Funny Dialogue You've Had w/ Player or coaches...

[BBUMP99]

14U USSSA fastpitch world series. Catcher has been griping about the strike zone all day. One particular pitch came in, I balled it, she turns and says
"No f**king way blue thats bulls**t."
"Young lady," (insert ejection mechanic here) "you're done."
Exit catcher. Enter head coach, who, by the way, has already gotten a warning from me for telling me how to umpire "the right way".
"Come on blue, you can't just THROW her out, these are kids..."
"Coach, what exactly are you complaining about?"
"The way you threw her out. These are KIDS blue, come on be a little nicer."
"Coach, I don't need you to tell me my mechanics. If you wanted to ask about WHY I ejected her, then thats one thing, I'll answer that, but don't come out here telling me how to do my job."
"Oh blue come on, thats just not professional."
"Coach, that's enough, we aren't going to discuss this any more."
"Well blue, I mean, if that's how you would throw a kid out, how would you throw a coach out?"
"Like this." (insert ejection mechanic here) "Coach, you're done."

[ChrisSportsFan]

Just Thursday night I was working a couple of men's league games which I'd long ago sworn off ever doing again. One team has a couple of guys who were 1 break away from being an NBA player...you know the type. He sets up in the lane and is there for a slow slow 3 count, catches the ball, fakes, fakes and fakes again, I toot the whistle and everyone freezes and looks at me. I tell him to "look where you are standing", he looks down and the other team immediately knows the call, I tell him "you've been in there a long time so let's go this way". He runs over and and tells me "you can't count the time he was in the lane before he catches the ball".