Dorky coach

[Dan_ref]

Originally Posted by rainmaker

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I'm a little surprised at the responses, here. I never even considered a T for any of this. It was just standard coach garbage.

I don't want to beat this to death (he said as he picked up the ax handle...) but maybe the reason you view this as standard coach garbage is because it falls below your trigger.

But geeze, allow a coach to engage in a rules debate with you? Then lie to you about whether his player checked in or not??

If it works for you fine, just don't want all the boys and girls out there thinking they are thin-skinned headhunters when they stop this stuff from going on in their own games.

[zebraman]

Julie,

When a coach is being so vocal that it is starting to distract me from doing my job, it needs to be addressed early. I sounds to me like this coach was distracting you.

I have gone so far as to say, "Coach, your behavior is starting to distract me. I need you to concentrate on coaching so I can do my job."

If he doesn't comply, it's whacking time, IMO. This sounds like the kind of coach that is just going to be a pain and a distraction all night if it isn't taken care of.

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally Posted by zebraman

Julie,

I have gone so far as to say, "Coach, your behavior is starting to distract me. I need you to concentrate on coaching so I can do my job."

STFU works well also.

[zebraman]

Originally Posted by Jurassic Referee

STFU works well also.

But that's stage 2 right?

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally Posted by zebraman

But that's stage 2 right?

Not necessarily...

[rainmaker]

well, thanks to barryb for understanding my point. Dan and JR, you guys are obviously very good refs for the levels you work, but you just don't understand the lousy girls' teams from the Christian schools very well. Maybe in your next life, you'll be chubby middle-aged housewives who get stuck reffing at the middle-aged levels of bball. get back to me then.

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally Posted by rainmaker

Maybe in your next life, you'll be chubby middle-aged housewives who get stuck reffing at the middle-aged levels of bball. get back to me then.

How do you know that Dan and I aren't both chubby, middle-aged housewives?

We both like to dress in wimmin's clothes.

[M&M Guy]

Originally Posted by rainmaker

well, thanks to barryb for understanding my point. Dan and JR, you guys are obviously very good refs for the levels you work, but you just don't understand the lousy girls' teams from the Christian schools very well. Maybe in your next life, you'll be chubby middle-aged housewives who get stuck reffing at the middle-aged levels of bball. get back to me then.

What?!? They're really NOT middle-aged housewives?!?

(Playing the part of devil's advocate today: M&M Guy) I can think back on many games early in my career where I felt the same way: coaches at that level really are clueless, so I should probably cut them a little more slack. Besides, it was usually the coach or AD at that school that hired me, so if I piss them them off by T'ing them, they probably won't hire me next year. But as I've gone along in my career, I've found that the reason those coaches acted that way was because the other officials (and I) let them. They acted the way they were allowed to act. If I had addressed situations earlier, and more often, the really bad games I had might not have been so bad.

If I walk away from a game wondering if I should've issued a T, then odds are I should have given it. When was the last time you walked away from a game wondering if you shouldn't have given a T, when you did? That's probably a number far less than the previous. I think that's what these middle-aged housewives have been saying - maybe as a group we need to stop worrying about what a coach or AD will think, and just take care of business. Treat them the way you would want to be treated. And if they aren't treating you that same way, then that coach cost their team acouple of FT's and a possession.

[Dan_ref]

Originally Posted by rainmaker

well, thanks to barryb for understanding my point. Dan and JR, you guys are obviously very good refs for the levels you work, but you just don't understand the lousy girls' teams from the Christian schools very well. Maybe in your next life, you'll be chubby middle-aged housewives who get stuck reffing at the middle-aged levels of bball. get back to me then.

That one aint gonna fly.

I spent my time reffing boys and girls teams from the Christian schools, lousy and otherwise...and JH...and cyo...and aau...and other assorted rec leagues. That's where I learned how to deal with coaches.

At some point I decided I wasn't going to be the door mat for some frustrated wannabe who's idea of coaching is to shooot his mouth off whenever things don't go his way.

As I keep saying, coaches are like big dogs. They'll take as much as you are prepared to give them and they'll back off when you make them.

[rainmaker]

Okay, well, I despair of trying to make folks understand. If you'd been there, I really don't think you would be saying I should have T'd him. I guess I did a lousy job of conveying how the conversation went. I never felt that he was out of line, really. He was just being a dork -- thus the title of the thread. I never even remotely considered a T. It just wasn't that bad. But I don't know how to describe the situation other than what I"ve already said. So. I'll just resort to the now universal cop-out...


WHATEVER.....

[cropduster]

Originally Posted by rainmaker

Okay, well, I despair of trying to make folks understand. If you'd been there, I really don't think you would be saying I should have T'd him. I guess I did a lousy job of conveying how the conversation went. I never felt that he was out of line, really. He was just being a dork -- thus the title of the thread. I never even remotely considered a T. It just wasn't that bad. But I don't know how to describe the situation other than what I"ve already said. So. I'll just resort to the now universal cop-out...


WHATEVER.....

[M&M Guy]

Originally Posted by rainmaker

So. I'll just resort to the now universal cop-out...


WHATEVER.....

You forgot to add:

:shrug:, and

You may be right in how things actually happened. I guess I can't say definitively until I see the video. (I'm sure it'll be posted on YouTube shortly...)

I think Lucy and Ethel were just trying to add some things to consider.

[Dan_ref]

Originally Posted by M&M Guy

You forgot to add:

:shrug:, and

You may be right in how things actually happened. I guess I can't say definitively until I see the video. (I'm sure it'll be posted on YouTube shortly...)

I think Lucy and Ethel were just trying to add some things to consider.

Watch it or I'll get my buddy Bent after you.

[Dan_ref]

Originally Posted by rainmaker

Okay, well, I despair of trying to make folks understand. If you'd been there, I really don't think you would be saying I should have T'd him. ..

T him, eject him, stop the game & quietly tell him to coach his team and not you, yell at him to stfu, whatever. You were part of his act. He (as they say these days) owned you. Next time you see him he'll own you again.

Whatever.

[rainmaker]

Originally Posted by Dan_ref

T him, eject him, stop the game & quietly tell him to coach his team and not you, yell at him to stfu, whatever. You were part of his act. He (as they say these days) owned you. Next time you see him he'll own you again.

Whatever.

Okay, fine. If I agree, will you stfu?

Or.... whatever.....