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SmokeEater Thu Jan 18, 2007 08:49am

Confronted by Coach after the game
 
Well I finally had to report a coach last night. I T'd one of his players for contantly complaining about a call and he questioned me on the call. I explained there was no place for constant objections to our calls and then he challenged me calling my calls weak. So i said (as I walked away) If this continues Coach I can call another! No problems for the rest of the game, I might also add. I can admit that perhaps the T was a little weak and we could have gotten away with a warning. History has been that warnings don't work at this school, they just escalate the complaints.

After the game I exited the change room and there is the coach waiting for me. He starts in again about the call saying he talked to the player and the player said it was BS as well. I kept walking past him and said "Ok thanks Coach" and never even looked him in the eye. I kept walking right out the door as he said That explains it all and something like we'll see about this.
I called my assignor immediately when I got home to let him know about the confrontation after the game.

One thing I don't like is the Coach was waiting for me and also he would not let it drop after.

Question is, Faced with a situation like this, Does anyone have any other suggestions

PYRef Thu Jan 18, 2007 08:53am

I think you did the right thing. Obviously, this guy's mind wasn't going to be changed and he was probably just looking for you to admit it was a weak call.
Better to keep walking than give him some ammunition against you the next time you work one of their games.

Ignats75 Thu Jan 18, 2007 08:55am

Contacting the assignor was the correct thing to do. If your situation is anything like ours, the assignor meets with all the ADs in the conference once a month to address problems. This would be on the agenda.

Jurassic Referee Thu Jan 18, 2007 09:00am

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmokeEater
I explained there was no place for constant objections to our calls and then he challenged me calling my calls weak. So i said (as I walked away) If this continues Coach I can call another!

Question is, Faced with a situation like this, Does anyone have any other suggestions

Yup, next time give the coach the "T" he deserved when he made the comments about weak calls. That comment is personal and derogatory. That was also the time to stop his nonsense. When you don't accept his challenge, you just foster his impression of you....that he can say what he wants whenever he wants.

Junker Thu Jan 18, 2007 11:27am

It sounds like you handled things just fine. I'm guessing most of us has been through a coach complaining after a game at an inappropriate time. Luckily mine was at a middle school weekend tournament, but it's still not a good spot to be in.

Adam Thu Jan 18, 2007 11:43am

Mine was on the way to the locker room after a freshman boys game. I just told the coach the conversation had no way of being productive, so it was over. He actually accepted that and left.

deecee Thu Jan 18, 2007 11:53am

what usually works for me in these situations -- I call a T on his/her player and if the coach wants to know why and I tell them and they dont want to accept it thats fine -- but I tell them "any more mention of your lack of liking the T will result in me issuing 1 more."

if they bring up any objection and you hear it (DONT HAVE RABBIT EARS AND LOOK FOR IT) but if they do -- hit them with a T. To me it is easy afteri telll a coach you do X and Y will happen and then they do X and expect me to forget Y.

Mark Padgett Thu Jan 18, 2007 12:09pm

Davism #3:

"Coach, I'd love to discuss this with you but I left my English/Jibberish dictionary at home." :D

SmokeEater Thu Jan 18, 2007 12:17pm

I just got a final email from my assignor. He said 2 other officials have had issue with this particular Coach in the past 2 weeks. One went so far as to stand up for himself and supposedly ended up calling the coach a name. You know sticks and stones....
Official is reprimanded and placed on probation (or something like that), Coach gets to continue being a "DICKHEAD"

NOT FAIR!

OHBBREF Thu Jan 18, 2007 12:35pm

Two things -
One it looks like you did the right thing Whack him and move on -
Call the assignor/supervisor and explain. that is the end of it.

Two where were your partners when you were leaving? We always leave as a crew to avoid individual instances like this. So there is always a witness to confirm what happened and /or run interference so these things do not escalate.

To the official on Probation or whatever keep you damn mouth shut and do not stoop to the level of the coach - he win's.

GoodwillRef Thu Jan 18, 2007 12:50pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmokeEater
Well I finally had to report a coach last night. I T'd one of his players for contantly complaining about a call and he questioned me on the call. I explained there was no place for constant objections to our calls and then he challenged me calling my calls weak. So i said (as I walked away) If this continues Coach I can call another! No problems for the rest of the game, I might also add. I can admit that perhaps the T was a little weak and we could have gotten away with a warning. History has been that warnings don't work at this school, they just escalate the complaints.

