In a youth game today an irate father yelled at me because I didn't call a travel for the 100th time on the opposing 5th grade girls team. The score was 7-5 in the 3rd quarter. After a couple of How-can-you-not-see-that and You-have-to-call-that comments, he bellowed, "You're terrible."
I replied, "Yeah, I know, that's why they put me on the game with the two worst teams." ;)
He didn't have any other helpful officiating suggestions the remainder of the game.

:(

Could have told him "that's why the gave me the game with the worst parents." No need to denegrate the girls here.

In the CYO league i ref in, we have way too much power. I would've either thrown him out for that, or handed him my whistle and asked him to show me how its done ;) j/k. I probably would've given him a warning earlier on, and then thrown him out for this comment.

No need to insult the players
 

NevadaRef,

I'm sure you were sick of listening to that parent but was it really necessary to insult the teams by your comment? It seems that instead of being above that parent you sunk to his level by your comment. A shameful act.

Congratulations coach on finally making a real contribution to this board.

I agree 100%.

And that's three weeks into Lent when a lot of folks have given up on the resolutions. Great job, bballcoach!

It took him 3 months for one positive comment, i wonder how long we'll have to wait for the next one ;)

Perhaps there is some misunderstanding here, but my insult was clearly intended for the parent who is living vicariously through his little girl. I'm sure he thinks that he is Mr. Wonderful and therefore his kid must be fantastic too. By knocking the playing ability of his kid, I was taking a shot at him. He needed to be brought back down to earth, and reminded why we are here--to have a little fun. None of us in that gym were going to the NBA.
I find it strange that parents expect top level officiating for games between 5th graders.


Afterall, I said it to the parent group out of earshot of the kids!

[Edited by Nevadaref on Mar 13th, 2004 at 11:46 PM]

I wish i had the balls to do what you did, it sounds like something i would say. But, i'm too scared that it might get back to the big cheeses in my association and it could be harmful to my career so i don't. I've been tempted many times to make a smart-a$$ed comment to a parent, but i never do. I know for sure i probably will make a comment sometime in my officiating carreer, probably when i'm old and near retirement.

I wish i had the balls to do what you did, it sounds like something i would say. But, i'm too scared that it might get back to the big cheeses in my association and it could be harmful to my career so i don't. I've been tempted many times to make a smart-a$$ed comment to a parent, but i never do. I know for sure i probably will make a comment sometime in my officiating carreer, probably when i'm old and near retirement.

If ever tempted to make a remark to a parent remember this, they're complaining because it's their nature. And if they're complaining about the calls your making, they'll probably complain about the comment you made to them.

Normally danging a spare whistle with a smitty lanyard in there general direction will do the trick. Heck

A few years ago i forget the teams of the story but i know two of the three officials.....Brad would probably be able to figure out who im talking about...


it was a DII school at the time and it was a pretty full house. The group of fans who were sitting behind one of the goals were really raggin on the officails, so on a timeout one of the offiicals tore off his shirt and whistle balled it up and threw it up into the crowd. The place went quiet and he simply said "here, you do a better job." the kid embarrasing threw the whistle and shirt back down to him.

I usually just dangle the whistle behind me (in rec games) iN high school games I just ignore the suckers unless they get personal.

Youth game. You will hear a lot from parents. If the calls for travel, over the back, etc., get excessive or come from one overly mouthy individual, I do believe you should caution them. If they go after you personally as in this case, I would have them gone. Nip it in the bud.

As for wishing you had the (whatever) to pop off a smart comment to coaches, players or the crowd, I hope you all have the sense not to do it. I personally am not even a fan of the handing whistle or dangling whistle maneuver. It may sound like a funny way of bringing some sanity back to the game, but I think it brings you to a level below where you should be operating. Remember the P-A-C matrix - you have to be the parent/adult when you are on the court.

In my own personal experience, I have seen a mouthy parent have a whistle offered to him. I have seen the same individual cautioned and tossed without a caution, and I felt both of those refs handled the situation better.

I agree Coach. "Silence can't be quoted".

Sorry N-Ref, but nobody's buying it. You wrote, "Yeah, I know, that's why they put me on the game with the two worst teams." Your remark indicated your opinion was that these two teams are terrible.

NEVER make a remark to fans, players or coaches about how bad the teams are in a game you're working. Such remarks are was uncalled for and lowered us to a level below the parent. When you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.