Funny things you hear from coaches and your partners..........
 

some of my favorites from this season:
coach: "he has to be set at least two seconds to take a charge"

coach: "we are in the bonus, it should be one and one."
me: "it was a player control foul coach, you dont get a one and one for that, you get the ball"
coach: "when did they change that rule?"

coach: "a jump stop, then two steps is not a travel because jump stopping doesnt count as a forward step"

me: "(confused) what have you got?"
my partner: "I dont know, my whistle just went off"

coach: "the principle of verticality is BS, I think you guys just make that stuff up as you need to"

coach: "thirty games into the season you are gonna call hand checking in the open court like that?"
me: "coach, your guy hit him in the face"
coach: "yeah but he didnt mean it, he was just playing tight defense"

my partner: "what did you signal right there?"
me: "didnt touch the rim on the FT attempt"
my partner: "yeah but they already got the ball"

coach: "he can't be called for 3 seconds, he had the ball."

I had an all time favorite this season. I called a kid for pushing through a screen in a boy's varsity game. I report the foul, we are in double bonus so we get ready to shoot and he steps over by me waiting to be subbed for (his 3rd foul in the first half I think). He says, "Sir, what did I do?" I told him that he made no effort to avoid the screener and pushed through him illegaly. He tells me, "But if I don't push through the screen, how am I supposed to guard the shooter?" I responded, "Isn't that kind of the point of screening when you're on offense? Why do you screen for your teammates?" He responds with, "But if I run around the screen he'll get an open shot." I said, "Maybe, but that is why teams screen isn't it." He just shook his head and had no clue what I was saying. Luckily the coach was right beside me listening and shaking his head like I was in disbelief that the kid could play varsity and not understand this.

After I call a kid for traveling when he falls down after gaining control of the ball, coach says, "His cheek becomes his pivot."
Me: visual but silent laughter. Hey, I thought he was joking.
Coach: "I'm serious. His butt cheek becomes the pivot on that."
Me: " "

Ask him which one? And then tell him you saw him move it! :cool:

BUTT CHEEKS = PIVOT HAHAHAHAHAHA

some more as I think about them I will add:
coach: "what game are you watching"
me: "this game"
coach: "no way"
me: "yes way Ted" (line from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure for those of you scoring at home)
coach: "(confused)my name is not Ted"

me: (reporting a foul) Blue - 3-3 with a push - white out of bounds
very young coach: "that's not right, let me speak to the manager"
me: "wait, what? the manager?"
coach: "yeah the other reff, he is the manager right?"
me: (calling over my partner who has grey hair) "hey coach has a complaint and he wants to speak to my manager"
my partner: "you are sh+++ing me"

from my friends that are reffs:
coach: "our jerseys are legal where we come from
reff: "where is that coach?"
coach: "texas"
reff: "well coach when you get back to Texas you can put them on"

Coach: "Mike, The foul count is 8-2!"
Me: "Well tell your guys to stop fouling coach"


Coach: "That's not over and back...he can step on the line...he has to step all the way across for over and back!" (after FC was established)
Me: "So if he steps on the sideline, is he out or in?"
Coach: "He's out...It's different for backcourt"


On inbound after made basket (Guy I know really well is coaching)
Coach: "Mike, I think he crossed the line down there on the throw in...."
I ignored it the first time...after next basket...
Coach: "Mike, he's leaning over the line!"....I didn't say anything again...as I pass his bench he immediately says...."No, not so much????" We both busted out laughing.

At the next dead ball I explained to him it was ok unless he stepped onto the court...

I call a travel right in front of the bench. Assistant coach says " they don't call that on Kobe."

"I'm going to be little late.....start without me"

Just run a search of all my posts. ;)

This one is not mine...but it happened here in Portland:

Coach: "Ref, The foul count is 8-2!"
Ref: "Coach, your team has 2!! :confused: "
Coach: "&lt;silence&gt;<SILENCE>"

you're the meaning in my life, you're the inspiration..............

I was thinking about your posts when I started this thread big guy

:p

Thanks. Where's my check?

It would be almost impossible for me to pick a favorite, but perhaps one of them was the time a coach told me he knew he couldn't have both a zero and a double zero, but would it be OK if they just didn't both play at the same time. This was the same team whose assistant once asked me if it was OK if a girl on their team just put tape over her nose ring. I asked him how she then could possibly breathe. He thought for a minute and then said, "Ya' know, I never thought of that."

in the mail of course

Z is that you? I was doing a game my first year and I was watching the action and I thought to myself "No, I'm going to pass on that" , a second later everyone stopped. My partner came running in and says " Whatcha got?" I said " What do you mean?" he say " you blew your whistle, What do you have?" I said " I did? Oh, a foul on 21 blue, position here"......I didn't even know I blew it....

My favorite thing a coach said all season- " Call it both ways!", It was the first foul of the game.....