey", "table chimps", "puke on his shoes" and "stare at his pants".

Your guy is so short he can play handball on the curb.

I actually heard a good one from a coach. His team was getting slaughtered, and at the half he said (under his breath, and only to the two officials) "we're playing 'vomit offence'". OK, the ref bites, "What is vomit offence? "First player with the ball in frontcourt throws it up!"
I had a typical coach (Howler Monkey) comment last night in an 8th grade girls game. I called a blocking foul on B1 during A1's shot. Admittedly, a bit late. Offended coach says, "That whistle was at least 2 seconds late!" (It was maybe 0.2 seconds late.) I said "Yes, it was a little late but it was the right call."
His final reply, "What's that got to do with anything?"

[Edited by Tom Cook on Mar 6th, 2002 at 03:42 PM]

here's two more
 

Spectator: (insert the usual nonsense here)
Dave: Hey - this is my job. I don't come to where you work and unplug the Slurpee machine.

Howler Monkey: (insert the usual nonsense here)
Dave: Save your breath, coach. You might need it later when you have to blow up your date.