Communication Skills to Coaches & Players.
 

Well, this is actually a general question. Sometimes we need to communicate with the coaches & the players though there's no such title or term on the rule book & mechanics. I once read the FIBA - Referee & Players' Relationship, that tells me a ref should always be neutral & kind, but his "game call" & "game voice" should be absolute. The most impressive thing is that it says "the game is not a rules clinic, so if it's necessary to explain a call, do that as brief as possible."
So, I'd like to learn from you guys how to be a sensible ref who can communicate with the coaches & players. And I hope you could give me some examples, thanks. :)

To coaches, there's tons and tons of stuff on this board already, including examples of what works and what doesn't.

The question about communicating with players is a little different, though. My general rule is to say nothing except under two conditions, 1) it might prevent problems, or 2) to respond to a reasonable player question.

Examples of the first are, "Clear the key!" near the beginning of a game; "Hands off!"; "Cool down, I'll take care of it"; and so forth.

For number two, I define a reasonable question as one that is actually requesting real information, and is asked at a good time. "What was that foul for?" "She pushed in the back".

Of course, anytime there's a chance to say something pleasant or encouraging, I do that, although not usually very loudly. "Good shot!" "Cute socks!" Stuff like that. I suppose "Cute socks" isn't a very good example. It wouldn't go over very well with about half of the players in the world.

Great suggestions, thank you. Yes, I respond the reasonable players too especially they're in kind & respectful acts. To those who're ridiculous, impolite or something, I will very likely give them a warning or just skip it. In tough problems like to-do-fight, I(and my partners) will try our best to control the situation like "easy man, we all don't wanna see the game like this, so we gotta go on playing a nice game!". But anyway, I just don't have enough chances like this so I just wanna learn from you guys about these situations.

I am the opposite and am a firm believer in talking. Even if I am talking aloud to myself.

I am honest with them and if they ask a question I give them the best answer I can. But I also like to talk to them and initiate the conversation. I like talking with the players. I want to let them know I am there. I find that words of encouragement to players on both teams, at both ends of the court, can really help a game and diffuse intense situations quickly.

When I am administering the free throws you will always find me saying things like "great hustle gentlemen" or "keep up the hard work guys". And if there is a loose ball and a lot of hustle I will always be encouraging the players on their hard work of getting on the floor. A lot of times, kids have the persona that refs are only blowing the whistle when they do something wrong (i.e. foul, violation, etc) why can't they see us from the other side too? The side where we can encourage them for their hard work.

I have been to a lot of camps, and I have never been docked for the way I talk to players. In fact, most of the time I am praised.

Talking to people, any person, is a gift. Some people have it and some people don't. It is however, one of those gifts, that after time, anyone can possess. Just remember not to rush what you want to say, take your time and say it. Be polite and expect nothing less in return. Especially with players and coaches. I observed a game last year where a coach was upset with an official, he wasn't yelling. But as soon as the referee turned and yelled for him to "shut up" he started yelling back! If the referee had only calmly asked the coach to return to his box or even just went on with the game, the whole problem could have been avoided.

Also remember not to single out players. If you are saying something loud enough for everyone to hear, it should be addressed to everyone (i.e. "good work gentlemen" as apposed to "good rebound 23"). Singling out players leads to many problems. If you have something that only that player should hear, then pull them aside and whisper it.

One last point I want to mention, why do we have this thing where officials walk over to their partners and tell them "this coach has been warned"? You fight your own battles and I will fight mine. Just because you have a problem with this coach doesn't mean I should too, and if he was warned by you, he wasn't by me. I understand that we should be "uniform" but not in this case. If you want to T the coach up, then go ahead and do it, but don't expect me to T the coach up because the first thing I heard him say based on you telling me he was "warned". Fight your own battles when it comes to coaches!

Good luck in talking to your players and coaches, Luis. You will get the gift, if you don't already have it.

