Letter to youth sports officials
 

I ran across this item on a site called Mom's Team. It's an article by sports psychotherapist Dr. Keith Wilson sort of apologizing for bad attitudes exhibited by parents, coaches and players in youth sports.

It goes on to ask that referees be proactive in dealing with these issues.

Among his requests:
Full article at:
http://www.momsteam.com/alpha/featur...fficials.shtml

I thought that was a pretty good article. It was nice to hear a parent admit they don't know the game. As far as the requests they have of officials, most of us try to do that, but I don't think the parent understands their place on the pecking order. Often their games will get newer officials or officials that are working many games in a day. I gotta say I'm a better official at a varsity double header than a weekend tournament when I'm working 7 games in a row.

Please note that the article relates to youth sports or "kiddy" ball. It's certainly not very relevant to any higher level imo. It's certainly not relevant or recommended for any high school level.

Tell the coaches <b>before</b> the game how they will have to talk to you? And the first time that they don't follow your instructions, you will.....? Put all the spectators over by the coach's bench? Heck, no...that wouldn't distract the coach.:rolleyes:

If they <b>really</b> want to improve youth sport's culture, they should just tell the parents to stay home. That'd work.

This all is much easier said then done. If it were this easy we wouldn't have a shortage of officials at every level. If I have to do all this I better get a big pay raise!

Why not just have a 'time out' corner?

I agree with almost all of what the good Dr. writes. I have been saying much of the same for the past 5 years and I don't have a doctorate in sports psych -- not that one is needed to grasp this stuff.

The best thing that he wrote is "Take control of the Whole game." That is what a real referee does. You control the entire environment of play, not just the inbounds part.

He is a bit mistaken in a couple of areas however.

1. For youth soccer, it is far better to have the spectators on the opposite side of the field from both teams. It is even mandated at Youth Regionals and strongly preferred for NFHS play.
Instead he states:
"In order for this to be effective-the parents of the team must be on the same sideline as the coach so that it is clear which team the parent belongs to."

Actually, it doesn't matter which team this person is with. The referee simply dismisses them from the area and ensures that they cannot see the game from their new location. Their punishment is that they cannot watch any further action in the contest. Really why should we care which team this person supports? Should the ref make calls against this team or otherwise penalize them due to the poor behavior of a fan? :rolleyes: The focus should be on dealing with the poor behavior, not who deals with it, and this is best accomplished by getting rid of the offender.

2. As JR posted the idea of explaining to the coaches how they need to communicate with a referee prior to the match is silly. The coach is an adult and should not need to be told to communicate in a respectful manner. When the coach does, the ref should respond to it by answering the question or at least acknowledging the point, but when the coach doesn't behave in a responsible manner the coach should be penalized. Nothing sends a stronger message about what is expected than that. Actions not words work.

PS Don't let Rut see this thread! He doesn't believe that game officials have a positive role to play in the behavior in youth sports.

Wow, I am really in your head.

Maybe I will quote an NCAA rule and you will then go away. ;)

Peace

This article is indeed strictly for youth sports. High school level and above are supposed to have game management that instructs the fans, coaches and players to behave properly and exhibit good sportsmanship.

At the youth basketball level, there are many involved who are just learning the game, and it is helpful in the long run if the officials involved share their knowledge and experience, even though this is outside the normal job description. This enhances the game experience for all involved, including the officials, since the fans get to see that the officials are knowledgeable and on top of things, and usually behave better.

Of course there are some who will never get it, and the next article that site should publish is how to get the youth sports organizers more involved in game management.

With credit to Patrick Roy... I can't hear you. I have my state championship rings in my ears! :)

You did not do it where I live or in the same association.

If you were such a good official, why are you talking about youth sports?

Peace

Oh, we're back to that again. Illinois is the only place in the world that counts. So sorry, but there are 49 other states which have people who work and play.


How nice of you to crap on all youth officials everywhere. :mad:
Perhaps it is because I enjoy giving some time to youngsters. Perhaps I have kids involved the league or a friend's kids are involved and they need a ref. Whatever the reasons are that people officiate youth sports, who the )^%#@ are you to judge them? I personally know three FIFA referees who despite working at the international and domestic professional level continue to officiate local youth soccer games.
These good people are out there doing something positive and you want to put them down. Once again you display your ignorance and lack of class.

I did not say anything about Illinois (or any state for that matter) at all. I just know that you cannot compare your state final opportunities to what I have accomplished or what anyone has accomplished in their respective states. We do not work in the same system or follow the same qualifications to work post-season. You sound like those LL umpires on the baseball site trying to convince everyone that the guys they saw in the LL World Series are just as good as umpires working major college and pro ball.

Nevada, take a chill pill. I think you really need to get out of the hot sun. I work youth football and have worked in a youth league for many years. I also worked youth basketball and some baseball as well over my career. I also have never tried to fool myself into thinking that we are anymore than what we are to these kids than a "shirt." Most officials that work these games do so strictly for the money and could give a damn of much else. I played sports all my life and I cannot think of one time an official played some major role in my life. I could not even tell you how many officials were working our games at one time.

