too much fun

[cmathews]

Worked a 4-9 grade boys and girls tournament this weekend. One game was 4th grade super consolation finals (they lost their first two games and got to play each other for other than last place)...anyway typical of 4th grade girls lots of strange things happening some of them cute and comical. Partner and I are having fun, as we all know some of the things that happen are funny. Well we are chuckling at things we see and hear. I am even talking/joking with one of the dads of the eventual losing team. Making it as fun as we can. It is a close game decided by 2 foul shots with 2 seconds left. Sadly one team had to lose again. After the game a parent comes up to us at half court and says "I am not going to comment on your officiating" well we all know what comes next...yep she comments on our officiating. Says we should be more professional. They as fans were appalled that we would be laughing during a game. We told her if we couldn't have fun we wouldn't be doing this...when it stops being fun, we will stop working games...anyway just wanted to share...and hey from no on, no more fun on the court

[Hawks Coach]

It is a fine line between having fun and appearing that you are not taking the game seriously. I didn't see how you acted, so I can't comment. I have seen refs that display levity but maintain a professional demeanor, and I have seen refs go overboard and appear to be goofing around.

It is important in 4th grade ball that everybody keep things in perspective, especially if the game is between two teams that aren't even competitive in that age group. But everybody deserves to see that you do take your job seriously. I am not saying you didn't or don't, but you do have to concern yourself with appearance.

[rainmaker]

Originally posted by cmathews
Says we should be more professional. They as fans were appalled that we would be laughing during a game. We told her if we couldn't have fun we wouldn't be doing this.

I agree that it's important for you to have fun, and to keep some perspective. But in a 4th grade loser-loser game, you also need to recognize that folks are going to be a little touchy. I think it would behoove you to keep the actual chuckling and smiling pretty muted, so that the girls -- and their parents -- don't feel like you're making fun of them. I'm not saying you shouldn't laugh at all, but do have some respect for some pretty big emotions that kids -- and their parents -- don't have a lot of experience dealing with. It's mighty tough on anyone to be 3-times-in-one-day-loser.

[cmathews]

Coach, I agree 100%. It isn't like we were yucking it up, just the occasional chuckle at or smile at what was happening. More so in appreciation for the effort and joy of playing the game at that age than anything else...The other comment we heard was that it was called too tightly...So I don't think that they could really think we weren't taking the game seriously...And of course the comments came from the losing side, so chalk it up to experience I guess LOL

[Edited by cmathews on Mar 22nd, 2004 at 11:46 AM]

[Hawks Coach]

As long as you know that you gave the kids a good game and that they knew you were doing your job, you are fine. If you joke a bit too much with the fans, it can leave the wrong impression. Sounds like sour grapes, but worth reflecting on to think if you could have left the wrong impression.

We see a lot of the same refs when we play leagues hosted by our club and tourneys hosted by our club, etc. I am on very good terms with them, as are many of my parents, who work tables (we ran two tables for 8 hours a day in fall league). Even my players have gotten to know the refs well. So even in 9th grade girls AAU ball, you will see some chuckles and some (very limited) interaction with the crowd. And the refs that do so are also very clearly focused on the game when the game is on.

[rafking]

I also have lots of fun during a game. I do find myself cutting a joke with a player or my partner. However, I have received feedback when after a hard foul with a player hurt laying on the floor, I was seen with the players from both sides with a look that a fan thought I was not showing my concern for the injured player.

So I took the feedback that there is a time for a serious professional appearance and other times when I can show my happy mood.

Confident, professional, but with a cheerful attitude is how I want to be perceived.

[iamaref]

I agree that to smile from time to time is a good thing. And to have fun is certainly important.

HOWEVER...

Remember that many many people take this game VERY VERY seriously. AS do I. And they do not always appreciate a smiling ref. Cuz they don't know you or your personality.. they may assume your just out there having a good ole time.. while there team is getting the **** beat out of them.

I'd say be careful with the smiles, etc... know when and when not too... and at what level you are officiating.

[Hawks Coach]

NBA refs talk to coaches and smile, talk to players and smile. So do NCAA refs, so do HS refs. Not all the time, not every ref, but enough for me to notice it watching games. And they all look very comfortable and professional.

I think that it is important that you maintain a good body posture and professional demeanor, but you don't have to be a stone face. I think it is more about how you carry the rest of your body that people notice and judge you for. Nothing wrong with enjoying yourself, but just beware of body language that sends the wrong message.

[FHSUref]

I definately learned my lesson this year. We were in the 4th quarter, Boys HS Varsity. After a full timeout, the cheerleaders run by me. We hadn't had the first horn yet so I asked them (on their way by) if they were having fun. They all kinda chuckled and said yeah. Then I asked them about one of the players (younger looking kid) and if he was a freshman, to which their reply was again yes.

The next day, one of my co-workers from this town came into the office and asked me what happened at the game. I said nothing. It was a good game. He told me that a few of the parents were ready to call the KSHSAA and turn me in for Harassing the cheerleaders. It is a good thing that my partner was standing right there otherwise, had they went ahead and called KSHSAA, it would have been my word against theirs.

Now, I do not say anything to anyone. Period! Unless it is the coach or captain. I show no expression whether it is a bang bang block/charge or a typical run of the mill traveling violation. Better to be safe than sorry!

[rainmaker]

Originally posted by FHSUref
He told me that a few of the parents were ready to call the KSHSAA and turn me in for Harassing the cheerleaders. It is a good thing that my partner was standing right there otherwise, had they went ahead and called KSHSAA, it would have been my word against theirs.

I hope the cheerleaders' word might have counted for something.... and that they would have told the truth.

[Bart Tyson]

Its too much of anything IF you begin to be noticed.

[LDUB]

Originally posted by FHSUref
I definately learned my lesson this year. We were in the 4th quarter, Boys HS Varsity. After a full timeout, the cheerleaders run by me. We hadn't had the first horn yet so I asked them (on their way by) if they were having fun. They all kinda chuckled and said yeah. Then I asked them about one of the players (younger looking kid) and if he was a freshman, to which their reply was again yes.

The next day, one of my co-workers from this town came into the office and asked me what happened at the game. I said nothing. It was a good game. He told me that a few of the parents were ready to call the KSHSAA and turn me in for Harassing the cheerleaders. It is a good thing that my partner was standing right there otherwise, had they went ahead and called KSHSAA, it would have been my word against theirs.

Don't you just hate those people? What kind of an idiot would try to get someone else in troulbe for nothing? There is something wrong with those people.