1) <b>Initiate</b> conversations? Without a real reason for doing so? Well, if that works for you, good luck to you. Personally, I think that's absolutely terrible advice. Imo, the last thing in the world that the players and coaches want to do out there is form a meaningful relationship with an official. They just want to play the game without someone breaking their concentration with meaningless chit-chat. You can be positive and approachable out there without sucking up to players and coaches, which is what you are basically advocating. Initiating dialogue for game management reasons is fine; being a cheerleader isn't. Just do your job well as an official; that'll get you the acceptance that you're looking for.

2) Well, that's kinda confusing. <b>Of course</b> we only only blow our whistles when someone does something wrong. That's why we're out there, isn't it?:confused: Why would we blow our whistles when they do something right? I hate to say it, but I think that you might be wearing the wrong uniform; it sounds like a cheerleader's outfit might be more appropriate. I also hate to tell you, but the first call that you make that someone doesn't agree with, you're gonna be just a regular ol' official azzhole again instead of Doctor Phil.

3) Well........forget it. I don't think that you'd get it anyway, and you sureasheck aren't gonna agree with me. I don't have to work with you anyway, so I don't have to worry about my back.

Thank you very much, Paul. I think you're just gonna be a FIBA ref, haa! Cuz you meet every points of Players-Referee Relationship. Yes, sometimes I will praise or encourage some player to play, that's really good advice! You're quite optimisic and confident about the game, I really appreciate it.

99, I was with you on everything you posted up until this:rolleyes:
We are a crew and if I let you know a coach has been warned then I should be able to count on your support. First of all, I'm not coming all the way over to you to let you know this. (S)he's going to know I let my partners know (s)he's been warned. You may not know why at that time but you'd better have my back or we've got problems. Possibly, coach is attempting a divide and conquer and I'm letting em know we ain't going there tonight. Maybe they've been questioning/complaining about YOUR calls. If I warn em for that and then you don't support.....you see what I'm saying?

O99
Wow, alot of comments on this, where to start? Let us know when you start to referee games for the players and not so you can be the show.

I've worked with excellent officials with your point of view. They usually don't last long because the spotlight they've drawn to themselves only magnifies the attitude and it alienates them from most of the officials, players, and coaches they deal/work with. Ah screw it....

Communicating with coaches and players are a personal endeavor. Not all of us are going to handle situations the same, and all of us are not going to use the same tactics and they will work. I know guys that talk all the time and that works for them. I know guys that say nothing and that works equally as well. Also game situation and the types of coaches and players you deal with can change from game to game and you might have to handle those situations differently based on what you are faced at that specific time.

Peace

Think differently about communication if its a dead ball/ Live ball situation.

Good: Quick, clear personal info to player or coach during a break.
Bad: any dialoge with a player or coach while running down the court.

Recall your team captains. Make a point to talk to them as you expressed during pre-game that you would.

Don't avoid a coach, listen, nod and accept their constructive comments or criticism's. During Free throws the NFHS is putting you right on top of them for a reason.

Don't show emotion. Players and coachs are emotional and in a competitive situation. Inform and answer. Don't discuss and debate.

Alright, upon further reflection.

I think that we all agree that communication is a very integral part of officiating. We all must find what works for us and recognize that not every situation is the same. I have been involved in games where I have been asked by a player about a particular call and a coach has said "don't talk to the referees," or "don't talk to my players." Some coaches just don't want us to make comments to them because they don't want the added distraction, they prefer to just make their comments that aren't really directed at the officials. As officials we need to be aware of things like this.

Pertaining to the comment about warnings, I just have to say that we will disagree on this point. Communicating with partners about such things can help. What you choose to do with this information is your business.

A coach cannot dictate if and when you talk to his/her players. The coach might not like it, but if I am talking to players there is a reason. I also want to cover my behind when I make a call that I have likely warned a player or made him/her aware that their actions might result in a foul or violation. I have had coaches not want the officials to talk to their players, but I still have a job to do.

