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Larks Sun Mar 20, 2005 08:49pm

So, a guy told me about the NBA guys all talking about and / or having to read the book Verbal Judo. Anyone read it? Did it help you with dealing with coaches?

Junker Sun Mar 20, 2005 11:52pm

Verbal judo with coaches? Isn't that kind of like a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent? Seriously though, I'd be interested in hearing more about the book. Us teachers seem to have plenty of reading time in the summer. I'll try to squeeze it in between rounds of golf.

refnrev Mon Mar 21, 2005 12:04am

I read it about three years ago. It was written by a former cop. Did it help? Not that I remember. But a key concept in martial arts is to do the opposite of what your opponent does. For example when your opponent pushes, you pull, and vice-versa to keep him off balance and gain control. This kind of thinking could be helpful in a game situation. You do want to avoid a head to head confrontation that pits will against will between a coach and an official. No one wins in those situations.

canuckrefguy Mon Mar 21, 2005 12:15am

"When my opponent expands, I contract. When he contracts, I expand. When there is an opportunity....I do not hit - it hits all by itself."

- Bruce Lee


Snake~eyes Mon Mar 21, 2005 12:20am

I just picked the book up, I read about it in Referee magazine, NASO edition. Will let you kno what I think when I finish it(start it lol).

bigzilla Mon Mar 21, 2005 12:29am

I read it. It is all about how to defuse arguments...responding in ways that don't throw fuel on the fire. I liked a lot of the info, but remembering it when you are in the heat of an argument is another question.

canuckrefguy Mon Mar 21, 2005 01:05am

Quote:

Originally posted by Bush in 2004
Actually, the official is almost always declared the winner in these situations. Victory is signaled by the sound of the whistle and forming a capital T with 2 hands in front of your torso.
I don't really think of those situations as "victories"


ChrisSportsFan Mon Mar 21, 2005 08:45am

This sounds like a good book for me to read. Usually I mirror the Coach, if he's discussing, I'm discussing. If he's zinging, I'm zinging. I hope page 1 has info on lobbing oral projectiles at the opponents shoes.

smoref Mon Mar 21, 2005 10:51am

At my office we had a 2 day seminar on Verbal Judo. It provided a lot of useful techniques to use for defussing a situation. I think that if you apply some of the tools that the book provides then it can be good. I thought it was very good for my job and officiating but there were some people in my office that thought it was crap.

I attributed a lot of that to "Old Dog new tricks"

DownTownTonyBrown Mon Mar 21, 2005 10:51am

I was just reading the schedule for NASO's annual meeting - held in Salt Lake City, Utah this year - the author of Verbal Judo will be making a presentation about his techniques during the conference.

I have not read the book but have been taught some of the techniques - do the opposite. As the coach/opponent/threat gets excited talk quieter, calmer, slower.

I would expect it to be a good read.

Jurassic Referee Mon Mar 21, 2005 11:04am

Quote:

Originally posted by DownTownTonyBrown

I have not read the book but have been taught some of the techniques - <font color = red>do the opposite</font>. As the coach/opponent/threat gets excited talk quieter, calmer, slower.


And if the coach gets quieter and calmer and talks slower, then we're supposed to get excited and talk louder and faster?

Gotta try that. Sounds good to me. :)


Dan_ref Mon Mar 21, 2005 11:43am


Search for "verbal judo" on amazon produces this list of titles:

1. Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion -- by George J., Ph.D. Thompson, Jerry B. Jenkins; Paperback (Rate it)
Buy new: $10.46 -- Used & new from: $7.32

2. Verbal Judo: Redirecting Behavior With Words -- by George J. Thompson; Paperback (Rate it)
Buy new: $13.90 -- Used & new from: $7.32

3. Tongue Fu! -- by Sam Horn; Paperback (Rate it)
Buy new: $10.46 -- Used & new from: $2.12

4. Verbal Judo: Words As a Force Option -- by George J. Thompson; Paperback (Rate it)
-- Used & new from: $118.95

5. Verbal Judo : Words As a Force Option -- by George J. Thompson; Hardcover (Rate it)
-- Used & new from: $61.95

6. Never Be Lied To Again : How to Get the Truth In 5 Minutes Or Less In Any Conversation Or Situation -- by David J. Lieberman; Paperback (Rate it)
Buy new: $10.46 -- Used & new from: $4.20

7. Judo with Words : An Intelligent Way to Counter Verbal Attacks -- by Barbara Berckhan; Paperback (Rate it)
Buy new: $25.00 -- Used & new from: $25.00

If I order them today I'll be ready to start my AAU season next month.

mj Mon Mar 21, 2005 11:49am

Quote:

Originally posted by DownTownTonyBrown
I was just reading the schedule for NASO's annual meeting - held in Salt Lake City, Utah this year - the author of Verbal Judo will be making a presentation about his techniques during the conference.

I have not read the book but have been taught some of the techniques - do the opposite. As the coach/opponent/threat gets excited talk quieter, calmer, slower.

I would expect it to be a good read.

I went to one of his presentations many years ago. Thompson is an outstanding presenter.

DownTownTonyBrown Mon Mar 21, 2005 12:29pm

Quote:

Originally posted by Jurassic Referee
Quote:

Originally posted by DownTownTonyBrown

I have not read the book but have been taught some of the techniques - <font color = red>do the opposite</font>. As the coach/opponent/threat gets excited talk quieter, calmer, slower.


And if the coach gets quieter and calmer and talks slower, then we're supposed to get excited and talk louder and faster?

Gotta try that. Sounds good to me. :)


You got it, baby! Press the advantage as if moving in for the kill. In an attempt to keep the coach calm, I start most of my games, if I'm up to it, screaming stupid banalities... and just like we think of them, they assume I'm a raving lunatic so they keep their distance and remain relatively quiet. :D

Before the coach has any opportunity to create conflict, start your own!

