A scene from "A Few Good Refs"

[dahoopref]

The other night I re-watched the movie with Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson in a heated courtroom examination. Then I thought how funny it would be if Cruise played the role of Billy Packer and Nicholson played a NCAA referee:

So I give you Ex-Col. Nathan Jessep - NCAA Tournament Referee:

"Son, we live in a world that has basketball games. And those games have to be officated by men with whistles. Who's gonna do it? You, Billy Packer? You, Clark Kellog? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Vanderbilt and you curse the referees. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: That Vanderbilt's loss and my no-call, while tragic to some, probably saved the game. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves the game.

You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that court. You need me on that court. We use words like advantage/dis-advantage, pivot foot, primary area...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very officiating I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it. I'd prefer you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a whistle and take the court. Either way, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU THINK YOU'RE ENTITLED TO!!!"

Unfortunately, Jessep get's hauled off for that no-call and doesn't advance in the tournament.