Peace

Huh? Is the officials crew not a team? Are we not there to work together and support each other? If the coach is riding my partner, should I not know about it so I can use my communication skills to get the coach off my partner and back to coaching? (and yes, give him a T if necessary). Your comments amaze me.:confused: Coaches know when the crew is not a team working together and it makes things much more difficult.

Z

You beat me to it, Z, I was going to tell O99 the same thing. We are a crew, not 3 individual people out there. If a coach says something to my partner that deserves a warning, (s)he has said it to me as well. If I don't know a warning has been issued, I would be letting the coach get away with a "free" comment to me. Ideally the warning should happen so everyone can see it, but sometimes it isn't possible. In that case, I <B>want</B> to know when the coach has been warned so they don't get extra leeway from the rest. That wouldn't be consistent as a crew.

Chris, I appreciate your comments, especially with your attempt to make sure I know where you are coming from, rather than just attacking like most other people on this site. Thankfully, half of these guys I will never meet, nor do I ever want to meet.

I can understand where many people would disagree with me on this point. I am a team player, I believe of the importance of having a team working together to ensure a good game. You are very rarely going to see a D1 referee fight someone else's battle. If a coach is talking to me about your call that happened 4 minutes ago, and you warned him... sure I will take that into consideration. But, if the coach is talking to me about a call I just made, that just occurred, I could careless about the warning you issued to him.

Some people will never understand my philosophy on this, but it works for me and I don't go around handing out T's left and right. There are a lot of D1 officials who have this same understanding and it works in the big leauges.

Thanks again Chris. I hope you understand what I am trying to say.

First of all, I never said I suck up to the players or the coaches.

Second of all, I am not a cheerleader, I am a referee!

Thirdly, I never said we blow our whistles for them doing something right.

Did you read anything I wrote? The benefit of talking to the players during the game (that I have found) is when I do make that call that they may disagree with me on, they don't go overboard in their displeasure. In fact, they usually come up and talk to me - they ask "why did you make that call?" or "why didn't I get that call?" - rather than yelling.

I am not sure what level games you referee, but I have worked my way up from the youth level to college with the same philosophy. I have traveled as far away as Las Vegas for games (from NH that is a long ways). I have done games in front of Lute Olson among many other great coaches. My philosophy works and that's all that matters. Thanks for disagreeing with me.

The level of games that I work or haven't worked isn't relevant as far as I'm concerned. What I post here is. Just take it fwiw; you don't have to agree with it. I don't believe in posting my resume, and I certainly don't expect everyone to agree with me. Apparently you do believe in posting your resume, thinking that it might mean something. Sorry. Unfortunately, your resume doesn't really mean much to me at at all.

Iow, I didn't expect you to agree with me anyway, right from the git-go

Btw, since you did post your resume, when you said you're working "college", you do mean at the D1 level, don't you? What D1 conferences are you currently working in? Just wondering...

Hey, if you think being Mr. Nice Guy means that you ain't gonna get crap from players, then you're living in a dream world imo. But, hey, if it works for <b>you</b>, great. Again imo though, any official is only as good as his last call...and if that last call went against a team, right or wrong, then all the sucking around and cheerleading in the world ain't gonna help you.

It is too bad though that you don't show the same concern for your partners that you do for the players/coaches.

Again, jmo, like it or not.

Let me apologize for attacking you. I thought I was just giving my opinion on communication between partners.

I'm 100% sure you feel this way. But here's something to consider: how does it appear to other people? Are other people, who aren't involved in your conversation, 100% sure you aren't sucking up to the players or coaches? How do you know the players really don't think you are sucking up to them? After all, other refs don't talk to them that often. How do you know A1 isn't thinking you're a complete jerk for not commenting on his dunk, when you said, "Nice move" to B2 earlier? Perception may not always be what you think it is.

