Rec game. Offense takes a shot, then at least 3 offensive players move into the lane to rebound along with defensive players, ball is tipped, batted, bounced off both offense and defense hands, the rim, the backboard for what seemed like forever. My partner calls 3 second violation on the offense. I thought offense needed possession before a 3 second violation occurs, and since no team had possession while the ball was batted around, I say no call?

You are correct, Tom Moe.
At least he called in on the front court team. ;)
Welcome to the forum.
mick

The main point
 

Per NFHS/ Rule 4 Sec 12 Article 3

Team control continues until:
a. The ball is in flight during a try or tap for goal.


Therefore, once the shot is released, the count should stop until team control is re-established.

I'll bet there was more to that game than just a bad three second call.