Funny things you hear from coaches and your partners..........
 

some of my favorites from this season:
coach: "he has to be set at least two seconds to take a charge"

coach: "we are in the bonus, it should be one and one."
me: "it was a player control foul coach, you dont get a one and one for that, you get the ball"
coach: "when did they change that rule?"

coach: "a jump stop, then two steps is not a travel because jump stopping doesnt count as a forward step"

me: "(confused) what have you got?"
my partner: "I dont know, my whistle just went off"

coach: "the principle of verticality is BS, I think you guys just make that stuff up as you need to"

coach: "thirty games into the season you are gonna call hand checking in the open court like that?"
me: "coach, your guy hit him in the face"
coach: "yeah but he didnt mean it, he was just playing tight defense"

my partner: "what did you signal right there?"
me: "didnt touch the rim on the FT attempt"
my partner: "yeah but they already got the ball"

coach: "he can't be called for 3 seconds, he had the ball."

I had an all time favorite this season. I called a kid for pushing through a screen in a boy's varsity game. I report the foul, we are in double bonus so we get ready to shoot and he steps over by me waiting to be subbed for (his 3rd foul in the first half I think). He says, "Sir, what did I do?" I told him that he made no effort to avoid the screener and pushed through him illegaly. He tells me, "But if I don't push through the screen, how am I supposed to guard the shooter?" I responded, "Isn't that kind of the point of screening when you're on offense? Why do you screen for your teammates?" He responds with, "But if I run around the screen he'll get an open shot." I said, "Maybe, but that is why teams screen isn't it." He just shook his head and had no clue what I was saying. Luckily the coach was right beside me listening and shaking his head like I was in disbelief that the kid could play varsity and not understand this.

After I call a kid for traveling when he falls down after gaining control of the ball, coach says, "His cheek becomes his pivot."
Me: visual but silent laughter. Hey, I thought he was joking.
Coach: "I'm serious. His butt cheek becomes the pivot on that."
Me: " "

Ask him which one? And then tell him you saw him move it! :cool:

BUTT CHEEKS = PIVOT HAHAHAHAHAHA

some more as I think about them I will add:
coach: "what game are you watching"
me: "this game"
coach: "no way"
me: "yes way Ted" (line from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure for those of you scoring at home)
coach: "(confused)my name is not Ted"

me: (reporting a foul) Blue - 3-3 with a push - white out of bounds
very young coach: "that's not right, let me speak to the manager"
me: "wait, what? the manager?"
coach: "yeah the other reff, he is the manager right?"
me: (calling over my partner who has grey hair) "hey coach has a complaint and he wants to speak to my manager"
my partner: "you are sh+++ing me"

from my friends that are reffs:
coach: "our jerseys are legal where we come from
reff: "where is that coach?"
coach: "texas"
reff: "well coach when you get back to Texas you can put them on"

Coach: "Mike, The foul count is 8-2!"
Me: "Well tell your guys to stop fouling coach"


Coach: "That's not over and back...he can step on the line...he has to step all the way across for over and back!" (after FC was established)
Me: "So if he steps on the sideline, is he out or in?"
Coach: "He's out...It's different for backcourt"


On inbound after made basket (Guy I know really well is coaching)
Coach: "Mike, I think he crossed the line down there on the throw in...."
I ignored it the first time...after next basket...
Coach: "Mike, he's leaning over the line!"....I didn't say anything again...as I pass his bench he immediately says...."No, not so much????" We both busted out laughing.

At the next dead ball I explained to him it was ok unless he stepped onto the court...

I call a travel right in front of the bench. Assistant coach says " they don't call that on Kobe."

"I'm going to be little late.....start without me"

Just run a search of all my posts. ;)

This one is not mine...but it happened here in Portland:

Coach: "Ref, The foul count is 8-2!"
Ref: "Coach, your team has 2!! :confused: "
Coach: "&lt;silence&gt;<SILENCE>"

you're the meaning in my life, you're the inspiration..............