Talking to players and coaches is an art; not everyone has the ability to pull it off effectively. As you can even see just on this forum, it is difficult to get your point across without someone jumping on it, even though you might actually agree in principle. Sometimes talking to players does help. But I've also seen it backfire many times. So, unless you know for sure your way prevents more problems than it causes, it's best to err on the side of not talking as much. It has been mentioned many times around here that no one can quote silence.

There was a women that went into a specialty shop and was looking at a bag of imported walnuts. The young male clerk came up and asked if he could help. She said, "No thanks, I'm just looking at your nuts." Innocent response, but not exactly what she intended. Just be careful the same thing doesn't happen on the court by talking too much.

I just completely disagree with your first post where you indicated that you don't want a partner telling you when they've warned a coach. Don't we want to have as much information about what is going on in the game as possible?

When a partner tells me that he has warned a coach, that doesn't mean I'm going to go whack the coach if he says another word. It means that the coach has been giving my partner some trouble and I'd like to help alleviate that if possible. With the additional information that my partner just gave me, I might rotate a little different to keep myself in front of that coach for a while. Maybe that will give the coach a chance to get his act together and nothing further will happen.

I'm not going to "fight my partners battle," but I do think it's good info to know that a coach has been on my partner so much that it has warranted a warning.

I've always thought that a "partner protect" technical foul is the best kind (if it came to that) anyway. If I know that the coach is all over my partner, I will start watching that interaction more closely. If a T is warranted later, it sometimes looks less confrontational if it comes from one of the refs who <b>wasn't </b>taking the majority of the heat from the coach.

As far as your Lute Olsen comment, I can only respond with an icon on that one. :rolleyes:

Z

I think you guys are misunderstanding what I mean by "talking to the players".

I don't speak directly to an individual player unless I am answering a question or warning them and at that time I am doing just that. When I said I like talking to the players, I like talking to them as a group. For example, when I am the lead and administering a free throw, I will tell the players "good hustle gentlemen" or when I breaking up a loose ball dive, I will say something like "strong work boys." I very rarely say something to an individual player or team, I try and keep my encouragement comments to all the players on the court. And if the post play is getting rough I will say something like "fella's keep in legal."

So, hopefully you understand, I am not kissing up or sucking up to any players.

I'm in total agreement with this post. I've worked with guys before that would not give me any help after I had warned a coach. I had to take care of business. They chose not to back me up. I really don't care to work with them anymore.

You can take my comment about Lute Olsen however you want you. The intent wasn't to brag about the games, but to show that I am not some idiot and I've worked hard to get there (even though you may think differently).

I have read far more of these posts then I reply. I never like to post here because there is a core group of you who always attack everyone. If the "outsiders" don't say it the way this core group of people would say it then watch out. I came here to learn some new ideas from fellow officials, and I find all I am doing is defending the way I referee, a way that I have found works and has worked for me for many years.

To those of you who show a valid interest in holding a true conversation, thank you. For everyone else...

Get <b>where</b>?

99, Your comment about calling games in front of Lute Olsen could mean you called a pee wee tournament where his grandkid was playing. If your going to drop a name like that in here, you might want to be a little more specific. Did you work an Arizona game? And as you can tell by my number of posts, I'm not one of the "core group" that you are refering to.

Can't you read?

Get to call a HS exposure game in front of Lute Olsen...I wonder how much he paid for the camp?

Hey guys, please do not debate here or something, I don't hope to see that and I'm upset about this. So let's just raise our own comments about COMMUNICATION SKILLS with Players & Coaches. I really appreciate your comments since I learned a lot from you guys, thanks again.

Luis - As you can see, even in this thread, communication skills are very important. In fact, usually a focus of my pre-games is the word "communication". If you look at most pre-games, it's all about how we communicate with partners, both verbally and non-verbally during a game, or how we communicate with our signals and our voices to the table, coaches, players, and fans. Who's got the last second shot? How do I know my partner now has their new primary on a rotation and I can now look off-ball to my new primary? How do I tell my partner(s) where the ball is to be put in play after a foul or violation? How do I tell my partners the coach has been warned? These things can be done through good, crisp signals, body language, or verbally, all forms of communication. Heck, the pre-game itself should be about good communication - everyone should be involved rather than one person lecturing to the rest of the crew.