My role models were parents, teachers, my pastor and even a family friend that spent 20+ years in the military and I grew up with and went to school with his son who was my best friend. My girl-friend's oldest brother was Valedictorian at his HS in June and he did not even play sports. If you ask me you are putting too much emphasis on sports and the people in them. Of course sports can be a very important aspect of a kid’s growth, but that goes for any extra-curricular activity. No wonder why we have kids that think they are getting to the NBA or making the NFL with people like you. Maybe Maurice Clarrett had you as a role model. ;)

Peace

Well this whole post hits a real nerve for me as I am very much into youth sports for this very reason. Allot of parents are real idiots and I have to deal with them every year because a new crop will start with their little Jordans every year. I set the tone early in my clinic league (K and 1st grade) that parent behavior WILL be delt with and usually by 3rd grade most problems have been weeded out.

We have a board member at every gym during every game and they are responsible for game management. The officals are there to instruct and officiate not deal with parents. Thats my job as president of the league and I take it very seriously. At over 50 teams and 600 kids it is a constant challange to deal with parents without just telling them to grow up and get a life! But I treat everyone the same and fairly and over the years have gotten a reputation as being that way. Most of the time I just listen to their problems and that will do the trick.

To say that youth officals are there just for the money is a joke. All of my officals are registered and all but two are school coaches in the middle school or freshman level. They are there to promote our townships program and try to make our program better. They get paid sure...but I honestly think they would be there even if they weren't. I do what I do because of the kids and our program and put countless hours into running it and I don't get paid or even have a kid in the league...so why do I do it! So to make a blanket statement like that is just ignorant!

To say kids don't look up to sports volunteers is a joke also. Coaches always have an impact on kids as a role model and their behavior anytime they are around the kids is highly scrutinized. You act like role model or your gone...its that simple! For those of you who actually played youth sports tell me you can't name every coach you ever had...I rest my case. No you don't remember every game or its outcome and you sure don't remember any offical's but the coaches you do. So I hold them to a higher standard.

To say officals at the youth level aren't just as good and dedicated is also just ignorant. Believe it or not allot of officals like to do youth games because its fun and gives them a chance to interact with todays kids.

You are right...you can't compare state finals you officiate (I bow down to your presence)to a youth program because I actually have a positive impact in our community...and lets face it...you don't!

Excellent post imo, Euby. Too bad all league administrators don't have their heads screwed on straight like you do. The problem is that there are a lot of leagues that aren't administered as well as your's is.

Keep up the good fight.

As one who is involved with youth sports, I believe there are many very qualified officials who only officiated youth sports for a variety of reasons (not for the money), one being that their regular job and or family does not permit them the time to officiated anything but youth sports during weekends. I myself could not work anything except youth sports for a number of years due to the amount of travel required from my day job. About 5-6 years ago, this changed and allowed me the jump in the fray of HS BB. I feel very fortunate that I was given the opportunity to jump into HS BB and now have the passion to work hard and be given the opportunity to be assigned higher level games. Every year I have been my schedule has included a larger percentage of varsity level games and would hope within the next 2 seasons to make the playoff list. This does not make me any better that "youth officials". I know that working all those "youth games" prepared me to take the next level. I have tremendous respect for those youth officials because they expose themselves to more explosive situation than we will ever see. They rarely have game site administrators and deal coaches and parents think that they only reason they are working there teams or child's games is for revenge. Let's give thanks to those youth officials because if they do there job right, it will make our job that much easier when these players make it to high school!

I didn't mean to go off on a long tirade but as you can tell I get alittle erked when youth volunteers get bashed.

Anyway there is one thing that should be mentioned that I have noticed is the difference between the youth leagues and HS aged games.

Youth officals need to be very careful not to drop into youth type situations when doing the higher level games. It can and does happen...for example.

Lets say at the third grade level you tend to be a little more forgiving in the 3second, travels, etc because you are in a learning enviorment and when you do 8 games in one day you tend to be alittle more lax in the mechanics due to fatigue.

Its very easy to develope bad habits and hard to break once you have them. An offical who does both types of games have to be very diligent in there separation of the two "types".

If they do not want to get bashed, then they should run their leagues better. It is not like people here or anywhere has not formed opinions on youth sports based on what they hear. Most officials that cannot stand youth sports and leagues are based on their personal experiences. Then it does not help when you have coaches that behave in such a way that are suspect at best. Remember there was a football coach just a few weeks ago that assaulted a child during a game because all because he felt "his" child was hit late on a play. So do not make it sound like all of these opinions about youth sports are in a vacuum and no one has knowledge of some pretty bad situations.

This can happen in Men's Leagues too.