I was thinking about your posts when I started this thread big guy

:p

Thanks. Where's my check?

It would be almost impossible for me to pick a favorite, but perhaps one of them was the time a coach told me he knew he couldn't have both a zero and a double zero, but would it be OK if they just didn't both play at the same time. This was the same team whose assistant once asked me if it was OK if a girl on their team just put tape over her nose ring. I asked him how she then could possibly breathe. He thought for a minute and then said, "Ya' know, I never thought of that."

in the mail of course

Z is that you? I was doing a game my first year and I was watching the action and I thought to myself "No, I'm going to pass on that" , a second later everyone stopped. My partner came running in and says " Whatcha got?" I said " What do you mean?" he say " you blew your whistle, What do you have?" I said " I did? Oh, a foul on 21 blue, position here"......I didn't even know I blew it....

My favorite thing a coach said all season- " Call it both ways!", It was the first foul of the game.....

Just after requesting a full time out.....

Coach: How can we have 14 fouls and they only have 4??

Me: Coach, tell your kids to quit fouling.

Coach: What???????????????????????

Me: Tell your kids to quit fouling.


Time out ends, team breaks the huddle with "1 2 3...........NO FOULS!!"

Coach: "It sure is getting rough down low."
Official: "I know. I sure wouldn't want to be in there!"

Young official talking to my daughter, she is on defense:

Young Official: Don't reach.....Don't reach....tweet.....I told you not to reach.
Daughter: Reachin' ain't a foul, touchin' is a foul.
Young Official: :confused: :confused: Then smiles and reports the foul.

By the way she fouled.

Player: "But I did not hold or pull on his jersey!"

Me: "So that number in your hand just jumped off his uniform?"

Best one from a partner all season, and she is a HS senior working a rec game with me just last week:

Coach: (after a game in which only 5 fouls were called) "No fouls? We took a lot of elbows out there."

Partner: "Well you'd better give them back. We can't have kids going around without elbows!"

A Classic
 

Someone here can probably tell me where this came from. As I recall the story, there was a foul called on A1 just seconds after the game started. Coach B said, "Thanks, he's been doing that all night!"

Still makes me chuckle, years after I first heard it.

During the pregame conference I always say something about when the timeout request by the coach will be granted. "I have to see that it's you making the request or I have to be able to recognize your voice, at least." Early in the game, home coach bellowed out some little silly observation about a call. I gave him an inquiring look and he said, "Wanted to be sure you were able to recognize my voice."

Working a youth game ( 4th grade ) and coach can hardly contain himself ( ready to explode) , acting like it is the NCAA championships :

Coach : " That's a travel , you HAVE to call that ! "
Me : " Coach you're right ... tweet " ( His player had the ball)

Didn't say anything the rest of the game.

Brilliant!
 

Partner got off a brilliant one this morning in our 8th grade boys rec game.

Spectator: "WHERE'S THE FOUL??!!??"
Partner: "Apparently, only in your imagination."

The only thing that would have been more brilliant would have been if he would have continued, "You know, like your sex life."

http://content.answers.com/main/cont...1068d2eccf.jpg

That's pretty canny!

Had one this afternoon:

Coach Bill: How can you call three seconds right after he got his shot blocked?
Ref: His shot didn't hit the rim.

Ouch! Sorry, coach. That one hurts.

As canny as this?

http://www.jonco48.com/blog/beer_20cans.jpg

Along the same lines (not mine but happened in a JC game)...

Fouls are 7-0 (NCAA rules) against the home team. Foul called on V1. V coach jumps up.