Official99 - This is a great example of communication. I don't disagree with most of the things you've stated throughout the thread about talking to players. For example, getting in there on jump balls and scrums and using your voice to let them know you're there is a great habit to have. However, I would like to point out the part in red. That was one of the first items pointed out to you (attacked?) as not a good idea. Initiating a <B>conversation</B> with a player or coach, unless there is some overwhelming reason to do so, is not a good idea, especially if the reason is so they can see you're a good guy. That is what some of us were trying to point out. Maybe that wasn't your intent, but that is what you communicated in your first post.

The other issue most of us disagreed with was your comment about not fighting your partner's battles when they come to tell you they've warned a coach. Most of us feel we work as a crew, not as individuals, and we want to know if a partner has warned a coach if it's not obvious. You seem to feel differently, but instead of explaining why you feel that way, or having a conversation about the merits, you just dismiss it as attacking you. You will get a lot of information that isn't useful from this site, and a lot that is. The key for all of us is figuring out what is useful for us. Maybe you feel your skills have taken you a long way, but how do you know these suggestions won't take you further? Just something to think about.

I use this site just like a camp instead of attending camps the summer, I attend this camp daily, I am here to listen and learn. I will take some of the information and incorporate into my game. Other things I will discard for a variety of reason. I will use those things that fit my personality and style. I have had partners who at times almost seem to have a running conversation with coaches during a game. I am more comfortable with short and sharp, for me I need to say it in 6 words or less. I am not saying my way of communicating with a coach is right and my partners is wrong. Short and sharp works for me and keeps my focus on the floor not with a coach. And yes, I will communicate with players on the court. I believe some of it is preventative officiating. If we need to clean up the post, when I am administering a FT I will say let's clean it up on the post. I see no harm in this as I am telling the players they can clean it or I can clean it.

1) I am a coach now (official before) and I love when official are polite, courteous, and act like human beings. Talking with players and coaches is IMO an excellent way to establish relationships. A coach will be much less likely to yell and scream at you if you have a rapport with him/her. My question to you is this....HOW CAN IT HURT?? I don't think anyone mentioned sucking up, only you. Big difference between sucking up and conversation. I agree completely....you do need to do your job well, but where does it say that conversation with player/coaches is or isn't part of your job. Again you refer to things not mentioned before "cheerleading." Saying "great job" or "nice hustle" isn't cheerleading. From the sound of things your the ref that every coach and player hates see come through the gym doors on game night. My guess is that your favorite comment is "Coach, you coach and I'll ref."

I do this all the time. I do this for two reasons. First it lets the players know I am around them during loose ball plays. I want the players to know I am around so nothing funny can happen during dead ball situations. I also do not go out of my way to say things like this. I only say this when a player or two can hear me.

Also think that is made clear, a lot of our communication is non-verbal. When players come yelling or animated, I might just give those players a look and not say a single word. Then go back to what I was doing before.

Not all types of communication are going to work the same way for anyone.

Peace

Nate, good luck with the coach's gig. From your previous posts here, you've certainly made the right choice in giving up officiating. Our avocation obviously wasn't meant for you.

As usual, you don't have a clue what the point being made was. Lemme spell it out for you:
1) Communication is good.
2) Initiating conversations just to cheerlead and to suck around is bad.
3) Throwing your partners under the bus while trying to be Mr. Nice Guy is horrible.

You can be polite, courteous and act like a human being without sticking your nose in where it doesn't belong.

And yes, there is a big difference between sucking up and communicating. Unfortunately, imo Official 99 doesn't know the difference. It looks like you don't either, which really doesn't surprise me.

