Does anyone know of a link to a list of what the rules difereneces are between FED, NCAA men and women, and the NBA?

I'm not sure how to find out about about the NBA, but in the back of your NFHS rule books there are a couple of pages showing the rule differences between NF, NCAA-M and NCAA-W.

There were couple threads here before that listed lots of NCAA/NBA difference, contributed by Chuck and other posters.

I still remember some:

the end of team control.
pivoting after jump stops.
catch own air balls.
hand-checking.
the frontcourt/backcourt status of the ball when not in player control.
use arms to lock out opponent during free throw(?!)
offensive player go out of bound and back to take advantage.

and other stuff like restrict area, defensive 3 seconds, jump ball vs arrow, etc.

Try this link:
http://www.members.shaw.ca/jazzace/a.../rulediff.html

For the differences between NFHS and NCAA rules, go to the NFHS website, click on "Sports Rules Information" on the left, then click on "basketball". In the column on the left labelled "sports Rules Info", you will see a topic labelled "differences". It's a PDF file.

http://www.nfhs.org/

RefMag publishes thier list of differences, and explanations in the "Rule for Refs" book each year.