Snake~eyes Mon Mar 21, 2005 01:07pm

Quote:

Originally posted by ChrisSportsFan
This sounds like a good book for me to read. Usually I mirror the Coach, if he's discussing, I'm discussing. If he's zinging, I'm zinging.
What if he starts acting like a jack@ss


Quote:

Originally posted by Dan_ref

Search for "verbal judo" on amazon produces this list of titles:

1. Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion -- by George J., Ph.D. Thompson, Jerry B. Jenkins; Paperback (Rate it)
Buy new: $10.46 -- Used & new from: $7.32

2. Verbal Judo: Redirecting Behavior With Words -- by George J. Thompson; Paperback (Rate it)
Buy new: $13.90 -- Used & new from: $7.32

3. Tongue Fu! -- by Sam Horn; Paperback (Rate it)
Buy new: $10.46 -- Used & new from: $2.12

4. Verbal Judo: Words As a Force Option -- by George J. Thompson; Paperback (Rate it)
-- Used & new from: $118.95

5. Verbal Judo : Words As a Force Option -- by George J. Thompson; Hardcover (Rate it)
-- Used & new from: $61.95

6. Never Be Lied To Again : How to Get the Truth In 5 Minutes Or Less In Any Conversation Or Situation -- by David J. Lieberman; Paperback (Rate it)
Buy new: $10.46 -- Used & new from: $4.20

7. Judo with Words : An Intelligent Way to Counter Verbal Attacks -- by Barbara Berckhan; Paperback (Rate it)
Buy new: $25.00 -- Used & new from: $25.00

If I order them today I'll be ready to start my AAU season next month.

Dan, the on you want is the first one, I believe the other ones by Thompson are earlier editions..

Jurassic Referee Mon Mar 21, 2005 02:25pm

Quote:

Originally posted by DownTownTonyBrown
[/B]
Press the advantage as if moving in for the kill. In an attempt to keep the coach calm, I start most of my games, if I'm up to it, screaming stupid banalities... and just like we think of them, they assume I'm a raving lunatic so they keep their distance and remain relatively quiet.

Before the coach has any opportunity to create conflict, start your own! [/B][/QUOTE]I think that I read the exact same thing recently from a great philosopher. No, not George J Thompson. I think it was Dogbert IIRR.

stripes Tue Mar 22, 2005 02:13pm

I've read it. It has very helpful techniques for dealing with tough situations. It wasn't that helpful to me because the techniques aren't ones that you can use in the few seconds we get with coaches. I was able to use a couple (using questions and getting the other guy off balance) that have helped.

All in all a good and helpful read.

Back In The Saddle Tue Mar 22, 2005 04:47pm

Quote:

Originally posted by stripes
I've read it. It has very helpful techniques for dealing with tough situations. It wasn't that helpful to me because the techniques aren't ones that you can use in the few seconds we get with coaches. I was able to use a couple (using questions and getting the other guy off balance) that have helped.

All in all a good and helpful read.

You still have a copy of this? Mind if I borrow it?

Mark Padgett Tue Mar 22, 2005 06:01pm

Quote:

Originally posted by Dan_ref

Search for "verbal judo" on amazon produces this list of titles:

1. Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion -- by George J., Ph.D. Thompson, Jerry B. Jenkins; Paperback (Rate it)
Buy new: $10.46 -- Used & new from: $7.32

2. Verbal Judo: Redirecting Behavior With Words -- by George J. Thompson; Paperback (Rate it)
Buy new: $13.90 -- Used & new from: $7.32

3. Tongue Fu! -- by Sam Horn; Paperback (Rate it)
Buy new: $10.46 -- Used & new from: $2.12

4. Verbal Judo: Words As a Force Option -- by George J. Thompson; Paperback (Rate it)
-- Used & new from: $118.95

5. Verbal Judo : Words As a Force Option -- by George J. Thompson; Hardcover (Rate it)
-- Used & new from: $61.95

6. Never Be Lied To Again : How to Get the Truth In 5 Minutes Or Less In Any Conversation Or Situation -- by David J. Lieberman; Paperback (Rate it)
Buy new: $10.46 -- Used & new from: $4.20

7. Judo with Words : An Intelligent Way to Counter Verbal Attacks -- by Barbara Berckhan; Paperback (Rate it)
Buy new: $25.00 -- Used & new from: $25.00

If I order them today I'll be ready to start my AAU season next month.

You forgot to list the book I wrote: "Stupidity For Dummies".

stripes Fri Mar 25, 2005 01:31pm

Quote:

Originally posted by Back In The Saddle
Quote:

Originally posted by stripes
I've read it. It has very helpful techniques for dealing with tough situations. It wasn't that helpful to me because the techniques aren't ones that you can use in the few seconds we get with coaches. I was able to use a couple (using questions and getting the other guy off balance) that have helped.

All in all a good and helpful read.

You still have a copy of this? Mind if I borrow it?

I still have it. As soon as I come accross it as we upack, I'll let you know.

112448 Fri Mar 25, 2005 03:21pm

The book is phenomenal and has many ideas that have helped me become a better official. One main point, that others haven't mentioned, is the importance of listening.

I teach a 3-credit sports officiating class in the PHED at a small, liberal arts university, and use parts of the book in mulitiple lectures. It is particularly useful when we are discussing communication issues.

One thing I've found is that we, officials, (in general) are not always great listeners. The book talks about the importance of active listening AND the importance of the concept of EMPATHY.

I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this book for anyone who wants to become a better official. There's a reason it was required reading for NBA staffers a few summers ago.



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