In a game, the home team was called for a foul, he elbowed a kid on a screen, I didn't see it, but as the C going the other way after the call, a fan right behind me said "did you see the elbow". I hadn't but nodded my head without looking at him as to say "yea, I saw it". He promptly said "oh, ok, thanks." All's well that ends well.

In my rec league, I'll sometimes chat to the parents....Mainly the ones I konw from reffing their kids for the past 5 years....I'm on the Board of Directors so my lines get intertwined occassionally.

I actually stopped a game I was reffing once to tell an irate dad he needed to calm down...he decided he needed to get more lippy with me and I told him that it was no longer the ref speaking to him, it was a member of the board for the league and if he wanted to continue watching from the bleachers and not outside, he'd quiet down.

Doing a 7th grade boys game, midway thru the 2nd Q, with team A getting set to shoot fouls, I hear a "dad" yelling to my "administering" partner about the call. Nothing too bad, just loud as everyone had quieted down for the freethrows. Partner proceeds to loudly warn the fan with an ejection, and "dad" shuts up.
Older(65?), experienced Partner tells me(2nd year BB official) at halftime break, explaining how we have to keep those types of fans in line or they will incite the players. As a 12 year varsity baseball/football official, I disagree with him, but dont make a big thing out of it.
Game management (running the clock) had mentioned that the 2 opposing coaches and teams had bad blood between them. In the 3rd qtr, coach A complains for a foul, coach B yells to coach A that his player didnt foul, dirty looks back and forth, and we play on...
4th Qtr, I'm standing near bench B, when an A player walks by(was subbed out), and asst coach B gruffly says to him "what are you looking at?- go sit down!"....whack!
30 sec left in the game, "dads" team B down by 1, has a player foul out( only had 5 players to start), and fans start moaning at us. Team B starts fouling, but loses game.
Teams are shaking hands, I'm watching from centercourt for trouble(anyway, next game starts in 7 min), when the "dad" and his woman walk onto court behind me, dropping the Fbomb about our skills. I hadnt even turned around yet and partner confronts woman, "dad" verbally defends his mate, GM pushing them towards the door, with "dad"(all of maybe 5'4") yelling at me "what are you looking at" over and over, as I stared at the fool.
Prior to start of the next game (5th B), GM announces to a crowd of maybe 20 parents, about sportsmanship of fans...they are looking at ea other like "OK, what did we do?". Makes one wonder if things may have been different if partner had ignored "dad" earlier.....

Fan behavior can have an influence on the players and then you become the rotten SOB official who has to rein everyone back in. On the other hand, it's been a long year and the skin begins to thin out a bit. If I see the kids getting into it a bit, usually a lecture about keeping cool goes a long ways and seeps into the crowd a little bit. Not much maybe, but it shows we're on top of things.

I very rarely say anything out loud...sometimes say a lot to myself :p

Last Friday I had a B/G varsity double header...bitter rivals...standing room only crowd. They were loud, but not really saying anything that I noticed.

Early in the 4th quarter (I am T) A1 (in A's front court) is attempting a pass A2. Pass is tipped by B1, then tipped by A3 and goes into the back court. A3 chases down the ball and I call the violation. A few minutes later there a TO and I am standing near center court opposite table with the ball. A man in the front row very politely asks "Why was that back court? The defense tipped it toward the back court." I give him a two sentence explanation...takes maybe 5 seconds. He says "Thanks for the explanation. Most officials ignore my questions and I just want to understand."

After the game he approaches us as we are leaving, compliments our work and again thanks me for my answer. I replied that most officials probably aren't ignoring him, they just are either focused on the situation at hand or honestly don't hear him because they have trained themselves to tune everything out. Said he never thought of it that way and walked off.

I understand conversations with fans rarely turn out well but it just seemed right at the time. Trust me, I won't push my luck.

If I am standing at the spot during a timeout and someone asks me something like a rules question or intepretation, I will answer it. If someone is lobbying for a call, I'll ignore it.

Last week, I did what was probably the best girls JV game I ever saw. Two all girl Catholic schools who are located less than 5 miles apart. Bitter rivals. Both always good programs. The gym was packed when I got there at halftime of the freshman game. As a product of one of the all male high schools from the same side of town, I knew ALOT of the Dads in the crowd. It was a very intense but well played game. Midway through the fourth quarter, I was standing with the ball at the spot during a time out. I had a old man (at least 75) berate me the whole time about how he's been watching basketball for over 50 years and I am the worst referee he's ever seen. 30 seconds later, I'm standing at a different spot and another fan starts saying how this is the best referee'd game he has ever seen. (They were both fans of the same team) I just laugh at all that stuff.

Boys' JV game, very intense, 4th quarter FULL time out. I get to stand at the spot RIGHT in front of visiting team fans...bleachers come to within 3 foot of the floor. Loud comments to me and snide comments to each other (for the "benefit" of me to hear) about the way the game is being called and even some comments with racial overtones (I'm white BTW). I'm thinking three options: turn and say something, alert game mgmt. or just stand there stoicly. I chose option 3 and once I made that choice in my head I never felt more "alive" and priviledged to be where I was at. Not sure why that feeling came over me but I knew this was a great lesson in patience, tolerance or whatever that I can apply in any facet of life.

I ignore all comments unless it is vulgar and contains any racial remarks. In your case, I would have spotted out the perpetrator of the remark, call over game management to have him removed.

Well, I should qualify that they were somewhat subtle and might have raised more fuss by going to Game Adm. than worth. Urban vs. suburban school, all white crew and the comment (to his buddy, but designed to be heard by all including me) was along the lines of "you know where we are".

If I could ascertain that this came from a supporter of the visiting team, I would likely turn and say, "$75 per game, plus mileage." :D

my probelm is sometimes fans say stuff that make me laugh.

last night there was one who was good. Very original. picked up on that I wasn't wearing a lanyard (something that the crew only noticed after the fan pointed it out) and decided he was going to press on me about that for a full 60 second time out. And at one point, I just had to laugh, I couldn't keep it in me any longer....