I am in my 7th year of officiating and have done a number of varsity games in that time. I believe I am at the point where if I wasn't in a new area, 2nd season in Indianapolis, I should be doing full varsity schedule and possibly working in the tournament. Part of the problem is that I am new to the area and couldn't get enough varsity games to qualify to apply for the Boys or Girls tournament.

So I feel my knowledge of the rules and ability to call a game are pretty good and continuously getting better. However, I have been told by my wife and a friend that I appear to be unapproachable when I am on the court. What I mean by that is they say that I have a very serious demeanor about me when I am officiating a game. Now I figure if that is the case and I can become more approachable and seem friendlier to the coaches and players it might help get me more varsity games and become eligible to apply for the tournament.

I would appreciate any thoughts about this or advice on how not to appear so "serious" on the floor.

Do you watch yourself on tape? If not, get taped, sit down with your wife and that friend and ask them to point out instances where you look "serious" and unapproachable. There are probably small things you can change that will improve the situation. For example, do you smile? Do you stand with your arms folded? Do you unconsciously scowl when somebody looks your way or asks a question? Are there mannerisms that might need some softening? Seeing yourself on tape can often help you see what they're seeing.

Smile! Smiling is actually part of my pregame conference with partners. A smile projects confidence, approachability and a love for the game. Smiling at your partners during free-throws towards the end of a white-knuckle finish helps them relax too.

Z

If I were you try to laugh on the court about something. It might soften your look or the harshness in your face. There is a fine line between being intense and been seen as mean or unapproachable. You also do not want to look like you do not take the game seriously either. I think it is something we all could work on to some extent. Facial expressions can give the wrong impression and the right impression. It is also interesting what none officials can see.

Peace

RELAX!!!
 

I had the same problem because I was too focus on the game. So I was told to relax and once I learned this, I believe I am too approachable!!!! LOL!!!

That's a great point. I was at a wedding reception last year and a woman at our table asked me, "Don't you referee in the youth league?" I told her honestly that I used to do a lot of games in that league, but don't work it anymore. She paused and said, "I thought I remembered you. You were an intense ref."

I honestly had no idea if that was a good thing or not. I think she meant it as a compliment, but it made me feel like I'd been giving a bad impression out there.

I know it's hard, but try to relaaaaaaaax. :)

Try talking with the players at appropriate times...during dead balls, etc...tell them "Nice hustle", "Nice work"...whatever...as you talk to them more, they will respond more and then everyone starts smiling...makes you not only look relaxed, but everyone sees you are in control and very approachable.

Glad you brought this up. I have the feeling that I'm generally much too intense on the court and want to loosen up and be more approachable. I'm working on the relaxation / smile technique, but, for the life of me, I have a very difficult time talking to the players. Seems I don't have much, if anything, to say to them, other than to communicate basic information: ("Two shots, fellows...")

Seriously, I often get the sense that my on-court demeanor resembles that of a state trooper asking for a drivers' license and proof of insurance.

Talking to the players just doesn't come naturally or easily to me. Besides "Nice hustle...nice work," what are some other comments you guys make to players to ease the tension?

Desperately seeking help,

Sven

Sounds to me that its how you carry yourself, your court presence. I don't think you have to talk to players to change it. I would video tape yourself, try to let loose a little more on the floor, sounds like you're really tense out there. Video tape is the only wa yyou'll be able to see the problem. It will make it much easier to try to fix.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Sven
[B]In a blowout game, if the losing team takes a timeout and I'm administering when they come back, I might aske the thrower if they just set up their razzle-dazzle play.

Other things I sometimes say are; nice hustle, nice work, good choice (to a kid who could have fouled on a breakaway layup and didn't), shirt tails (followed up with a "you never know who's taking pictures here tonight").

Last night a kid had 6-7 blocks in the first half, he was the thrower to start the second half so I asked him if he was going for the tournament record. He laughed and asked how many does he need.

I think it has to be your personality in order to work, but just talking to the kids and coaches as if you were playing pickup ball without all the cussing and trash talk. Well, ok, so not exactly like pickup ball.

Great question and comments.

Keep your game face on when the clock is running. Learn to turn your radar on and off.

Which of the two guys in Wedding Crashers was playing you in the movie? :)

Hey - demeanor debetter, I always say.

It doesn't have to be just expression and chit chat either. When a kid goes to the floor near you, offer him a hand up. Wait the extra couple seconds to get a kid in the game. If you have to get in a kid's grill a bit, go back a few minutes later and quietly ask, "we okay?" There are little things an official can do to show the kids he's there for them.

I'm gonna play Devil Advocate and say you don't need to change much. My view of approachability is not about demeanor but about reaction. You can look intense and stern, but it's when someone asks you a question or makes a small complaint that approachability comes into play. If you allow petty complaints not to get to you, answer questions and explain things fully, there's no need for you to be yuking it up with the players. I seriously doubt there isn't a place in a community for "that ref who always looks really mean but actually doesn't overreact." I know plenty of officials who look like they're having fun, and are very relaxed, but throw T's and refuse to answer questions after the first sign of dissent.

I would say work more games which will raise your confidence and then you can relax. This used to be my problem, or an excuse to hold me back. Now I'm accused of being so smooth sometimes and told to be louder.

What is so funny? Yes, coaches want to ask us questions but I don't think they want to see officials smailing all of the time. I'm the first one to smile or laugh but most of the time duringa game, they are serious about winning. I don't think they want to see us look like we aren't serious.

Instead of smiling or laughing, I would suggest you just try to get across the point that you are still a human being even though you have on stripes. I think you emotions should be a roller coaster - sometimes nice, sometimes mean, and always fitting the situation.

I don't know what that is but it sounds like it might hurt. ;)

I had a game Saturday night and tried to put to practice some of the techniques my dad and you guys have given. Helped alot that it was a well played game and wasn't very intense early in the game. I was able to talk to a few players that tried to help make a few calls when the ball went OOB and said "Red". When it was obvious that it was white ball and I responded by saying "Nice try but it's still white's". Also a situation where the home team had a player that was very fired up, cheering for his teammates when he came into the game I commented to one of his teammates that he seemed to be a little fired up. And he responed with "That's good.". Those things all happened during the first half.

Second half the game got a little more intense and because of the fact that I had joked and talked with the players earlier helped and made it easier to talk with them to calm them down at intense parts of the game.

One other comment I was able to use was from my Dad and I had a couple of players tuck their shirts in and said to them after that that they make us be fashion police so help us out a little. Got a grin out of one of the players.

The one thing I noticed about being a little more relaxed and hopefully seeming a little more approachable seemed to make the game go a little bit smoother.

At least until my partner had to call an intentional foul and T the coach up twice with under a minute left in the game.

Thanks for the help.

You sound like you know what you are doing, so most of all trust yourself. Coaches are just that coaches, so they will try everything that they can think of to sway you their way.
Its ok to talk to them, be calm, be confident, but most of all be short and to the point. This will build trust in you by the coaches. Professionalizm is of the upmost importance talk to the players and coaches but keep it focused on the game. This should help you in building your reputation as a solid official.