The NF today announced the basketball rule changes for next season. They are:

1) Coaches must wear muzzles at all times (even at home)
2) The coaching box has been relocated to the school parking lot
3) At halftime, all school bands must play "Louie, Louie" really, really loud
4) All officials are to be given the use of heat massage rocker recliners at halftime, with a massage therapist available at no charge
5) Any player or spectator who, in the opinion of either official, is acting "dorky" will be ejected immediately and made to wash both official's cars in the parking lot
6) Officials are empowered to stop the game for "crowd babe checks"
7) Any player yelling "ball, ball, ball" during the game will be immediately smacked upside the head

BTW - "NF" stands for "Nice Fantasy".

The rules committee finally started listning to my suggestions ;)

I actually have an issue with number 6...

with all the people situated in the crowd, I think it should be the responsibility of Game Management to actually parade the potential babes across mid court during quarter breaks....similar to the ring card situation in boxing...

I forgot to mention that Juulie is exempt from number 6.

Perhaps your daughter never told you that some girls call cute guys "babe"s and like to look. I, however, am not a girl, so I'll keep my exemption. Thanks.

Any chance of getting 7(b) - same penalty for yelling "shot?"

It's a harsher penalty - the penalty for yelling "shot" is you get what you asked for.

LMFAO These are much needed rule changes and will definately allow for a more relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere.

What kind of weapon will be used when they yell "shot" Shotgun? Handgun?

How about "AND 1". Every player & fan who says that should be banned.

I had a team who's head coach (and assistants as well) would say that EVERYTIME one of their players made a contested layup; most of the time there was no contact at all! ;)

Hire Larry, Curly and Moe to GIVE them "And-1" on the head!

"Coach, I'm not sure, but I keep thinking your assistant coaches are complaining about me not calling phantom fouls. Just so you know, by rule, only the head coach is allowed to address the officials. I only have one tool for dealing with it, and I'd just as soon avoid it, so I'd appreciate it if you'd help me out."

Coach, I've warned you about controlling your assistant coaches' outbursts. Here is a T. I'm just waiting for one of your assistants to ask for "AND 1". :D

Bazooka.

Anyone yelling "AND 1" will be locked in a closet for 24 hours and made to listen to Dick Vitale tapes with the volume turned all the way up.

This should break anyone of the habit really quick - BABY!