JV Boys. The game is pretty much a blow out. Visitors are getting beat by 25+. I call a foul on red and it turns out to be his 5th. I notify my partner, the player, the coach (and tell him he has 30 sec to get me a replacement) , then ask the table to start the clock. Fully expecting him to get a sub up and give him a quick talk, I took a position about halfway between the table and center court.
The coach decided to stand there and stare me down. My first reaction was to match him. I did this for a few seconds then decided I didn't want to appear "defiant" so I broke it off. After about 20 seconds he wanted a TO. Told him he could have one after I got a sub.
All that finally worked out. My question is has this ever happened to you and how did you handle it?

Your paratner should be doing the notifications.

I should have qualified my previous response by stating in two whistle your partner should be doing the notifications. I only work two whistle. Not sure how it is done in three.

You did the right thing, it never pays to play this game with them. If you ignore them they usually start to feel stupid just staring at you and break it off.

If not then T them for delay when the horn sounds at 30.

partner has to come in and complete mechanics. although this is tough. i call foul, i report to table, table tells me that's 5, i tell partner #23 has 5, partner goes to coach.

it makes perfect sense to get calling official away from coach, but it feels awkward to complete.

Order:

1. tell coach
2. ask for 30 sec
3. tell player

Don't stare down coach...just look at timer so coach will know you are waiting on the time restrictions. After the 20 sec horn, "Sub please, coach." If he wants to be civil, answer his questions and remind him about his sub. If it goes too far past the whole 30, whack him. However, I have never seen it go that far.

If you think you are going to have trouble that you can't handle, let partner do all of the above.

I have had similar situations. What the coach is trying to do is intimidate you. That is all. Some coaches think that they can scare officials into submitting to their requests. It really is not a big deal. If they want to waste there time looking at me and not coaching their kids that is only going to hurt them. I really do not see what looking at me or other officials accomplishes. If anything you might just let me know you do not want to coach and the minute you open your mouth, I will stick you. I would not T a coach just for staring, but if you are trying to intimidate me, that is not going to go over well with me.

Also understand this is a JV coach. That kind of behavior at the varsity and higher level does not go over very well. Also remember if the coach was that good, he would not be coaching varsity ball very long if this was one of his coaching tactics. Coaches at the lower levels are learning the same. Because if that was the best that coach could do, they would be replaced soon.

Peace

I had the same thing happen in a freshman game last night. He was a first year coach at this school and apparently has an overall attitude problem. The fact was that he couldn't push me around, no matter how much he tried. At one point late in the game, when things were tight, but not going his way, he called a timeout, glared at me for several seconds, and I simply told him to go chat with his team, don't even start in on me. It wouldn't help. Guys like that will have short careers as coaches and unfortunately will have to learn the hard way.

I think the next time I get the stare down from a coach during a TO, I might just point to my wrist (where my watch would be) and smile.

As much as I would be tempted to do that (I'm a smart-aleck by nature), I think I'm learning that we have to be above all that stuff, as much as it might pain us. While it would really be personally satisfying to zing a coach, I think there's a reason we're instructed to just do things calmly and procedurally and at least appear to be above the fray.

Not that I wouldn't loooooooove to make some of these bench jockeys eat it, mind you. I'm just trying very hard to bite my lip and not let stuff get to me. I guess it comes with experience.

A thirty second stare down is disrespectful, and an attempt to show-up the Referee. The whole gym sees it. It is public ridicule. It is not 'nothing'.

It is at least as disrespectful as a verbal comment that only some can hear, but that would earn the coach a T.

This act is a T in the NBA, I believe.

I would have a tough time not issuing a T for this act.

Optional technique
 

While standing there...

1) place your thumb on your nose, fingers straight up, wiggle your fingers.

2) stick out your tongue.

3) turn 180 and wiggle your butt at him

4) run away

"Partner, get us a sub!"
:D

Maybe my partner and I could break into the hokey pokey.

Actually, "rising above it" feels pretty good. In the moment, there is the smug satisfaction that comes with keeping one's cool, and then later at 2 am there are no nightmares, no apologies to compose. The next day, you've got no higher authority to answer to. Two weeks down the road, there is a very pleasant sensation of being mature and responsible, of seeing the bigger picture, of knowing you are the larger of the two people. Not bad stuff!

Many years ago, when I was coaching, I got a T for giving an official "a dirty look" (his own words). No gestures involved here! I classify that as the epitome of paranoia. Heck, I can't help it if I don't have movie star looks!