A first for me

[DC_Ref12]

So a couple weeks ago I T'ed up a coach in our church league, who later proceeded to jaw-jack at my partner as he left the gym after the game. The guy was a real hoser. Looking back, I really should have tossed him for the way he kept acting even after the T.

So I show up last Saturday, and lo and behold, the minute I walk in the gym, I see this guy walking across the court, making a b-line for me. I start to think "here we go" and I put my mental armor on.

He walks up to me and says "I'm really sorry about last week. I have no excuse for acting like that and I feel really embarrassed. I just want to apologize."

I was stunned. I just looked at him and all I could really say was "That's okay."

He said "No, it's not okay. That's not acceptable behavior."

I told him I appreciated his apology and wished his team luck in their next game, which I reffed later that day. He was very calm, asked me politely about a few calls, but never got out of line. Of course, the difference was that this week, his team won by 20 points, as opposed to the 15 point loss he experienced the week before.

But, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

[jeffpea]

[QUOTE=DC_Ref12]So a couple weeks ago I T'ed up a coach in our church league, who later proceeded to jaw-jack at my partner as he left the gym after the game. The guy was a real hoser. Looking back, I really should have tossed him for the way he kept acting even after the T.

So I show up last Saturday, and lo and behold, the minute I walk in the gym, I see this guy walking across the court, making a b-line for me. I start to think "here we go" and I put my mental armor on.

He walks up to me and says "I'm really sorry about last week. I have no excuse for acting like that and I feel really embarrassed. I just want to apologize."

I was stunned. I just looked at him and all I could really say was "That's okay."

He said "No, it's not okay. That's not acceptable behavior."

QUOTE]

If that happens again, please do not say "that's okay"....because it's not (as he correctly pointed out to you). Simply say "thank you. I appreciate your apology."

If we do not hold others, and ourselves, accountable for upholding the standards of sportsmanship that we all expect, then we can only blame ourselves rather than complain about it later.

[Adam]

Give the man some credit for having the cajones to apoligize face to face.

[DC_Ref12]

Originally Posted by jeffpea

If that happens again, please do not say "that's okay"....because it's not (as he correctly pointed out to you). Simply say "thank you. I appreciate your apology."

If we do not hold others, and ourselves, accountable for upholding the standards of sportsmanship that we all expect, then we can only blame ourselves rather than complain about it later.

Agreed. My momma taught me when I was young that when someone apologizes for something they did wrong, you don't say "that's okay," because it's not okay.

I was honestly just so flabbergasted that it was the first thing that came out of my mouth.

He lost my respect during the first game, but earned it back with his apology. It takes a real man to apologize like that.

[tjones1]

Certainly give him credit, but don't count on this happening everytime.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by tjones1

Certainly give him credit, but don't count on this happening everytime.

That's why credit should be given. And your calendars should be marked. You might even want to tatoo the date on your....

[26 Year Gap]

Originally Posted by Snaqwells

That's why credit should be given. And your calendars should be marked. You might even want to tatoo the date on your....

.....PARTNER.

[fonzzy07]

I'm gonna play devils advocate here and just throw out the idea that maybe he appologized so that you would not "hate" him during the next game. Maybe he is a really good person, but it just does not seem right to me.

[DC_Ref12]

Originally Posted by fonzzy07

I'm gonna play devils advocate here and just throw out the idea that maybe he appologized so that you would not "hate" him during the next game. Maybe he is a really good person, but it just does not seem right to me.

He apologized to my partner, too, who was only filling in that week for someone who couldn't show up. My partner that week doesn't ref on a regular basis. So, no, I really think it was genuine.

[MJT]

Hopefully it was sincere! The true test will be if he continues to behave well in close games and games where they lose. Time will tell, but we will hope for the best.

[Adam]

By apologizing before the game, in the manner he did, with the phrasing he used; he put himself into a box. Sort of like telling the coaches in pregame that we're going to be calling a tight game as far as traveling goes.