V COACH: Homered! I'm getting homered! I can't believe it!!
REF: (walks to bench) Coach, look at the scoreboard.
V COACH: What am I looking at?
REF: The fouls are 7 to 1 for...
V COACH: I know! I can't believe it's 7-1! Unbelievable!!
REF: Coach, your team has 1 foul, the foul we just called.
V COACH: ... well, don't I feel like an a**hole?
REF: Yeah you do. Now here's the thing: I have to give you a T for your homer comment.
V COACH: Oh darn it. What do we do?
REF: As I walk away, throw your hands in the air.
V COACH: You'd do that for me?
REF: Yes but only this one time.

Coach throws hands in the air, gets whacked. At halftime...

V COACH: Hey ref, nobody's ever done anything like that for me before. How can I pay you back?
REF: Sit down and don't say another word tonight.

He did as he was told (there's no seatbelt rule here).

:confused: :confused: :confused:

What am I missing here? You can't have 3-seconds after a try -- shot blocked or not.

First half, I call a travel from T

As I jog downcourt coach is standing up and we have this exchange

"Travel?? Dan, c'mon...!"

"What? You didn't like that call? I thought it was a good call..."

"Yeah it was a great call...but I didn't like it!"

Rookie, I Hope ...
 

I believe that his was posted by a coach to show that officials say stupid things also. In this case, it looks like the official confused the release of the try, and end of team control, with the failure of the ball to hit the rim, as in a 30 second violation. In the, hopefully, rookie official's mind, since the shot didn't hit the rim, then he continued to count three seconds, as the 30 second clock kept ticking. I hope that this happened in an NCAA game, or a high school game that uses NCAA rules, or a hybrid version of NFHS rules with a shot clock, or this, hopefully, rookie official really has problems.

This is obviously another difference with FIBA - the 3 second count restarts when a shot is attempted. The referee makes a judgement on whether a throw is an attempt or not, it doesn't matter if it hits the ring (although it must hit the ring to restart the shot clock).

Woops....should have read the other posts first........

Yeah - I think that you are right... Unfortunately we have officials that don't know the rules! Doesn't really help our case!

Two from last week:

Coach (30-year veteran): That was traveling!!

Me: Coach, he was fumbling the ball.

Coach: Well, a fumble is still a travel!!

And my favorite from this year:

"If the defender is in the air, it HAS to be a foul on the defense!"

Just to add clarification. The 3 second count stops on the try. It does not restart again until the rebound is secured, assuming it's secured by the offense.

Yes, that was my point that officials say some funny things, too. It was the middle school championship game (NFHS rules). That three second call was crucial, too. In the last minute of a game we lost by 2. Championship game and we get assigned a ref that doesn't know the rules. His partner earlier in the game, gave the over the back "mechanic". I knew we were in for an interesting game.

She should be benched for such disregard of the English language.

Yeah, some people's kids....

Player quote
 

I heard this from a partner this year.
His daughter was home on break from college where she plays and is the captain of her team. This is what she asked her dad:
"Why is it that the longer the captain's meeting is, the worse the officiating?"
I thought this was hilarious and has quite a bit of validity.

EXCELLENT!!!

Ref screwed that one up.

Middle school boys game this year.....Team A is shooting ft's. Team A subs after first ft. The entering sub, A6 enters the game, lines up for the ft, then has an "oh s@#t!" moment, realizing he didn't communicate with the kid he went in for as to who he's now supposed to be guarding when his team is on defense.

He's quickly trying to yell back to his bench "who do I have? who do I have?" At this point, FT shooter A1 is getting annoyed with his teammate yelling (maybe is screwing up A1's ft concentration...whatever..).

A1 then yells to his teammate 3 feet away "it doesn't matter who you have!! just guard the guy who ends up in front of you!!"

Players, coaches, fans, and even my partner and I couldn't help but chuckle at that one! :D

Almost as funny as one of my all time favorites. Kid subbing in asks the kid going out who he was guarding. Kid replies, "Well, we're playing zone, so I guess - everybody."

Not sure what would be funnier in that instance of the team playing zone....your kid replying "everybody" or a kid replying "nobody"!

Since they were down about 20 at the time, "nobody" would have been appropriate. ;)