If it bothers you the attitudes of these leagues, then you need to go around the country and change the way leagues are run all over the country. The football league that I have worked for about 3 years and will work some this fall had many internal problems with the board and when they used specific rules that were outside of any rulebook, the league would give conflicting information to their coaches and the officials. Every week would be a fight over striper rules or procedures that were essential to playing the games fairly. I was never alone in my experiences and this is why many guys would quit officiating all together because of some of these very bad situations they were put into working youth sports. Youth sports is where many start on some level and this is why most officials leave these leagues when they get more HS games or they break into college ball.

Peace

Jrutledge....I am making no excuses for other leagues just my own. Not every league falls into the catagory you would like to put us all in.

Just because I see several really bad officals every year I don't automatically say all officals are bad. I'm not that narrow minded!

There are no perfect leagues...or perfect officals but if you strive to be the best you can be thats all anyone can do.

If a person is that unhappy officiating at any level then they need to move on because that type of attitude is like a cancer and will spred....all the way down to the kids.

Its easy to sit back and say this isn't right or that isn't right but unless you roll up your sleeves and get in there and try to make a change...nothing will.

Thats why I'm here...remember...to do things the right way and make a difference for the positive.

I did not put all leagues into any category. I said that many opinions about these leagues are formed by officials all over the country. The assault I referenced did not happen in a league that I have worked. As a matter of fact I have never personally witnessed an assault at the youth level. But when you read many of these stories of coaches assaulting officials and players, 9 times out of 10 it takes place at a youth league and with some parent acting out of control. If that bothers you that many point that out, not sure what to tell you.

Can you find anywhere in this post where someone made that comment?

Did someone say there were perfect leagues anywhere? Or did someone say they expected perfection in leagues?

I already know many officials that do not work those leagues Just because we talk here about these leagues and the coaches and parents, has nothing to do with the kids or our opinion about the kids. Youth leagues are ruined by adults who feel their kids are the "next coming" of what ever superstar that plays the game. It is sad when the kids are apologizing for the behavior of the adults or show how embarrassed they are when their parents are yelling at them for every single play.

I can tell that this is an emotional (too emotional if you ask me) thing for you and you feel that everyone should feel that "youth sports" are where it is at. When my associations try to get officials for those leagues, it is always for the officials to "make money" and to give younger officials experience seeing plays and dealing with situations. I have never heard anything about "giving back" or volunteerism as the mission for these leagues. If volunteerism was a major focus then people would drive all over the city to work these leagues. Considering that even the Little League Baseball Leagues that I have been round pay the officials money (if they did not they would have a very hard time getting any officials).

You will never change my opinion or anyone's opinion about youth sports just because you think they have a higher focus. We used to play sports in my back yard and everyone that played did not feel cheated from the contact with the adults or officials that were not around to work those games.

Peace

What I've always noticed in youth sports is : "the younger the player, the dumber the parent."

I dunno. I have watched several parents in my area for years. And as their kids have grown up, they have not grown smarter.

As a ref who originally started working youth/CYO ball in my area, I appreciate the time the coaches/parents/administrators/officials put into the league.

However, after working high school ball for the past 4 years and continuing to work the youth leagues, I have realized what a difficult environment youth leagues are to work in.

The kids are 99% of the time not the problem. The majority of the time it's either over zealous parents or inexperienced/uninformed coaches. The article is good but our league here in the Bay Area has code of conduct rules for players/coaches/spectators. The league also has the Positive Coaching Alliance come in for talks with all coaches.

Has it helped? The talks have only gone on for 2 years so it's debatable if there's been any effect yet. Hopefully, eventually coaches and parents will realize that sports are for kids and let them enjoy the experience.

I will continue to ref the league (at least for a while longer) because it's additional work for me. I started a new job 4 months ago and my high school schedule will likely be....VERY LIGHT this coming season.

I work two or three different youth leagues both during the season and the off-season. I think for the most part, referees do have a positive effect on the kids. Most of these kids remember us when they get to school ball. Many of them see me around town, the mall, whatever, and they always come by and just say hi. If you care about kids and enjoy kids, then you should work youth leagues. If not, you shouldn't. It's all about the kids and that outweighs the idiot parents for me. We are there as much to teach and coach as we are to referee. When you see a kid who couldn't dribble the ball the first time you met him or her and by the end of the year, the kid is playing fairly well and having fun...then it's worth it to me.

Dave...you need a job?:D

Dave30,

Yeah, I like the kids too. I played in the CYO youth league and started my reffing career with them. So the league has been very good to me and that's why I still do it.

I'm not sure where you're located, but at least in San Francisco, the schools in the CYO league have some dinky old gyms that are really "close quarters". Specator seating is literally on top of the players and refs.

It's almost impossible to avoid contact with fans/parents/etc and sometimes hard to tune out since they're right on top of you. I'm usually pretty relaxed person, but when I ref, I just put a scowl on my "face". I hope that scares the parents away. :)

How do you run the court with a spectator literally sitting on you? :confused:

Have you seen the size of this guy's thighs? He could easily carry two spectators! :D

He didn't say spectators, he said specators.

btw...you're pretty quick with that edit button, aintchya?

:cool: