NF announces rule changes for next year

[Mark Padgett]

The NF today announced the basketball rule changes for next season. They are:

1) Coaches must wear muzzles at all times (even at home)
2) The coaching box has been relocated to the school parking lot
3) At halftime, all school bands must play "Louie, Louie" really, really loud
4) All officials are to be given the use of heat massage rocker recliners at halftime, with a massage therapist available at no charge
5) Any player or spectator who, in the opinion of either official, is acting "dorky" will be ejected immediately and made to wash both official's cars in the parking lot
6) Officials are empowered to stop the game for "crowd babe checks"
7) Any player yelling "ball, ball, ball" during the game will be immediately smacked upside the head

BTW - "NF" stands for "Nice Fantasy".