I have the all time grand champion coaches comment from last week.

HM: Time out
Me: Full or 30
HM: 20
Me: to Bench: TO, Blue, 30, Coach, (Me winding the clock)
HM: leaving his huddle toward me: I want a 20 not a 30
Me: Coach there are no 20's, only 30's
HM: But I only want a 20.
Me: Coach you may only use 20, but we are giving you 30.

Of course it turned into a "15" after arguing over the length.

What is winding the clock? All I do is signal (point to the timer) to start the clock.

fits right in there with "it's over the back reff, over the back!" Or the classic "watch the reach"

We are supposed to point and circle our hand like a winding motion. When in rome....

Caffeine loaded?
 

Half time, team b down 20, as they leave the floor for the lockerroom, team b coach is staring a whole right through me. So ok, I'll bite, I ask what the matter? He says " Supp, your killing me, you're the reason we're down 20." I reply," Sorry , coach, you are right, I missed all those lay ups and I turned it over 15 times. I'll try to do better in the second half." He smirks and says "very funny."
So I tell him," Coach , you should back off the caffeine before the game, it's not healthy." He actually chuckled and when he returned he apologized for being a jerk.

I don't advise that you try this at home, we are professionals!! :)

Re: Caffeine loaded?
 

This isn't as good as the 20 second TO but it was funny.

I had a team run the 4 corners saturday night and killed the last minute and a half in the first and second quarters.

As the coach is walking off I yelled over to him to stop watching espn classic. He asked if I had watched the rerun of the UNC-Marqutte game, which I did. then he deadpans, "Wish I had someone like Phil Ford on this team..."

Last season I was working a boys middle school game. The home team coach called a time out in the first quarter. During the 60 seconds he came over to me to ask "how many time-outs do I get a game?" I explained the rule to him and then walked away chuckling quietly to myself.

Re: Re: Caffeine loaded?
 

Great opportunity for a Davism here: "Yeah, and I wish I had someone like Phil Jackson coaching this team."

I wouldn't do that, he is actually one of the cooler, quiet coaches around the area.

coach to an official as he is walking away at the half, "if you are afraid of the home team you can ride on the bus with us home."

Great line
 

Crew,

That is a great line. I can see one of my former coaches getting that call. The same coach that plead with the officials one night: "C'mon! We're at home, we're supposed to get that call!"

In Fall 1993 I was working a six month contract engineering job in Columbus, Ohio, even though I lived in Toledo, Ohio. During the Thanksgiving Weekend, I officiated a girls' H.S. varsity game at Thomas Worthinton H.S. on Saturday night. But in the morning Thomas Worthington H.S. had a huge eight team boys' H.S. varsity scrimmage with teams from all over the state.

One of the teams was Toledo (Ohio) Scott H.S. which was coached by Ben Williams, a very good coach, and his teams were always in the top ten. Williams's teams always man-to-man pressed from start to finish and this scrimmage was no different. The quarter I officiated with them the Scott players were always a step to late or just weren't quick enough with their hands to make a steal without committing a foul. I must have called six fouls alone on Scott players that quarter. All of the officials, except me, were from Columbus except me. Ben was so upset with all of the fouls being called on his players he said to me: "You can't call those fouls on us, you live in Toledo." I laughed about it, but there is another side to this story. In Ohio, head coaches tell the league assigners which officials are allowed to officiate H.S. jr. varsity and varsity games. To get on league rosters you have to be approved by 100% of the coaches, one coach can black ball you. And Ben would never approve me for the Toledo City Atletic League. Ironic isn't it. He would blackball me and then wanted me to give him favors.

That sucks! Our assignor (along with the rating committee) determines who does varsity. Actually, we have JV, swing, and varsity. Coaches are allowed to "blackball" either 2 or 3 (not sure) officials and they have to give a specific reason.

Mark you should have stayed here in cbus, 1 gets you in, but all need to boot you.