This challenge was presented today on Car Talk.

http://cartalk.cars.com/Mail/Haus/2003/11.01.html

I think as referees, we have a unique opportunity here, because of our extensive experience with hand signals. I hope you will all submit a suggestion or two. Then check back on this link in a week or two to see the ones they choose to "print". How many of us from this board will be chosen?

Hey, look, I've finally figured out how to post a link!!

The drivers are so bad where I live that there's only one hand signal you really see...

...and it has nothing to do with "go ahead, I yield".

Remember, some years ago, players were required to raise their hand up when a foul was called on them? Well, it was wisely removed and with good reason. Players were no longer given the opportunity to display any rude or angry gestures along with the hand raising. This is probably a more prudent example that the Car Talk (one of my favorite radio shows from my fair state) listener could take from us officials. Also, it is never wise to flag or motion another motorist to "go ahead" at least in Massachusetts.

Mass drivers in general and Boston area drivers in particular are a breed unto themselves.

You will rarely hear this within 100 miles of Haaaaavahd Sqee-ah. If you do hear this understand the meaning to be along the lines of "Go ahead...make my day".
The hand signal for each of these is to point at the "offending" vehicle (every vehicle that you are NOT driving in Boston is to be considered an "offending" vehicle BTW) with the appropriate facial expression. In the first case an expression of utter disgust, hatred and shock is called for, somewhat like what you might make if say the offending driver just urinated on your grandmother's grave. In the second case a bemused grin accompanies the finger point to indicate the meaning. This expression will range up to hilareous laughter, depending on the severety of the problem. For instance, low tire gets a chuckle & a smirk, engine fire on the side of the road gets raucous laughter. If the car problem is imminent - like say some smoke appearing from under the hood, the finger point is accompanied by a wide-eyed smile and a comment such as "Hey Billy, crack open a coupla them bee-ahs willya, let's follow this looo-zah for a while. You don't mind being late for work, doya?"

And don't forget:

Speed up at rotaries.
Signalling is like giving information to the enemy.

Handy tips while on your way to Fenway Pahk to see
No-mah hit a ho-mah (next year).

Especially the ones that have to sit on a phone book to see over the steering wheel. They're the worst.

Traffic laws are just a suggestion.

Nice hat, Chuck.

Believe it or not, I didn't see that one coming. Got a good laugh, tho. :)

A suggestion, huh. I suggest you recall this famous quote from the past:

"It ain't no fun when that iron door snaps closed."



Barney Fife

Bostonian drivers actually need four hands - one for their coffee (Dunkin' Donuts - of course!), one for their copy of the Globe, one for the steering wheel/horn, and the fourth to flip everyone off!