After the game I exited the change room and there is the coach waiting for me. He starts in again about the call saying he talked to the player and the player said it was BS as well. I kept walking past him and said "Ok thanks Coach" and never even looked him in the eye. I kept walking right out the door as he said That explains it all and something like we'll see about this.
I called my assignor immediately when I got home to let him know about the confrontation after the game.

One thing I don't like is the Coach was waiting for me and also he would not let it drop after.

Question is, Faced with a situation like this, Does anyone have any other suggestions

Where was your partner? Did you guys leave together?

Old School Thu Jan 18, 2007 01:02pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmokeEater
One thing I don't like is the Coach was waiting for me and also he would not let it drop after.

Question is, Faced with a situation like this, Does anyone have any other suggestions

Keep walking like what you did. Best not to engage in any discussions at this point in time because you know you can't win that discussion. Another thing I make a point about in all the leagues I work and assign. Officials should always exit the building together. This is extremely important and I think you just got a taste of it. You should never exit the building by yourself. I don't care what level.

This past summer, after finishing a game on the road. I had asked my partner to walk out with me to my car because it had been a bad game. There was a car load of men (4-deep) waiting for me outside. One of the guys had picked up 2 technicals and I had to eject him. He took it personal. We eyeball each other in the parking lot. If it wasn't for my partner being there, I don't think I would be here talking with you today.

deecee Thu Jan 18, 2007 01:24pm

our luck....




lol jk

SmokeEater Thu Jan 18, 2007 01:50pm

Ok, Ok Don't HyJack the thread picking on poor Old School.

I thought my partner was right with me as we left but it turns out he stoped for some needed relief. We only work 2 to a crew for regular season and then 3 man for Provincial AAAA tournament.

Jurassic Referee Thu Jan 18, 2007 02:11pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmokeEater
I just got a final email from my assignor. He said 2 other officials have had issue with this particular Coach in the past 2 weeks. One went so far as to stand up for himself and supposedly ended up calling the coach a name. You know sticks and stones....
Official is reprimanded and placed on probation (or something like that), Coach gets to continue being a "DICKHEAD"

NOT FAIR!

If someone just rationally and cooly tossed the coach with 2 "T"s for acting like a dickhead, would the assignor have any kind of a problem with that?

REFVA Thu Jan 18, 2007 02:19pm

Quote:

Question is, Faced with a situation like this, Does anyone have any other suggestions
where was your partner? Was he there when you were leaving? One thing that I do with most of my partners we exit the school as a crew for safety. The other is that it is not only your word against the coach but your partner there as a witness. Other than that you did the correct thing in my opinion.

grunewar Thu Jan 18, 2007 04:08pm

Had MS Game last week where the losing home coach came into our locker room after the game to tell us what he thought of our officiating. My senior partner very politely said "coach, you have no business here" and asked him to leave. Coach said we would never work there again. I reported it to my assigner. Our association head contacted the school AD - who said, the coach was young and the AD said he "never met a coach who didn't think a ref missed a call"......

Eastshire Thu Jan 18, 2007 04:29pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by grunewar
Had MS Game last week where the losing home coach came into our locker room after the game to tell us what he thought of our officiating. My senior partner very politely said "coach, you have no business here" and asked him to leave. Coach said we would never work there again. I reported it to my assigner. Our association head contacted the school AD - who said, the coach was young and the AD said he "never met a coach who didn't think a ref missed a call"......

In Kansas this would also be reported directly to the state. And, if you have direct knowledge that the AD said that, I'd report that to the state as well.

Ron Pilo Thu Jan 18, 2007 06:26pm

I T'd a coach once for tell me my partner was terrible.......
He got the seat belt for the rest of the game...

About 5 minutes later I am standing in front of his bench during freethrows. He stands up walks over to me and asks me. "Hey Ron, Are we still friends?"

I told of course we where, you just can't talk about my partner like that.....

After the game he was outside the exit to the locker....He said "I can't believe you called a T on me". with a smile on his face......then he said...."I know you need to stick up for your partner."

He and I actually have a good relationship.......whenever he sees me off the court he makes a point of saying hello......so folks there you go....Not all coaches are D***heads..........

mick Thu Jan 18, 2007 08:14pm

Ron Pilo,
You sneaked back in here rather quietly.
Nice to see you. :)

truerookie Thu Jan 18, 2007 11:16pm

[QUOTE=Ron Pilo]I T'd a coach once for tell me my partner was terrible.......
He got the seat belt for the rest of the game...

About 5 minutes later I am standing in front of his bench during freethrows. He stands up walks over to me and asks me. "Hey Ron, Are we still friends?"

I must be missing something. He gets penalized and then gets up to have a conversation after losing the coaching box. WOW!! I must totally misunderstand Rule 10-5. :confused:

Dan_ref Thu Jan 18, 2007 11:22pm

[QUOTE=truerookie]
Quote:

Originally Posted by Ron Pilo
I T'd a coach once for tell me my partner was terrible.......
He got the seat belt for the rest of the game...

About 5 minutes later I am standing in front of his bench during freethrows. He stands up walks over to me and asks me. "Hey Ron, Are we still friends?"

I must be missing something. He gets penalized and then gets up to have a conversation after losing the coaching box. WOW!! I must totally misunderstand Rule 10-5. :confused:

The coach stood up to essentially apologize and you want to give him his second T?

I agree. There is something you don't understand.

truerookie Fri Jan 19, 2007 09:49am

[QUOTE=Dan_ref]
Quote:

Originally Posted by truerookie

The coach stood up to essentially apologize and you want to give him his second T?

I agree. There is something you don't understand.

I don't believe an apology was stated. 10-5 DOES NOT cover apologies. He can apologize during a time-out if it's that important or after the game.
I am not going to let a coach speak about my partner (s) in a unfavorable fashion and then attempt to smooth it over after realizing he/she is wrong. :(

Jurassic Referee Fri Jan 19, 2007 10:36am

[QUOTE=truerookie]
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dan_ref

I don't believe an apology was stated. 10-5 DOES NOT cover apologies. He can apologize during a time-out if it's that important or after the game.
I am not going to let a coach speak about my partner (s) in a unfavorable fashion and then attempt to smooth it over after realizing he/she is wrong. :(

You already took care of the problem with the "T". The coach wants to forgive and forget. Instead, you're hell bent on creating a brand new problem.

Not a good idea, Rook, not a good idea at all. As Dan_ref said, you don't understand the dynamics of the situation.

truerookie Fri Jan 19, 2007 11:40am

[QUOTE=Jurassic Referee]
Quote:

Originally Posted by truerookie
You already took care of the problem with the "T". The coach wants to forgive and forget. Instead, you're hell bent on creating a brand new problem.

Not a good idea, Rook, not a good idea at all. As Dan_ref said, you don't understand the dynamics of the situation.

I understand the dynamics of the situation very clearly. JMO, the apology can wait tell the end of the game or a time-out.

deecee Fri Jan 19, 2007 11:44am

why -- i would rather get the apology during the game because it means more.

you need thicker skin than that otherwise it doesnt matter how well you call a game you will hit a wall harder than those 2 melons on pamela anderson she calls "those things that hold up my tops"

truerookie Fri Jan 19, 2007 11:47am

I can only do one thing at a time. His apology may break my concentration like those too melons pamela anderson has.:D

Ron Pilo Fri Jan 19, 2007 01:48pm

TruRookie

I guess you needed to be there! He and I have a lot of mutual respect for each other....He knew he was wrong. If he got up to give me a hard time the I have a T, But I guess like I said you needed to be there in the moment.

truerookie Fri Jan 19, 2007 03:36pm

Ron, I knew that I just wanted to be a REBEL!:D

CaliOne Fri Jan 19, 2007 05:18pm

you mentioned at that school it is known that warnings just escalate the problem. I think in a case like that, get the warnings over with in the first minute of the game if you have to, or at least have a quick warning for the slightest "distraction" by the coach, as opposed to a quick T. So that later you can get to the T and the warnings will have already been taken care of.

deecee Fri Jan 19, 2007 05:42pm

or coaches meeting before the game

you: Coach hows it going
coach: good and you
you: coach we know what an azz you are so consider this your warning
coach: 2#$@#$ you

well you warned him now take care of him

CaliOne Fri Jan 19, 2007 05:52pm

lol @ Deecee. I'm gonna try that!!!


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