No luck

John Crow · #1 (**permalink**) Mon Jan 15, 2001, 03:24pm

It seems like I never have any luck. My assigner has never been real happy with me since his kid fouled out of a state championship game that I worked and lost a scholarship. Last week, he assigned me to a JV Girl's Game at the Sisters of Mary Academy. I had lost my best pair of glasses blowing snow the night before. I see real good far away but can't see very well close up. I was changing up and having a smoke when I reached in my bag for my pillbox with the nitroglycerin as I was having a couple small "burners". Nothing unusal before a big game. Anyway, I got confused because I couldn't read the names on the assorted pillboxes too well. I mistakenly put two Viagra's under my tongue. About 10 minutes into the first half, I was administrating a free throw when it happened. I don't remember much 'cause the sudden loss of blood to my brain caused me to faint dead away on my back. According to my partner, several nuns had to be given sedatives to quell the screaming. He was able to drag me into a Custodian's Closet where I hid until the Field House cleared out after the Varsity Game. This might be it. The photo made the front page of our local paper. My assigner has left 14 messages on my answering machine - I haven't had the guts to call him back and my wife was so embarrassed that she went to live with her sister in Iowa.

Mark Padgett · #2 (**permalink**) Mon Jan 15, 2001, 03:27pm

Quote:

Originally posted by John Crow
He was able to drag me into a Custodian's Closet

Did he grab and drag you by the handle?

williebfree · #3 (**permalink**) Mon Jan 15, 2001, 03:32pm

Reader's critique:

Crow has done it again! Another literary work that leaves the reader in tears (resulting from hilarious laughter)

Thanks a Mil!

kevin · #4 (**permalink**) Mon Jan 15, 2001, 04:34pm

Now that's bad luck. But also very funny!.

BktBallRef · #5 (**permalink**) Mon Jan 15, 2001, 05:19pm

This exact same thing happened to me 3 times last week!

Brian Watson · #6 (**permalink**) Tue Jan 16, 2001, 07:24am

A team in the game I worked last night had a play called viagra.

I have NO idea what the coach was thinking on that one.

John Crow · #7 (**permalink**) Tue Jan 16, 2001, 07:33am

Obviously, a "post play".

Huskerblue · #8 (**permalink**) Tue Jan 16, 2001, 08:37am

A high post play

bob jenkins · #9 (**permalink**) Tue Jan 16, 2001, 08:47am

Quote:

Originally posted by Brian Watson
A team in the game I worked last night had a play called viagra.

I have NO idea what the coach was thinking on that one.

Maybe it's a play that makes it hard to score.

BigDave · #10 (**permalink**) Thu Jan 18, 2001, 01:38am

Quote:

Originally posted by Brian Watson
A team in the game I worked last night had a play called viagra.

Probably not a good idea to take a charge when in Viagra mode...

BTW, what mechanic would the ref use? (insert very bad visual here)

Dan_ref · #11 (**permalink**) Mon Jan 22, 2001, 04:50pm

.

Mark Padgett · #12 (**permalink**) Mon Jan 22, 2001, 06:57pm

Do you know what you get when you mix viagra and rogain?

You get hair like Don King.

BktBallRef · #13 (**permalink**) Mon Jan 22, 2001, 10:42pm

Quote:

Originally posted by bob jenkins

Quote:

Originally posted by Brian Watson
A team in the game I worked last night had a play called viagra.

I have NO idea what the coach was thinking on that one.

Maybe it's a play that makes it hard to score.

Actually you have to have a guard who can penetrate, all night long!

Big Sarge · #14 (**permalink**) Tue Jan 23, 2001, 01:12am

I've noticed that when teams run "Viagra" in coed leagues, I always have to call a holding penalty. this is especially true in church leagues.
--------------------------------------Rule 5-3

JoeT · #15 (**permalink**) Tue Jan 23, 2001, 11:12am

Quote:

Originally posted by BigDave

BTW, what mechanic would the ref use? [/B]

I dunno, but he probably wouldn't need to "birddog" his foul calls!