Funny statements directed to you
 

We have all been called names, as well as been thefocal point of joke. Which statement (whether you ignored it or not), sticks with you the most?

I had one last night that got me thinking to see what others have experienced.

After an obvious travelling violation that the coach disagreed to...
Coach: Where did you get your officiating license, K-Mart?
Me: It was a blue light special.

Not to change the subject, but did you stick him?

That's funny?

As a coach, I asked a ref one time, "Hey, you need to borrow my glasses?" And he said, "No thanks, they're obviously in worse shape than my eyes." I couldn't help but laugh.

Maybe not the most comical statement I have heard, but I did crack a smile.

Last year we were directed by the head of official development in our association to call more, not less, the players will adjust.

Called plenty of fouls and violations during the first half of a 15 year old girls game, foul count was like 7 - 5. A parent stands up as the second half started and yells "hey ref take your glasses off, your seeing too much!"

I had a coach ask me what game was I watching. I told him appearently no the same one you are......he laughed and sat down....

I find it particularly offensive to all of us who got our "licenses" at K-Mart!

How much space ya' got? :rolleyes:

Good one recently - "That's the worst call I've ever seen." My reply, "So, this is your first game?"

After fourth readthrough, figured out you need to edit.

Still my favorite and an oldie that many of you have heard.

Valvano to ref: "Can I get a T for what I'm thinkin?"

Ref: "of course not"

Valvano "Well, I think you suck"

Ref buckles over in laughter.

This is a quote that has been attributed to at least 50 different coaches over the years including about a dozen on this board. Not denigrating your post, just clarifying that originally, it probably wasn't Valvano. Maybe it was Naismith?

I worked with a partner once who, after a complaint by a coach, told the coach, "If learning these rules is too tough for you, why don't you go back to that job you have where you wear a paper hat and ask if that's for here or to go?" :p

How can you stick a coach for making a smart-azz remark if you're doing the exact same thing as him?

I agree 100%. That is why I did not ring him.

Easy. As Mel Brooks said, "It's good to be the king."

http://img396.imageshack.us/img396/2332/image15da.png

I've had that said to me and I told the coach "you shouldn't be so quick to judge, you should see my whole body of work" :D

Kinda dumb, but the fan and I laughed...

Fan: "He didn't *mean* to foul him."

Me: "I didn't mean to call it."

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Also, best story *ever* goes to Brendan (aka BBall_Junkie)...

Local HS coach in year two of two very bad seasons... Coach requests a time out...

Brendan: "What do you want coach?" (Obviously implying 30 or 60-sec timeout)

Coach: "I want the season to be over."

Brendan: (Without missing a beat) "Thirty second time-out!"

LMAO!!!

Linus Van Pelt once said, "A soft answer turneth away wrath," or something like that.

Tonight there was a mass of bodies in the lane, a brief skirmish, and the ball trickled out of bounds. Partner whistled out of bounds. I was right in front of Coach A.

He asked, almost meekly, "That wasn't a foul?"

I answered, "I don't know."

He responded, "You don't know??"

"Right. I don't know."

He stood there with his mouth open.

It's Valvano. John Feinstein tracked down the quote in his book "March to Madness."

I used to coach, the worse thing I ever said to a ref was-

" You were a losey player when you were in high school, You were a lousey coach when you were coaching and NOW You're a lousey referee"

Yeah, I earned that "T"

Worse thing a coach has said to be, or funniest, " You don't know what I want" I had just "T"ed him up and he was still coming after me verbally, I said "coach settle down you don't want a 2nd "T"

I heard the comment years before Valvano became "famous"

Well, as long as we're pinning down the Valvano quip to its correct source, I s'pose we should also point out that Linus Van Pelt was quoting someone else, though I'm not sure anyone knows the exact name of who said it first.

Well, which was he - "losey" or "lousey"? At least he wasn't lousy! Then he would have been bad. ;)

At halftime of a kids game a parent yells, "Hey ref I found your cell phone. It has 5 missed calls on it."

So I go to google to search the quote and there it is.................my post from the other day.

Well, point is it's still a good one proven that it's attributed to as you guess fifty different coaches. I was told it was out of a book

Brandan - whenever I'm in a fast food joint and they ask "Is that for here or to go", I always answer, "It's to go here". Usually they look like a deer in headlights.

http://steelkaleidoscopes.typepad.co...d/deer_370.gif

You have that effect on a lot of people, not just in the fast food places!

Actually, Juulie, that's a picture of Bruce after working three games with ABC. :p

It's a picture of all of us watching Bruce and ABC working together for three games!

I'm trail in two man. Ball going up middle. Ball handler and defense have some contact. I don't really have anything and apparently lead didn't either. He whistled the ball out of bounds.

Offensive Coach: Miss Rita, don't we have SOME kind of foul down there?

Me (knowing the coach): Ooooohhh, maybe player control.

Got the best look from him on that. Next time I was near, he said, "Good one there, Miss Rita."

I smiled.

Rita

Good one Rita! How's your season going? Or going to be?

What? have you worked your way up to night manager? :D

Hah! That's funny.

It should be fine. There's been some interesting politics going on in the organization. On the plus side, all the new recruits from last year are still with us and we've taken on a whole lot of new ones.

On the negative side, I still don't rate high enough to get regular varsity games. I told the assigner that I understand but I don't want to travel three hours round trip, do a JV game, sit through another hour and a half watching the varsity game. In other words, spend four and a half hours to do one game. I realize I will get less variety in schools but it just isn't worth it.

I'm perfectly happy to do the games at the schools that don't appeal to the big dogs. They can have the big shot games if they want them. Even the small schools deserve refs who want to be there and care to do their best.

Hope your season goes well.

Rita

Even the small schools deserve refs who want to be there and care to do their best.
Rita[/QUOTE]

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Uh oh, we have a ref who cares and wants to do a good job! Radical thinking on your part there Rita. By the way, with that philosphy I'd work with you any time!

Yesterday, table forgot to switch the AP arrow...on this particular held ball it should have been V...My partner and I talked about it and the table agreed...I went to the V coach to let him know...he said "You might be right on this one..." I said, "I hope that's not the only one...";)