Some of my favorite expressions are:

1. coach's hands up in air (field goal is good), mouth wide open, eyes as wide as they can be. Message: Are you gonna call anything my way tonight, butthead?

2. Hands on hips, stare down eyes, light back and forth shaking of the head: You are losing the game for me, ref.

3. Massive eye roll, head and body turn away from me with complete body contorsion into a kneeling position in front of bench: Im going to lose the game.

I had all of these in succession the other night from the losing coach (his players were turnover machines). Only lost by 4 though, to a better team. Any great acting performances from coaches you'd like to share (feel free to include favorite coach's and crowd comments too. One I heard Friday: Did you see that, ref? My reply: See what?

[Edited by lmeadski on Jan 29th, 2006 at 09:43 AM]

From the stands: shot "call the foul" miss, rebound, shot "call the foul" miss, rebound, shot "call the foul" miss, rebound, shot "call the foul" out of bounds "why are you just standing there? Call the foul". (Actual footage from yesterdays game. Sad thing is that this was a V match)

Translation: Our boys cannot make a layup so if you would please call a foul, maybe we can make a freethrow.

The one i love is the coach looking at the scoreboard then saying the fouls are 10-1.

My 2 favorites:

a) a coach that "gets" your first mname and referrs to you by it all game long. "Joe, was that really a foul? Come on Joe - they are killing me. Joe please! Come on Joe - your better than this, Joe"

b) Lead chasing a breakaway on table side. Passing by the coach in full gallop the coach tell's you whats gonnza happen. "He's gonna take the charge", or ,"She's gonna get blocked".

The good ones can time the message right before contact.

Had a good one last night. Coach is standing up yelling "that's a charge." Partner has an OOB. Coach says "Are you gonna call the charge?" Partner says "If this was easy, they would let you do it!" Coach sat down with nothing at all to say.

I had that a couple games ago and his team was TRAILING 9-1 in fouls against. [Think I did #3]

Coach calls a timeout. He says, "Could I talk to you for a minute?"...angry tone... I walk over and the coach says. "My boys can't play with this team, but our fans don't think I'm doing my job so bear with me and let me argue with you for a minute about that last call !"

Had another one, I am reporting a foul on white 44. I hear a coach say, "Foul that #44 out, he is going to hurt somebody!"....I look up and it is 44's coach!

Wow, an honest coach. Way cool!!

My personal favorite is the coach who screams, "And one!" On every shot by his players, even if there's not a defender within 10 yards.

I also have great pity for the players with this coach:
His player tries to take a charge, but doesn't get there in time. Coach yells, "Move your feet!!" I'm thinking, Coach, that's what the foul was for!"

The other night in a sub-V game; A1 has a break away and is bumpled enough to get the call but I pass on it becasue he maintains balance and continues to the hoop and scores. At the time of impact (in front of A's bench)the coach of A is screaming for a foul, after his guy scores I head back down the court and lean over and say to the coach, "I didn't call the foul because he had a breakaway". His response was, "You're thinkin' way ahead of me!" Ah, life's little victories!

The coaches that get this figured out are way ahead of the rest of them. I sometimes will let them know I had the foul if he lost the ball or fell over.

I hate seeing that foul called just as the kid is playing thru the contact and is separating from the D.

Same situation, Varsity girls, A1 gets a steal, B1 grabs her arm as she throws a lead pass to A2 streaking in for a layup. Coach A screams "FOUL!" as A2 is catching the pass and making the layup. I turn after the layup and ask Coach A, "Do you still want this foul, Coach?" He grins, sits, rest of the game with no incidents. His team wins by two, but they couldn't hit a free throw down the stretch.

Last summer I had a varsity team in a summer camp. A player would se a legal screen, and then as the defender went past, the player would stick his butt out and block the defender. I called the foul (illegal screen)and the coach assures me it's legal. It's a "butt screen". One of the better expressions I've heard.

Same thing, except for shot "3 seconds" rebound and shot "3 seconds" and rebound and shot "3 seconds!!!" and score.

Translation: Our boys cannot box out or get a rebound so if you would please call 3 seconds, maybe we can make a game of this.