If you want to disagree with that, hey, knock yourself out.

Again, good luck with the coaching. Wise choice.

JR you continue to show all our members just what a joke you are. Conversation is good. Show me where I said that it isn't. Sucking up..you are the JA who used those words, no one else. Cheerleading, again you and only you. Encouragement yes, cheerleading no. I am positive you know the difference between sucking up and communicating, b/c I am sure you do a lot of SUCKING.
YOU KEEP PULLING THINGS OUT YOUR EAR. Who said anything about sticking your nose where it doesn't belong. Carrying on conversation, at the appropriate time, with players or coaches is only going to gain you their respect. Again, you wouldn't know anything about that. All you know how to do is put other people down.

The change of hobby comes b/c of a holes like you. I got tired of working with them. It's people like you who give the rest of these guys here a bad name.

I just knew there was a reason.

btw, Nate...hitting the cap lock key is usually a good sign you're starting to lose focus. Just sayin. It's the internet version of slamming your beer glass down on the bar, or cutting off that a-hole on the highway.

Not that you-know-who aint an a-hole. Keep hammering away, this is fun!

:D

Official99, this is a great message board. Nearly everyone in here will lend a helping line or two. Most here will tell you when you do/did something wrong and tell you how to improve. Some, not mentioning names (juraassic), will only tell you how stupid you are and NOT fail to mention their perfect ways. Some peoples screenname will give it away...JURASSSSic Ref...that tells you all you need to know right there.
Keep your head up. This is a great place to share your ideas.

http://www.philadelphiapopcorn.com/i...ontdisplay.jpg

Peace

I'm sure you did Dan. Btw, Dan...it could mean that I would like to put an emphasis on the sentence or it could be that I would like to slam my beer glass!!

:D

Again, good luck coaching, Nate. Wise choice. Seriously.

Don't take that as meaningless criticism...it's sorta like me telling you to keep your left hand up cause he's got a nasty right hook.

You're doing a great job, now get back in there!

Tsk, tsk, tsk........

Potty mouth.

Thanks a lot Juraaassssic. I think it was a great opportunity also. Seriously, cut the new guys a break. Present you thoughtful, objective material in a nicer way. Kindness really does go a long way. And good luck with your upcoming season as well. As I am sure you will drive many partners, coaches, players, and fans nuts with you JURASSIC OFFICIATING.

Or he maybe he's got a glass jaw!!!

We'll never know unless you actually hit it!

Now get back in there & let him have it!

Aw, geesh, it's starting to get nice again.

Keep egging him on, Dan - I was getting hungry for some more popcorn...

:D

http://www.philadelphiapopcorn.com/i...ontdisplay.jpg

Here you go. :D

Peace

Looks like it's just a little shouting & a few half-hearted shoves.

I hate when that happens...

:(

Mmmm...thanks!

Ok, guys, get back at it.

Yea, it's like a baseball fight.

Where's a good hockey match when you need one?

I think instead of popcorn, it should have been peanuts. Seems as though the gallery is growing. It's been hit, by the way. Is it broken?? Well you seem to be following very attentively and are quick to jump in so....

Yeah?
http://www.forumspile.com/Post-Can_beat_up_yours.gif

So there.....

LOL. NICE!!

...so...? And?

(I dunno, seems there's no working with this guy. Oh well)

Oh well?? I'll try to do better...

Not anywhere the Black Hawks are playing, fer sure....

Hey! Don't be draggin' me into this mess! Just because I'm sitting back here cheering on the participants doesn't mean I want to be in the middle of it!

It's like slowing down to look at a bad accident - I'm fascinated but that doesn't mean I want to be a part of it.

Gee, that was pretty funny, and it all played out to its natural conclussion before the thread got locked.

Good job guys!!! Way to hustle! Ease up out the pile.

Oh sh!t, I think I just either "sucked up" or "cheerleaded" (or is it "cheerled"?).