White Flag ...
 

So, this (above) has worked well for me all season long, coaches first complain a little, but relent and get the issues (undershirts, headbands, wristbands) fixed.

Until yesterday. Very small, rural, (very toney) private school, first time there, didn't even know it existed, girls middle school game.

Green jerseys and white jerseys. Lots of different undershirt colors, some legal. Instructed coaches to get it fixed (allowed light gray for white). Both coaches complain ("only middle school, we never did this before", I actually believed them) and they go to instruct their players. I can see that a few players (remember it's girls) on both teams seem be very upset. So, I call both coaches back together and say that I would be willing to compromise and that if any players were very upset they could wear the illegal undershirts.

As one coach is walking away, she says, "Good thing because we were ready to get back on our bus".

Side-note: First period. Sixty second timeout, I'm on the circle. First horn sounds. I state, "First horn". Second horn sounds. Player reports to the table. I tell player that she has to wait. Coach (the "bus" comment coach) hears this, "What? You're doing that too? Now we only have four on the court". Totally exasperated, near the end of my rope, and close to the breaking point, I say, "Bring her in".

Fourth period, partner on endline after whistle. I'm closer to the table and beckon in substitutes, lots of them, two, or three from each team. I keep my hand up until I'm sure that we have five players from each team on the court. I then realize that players on the "White Jersey Team" have both green shorts and white shorts, and the players on the "Green Jersey Team" have on both green shorts and white shorts (it's now very obvious to me that both school have the same school colors, green and white), certainly all 100% perfectly legal. But players on the "White Jersey Team" have both green undershirts and white undershirts, and the players on the "Green Jersey Team" have on both green undershirts and white undershirts. I try to count twice, still not 100% sure, now totally exasperated, near the end of my rope, and close to the breaking point, I bring my hand down and yell to my partner, "Play".

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Rock and a hard place.

There is a good reason for some "fashion" rules.

https://tse3.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.g...=0&w=300&h=300

Sounds like a good opportunity to engage in a game of "Referee Poker"

Winner makes the most outlandish call from the deepest recesses of rules book.

Loser buys drinks after game......

With some of my regular partners, we'll do a "sh*ttiest" call of the game," where loser buys, or has to drink an awful drink of winner's choice. Admittedly, it started as a joke, but now, it actually leads to some really good and relevant post-game discussions, and forces you to drop the ego and really look at calls.

**I only recommend this with guys you know pretty well and you know can take the constructive criticism!

For a couple of years, the good folks at New Belgium thought it would be a good idea to make a "Chocolate Chip Cooke Dough" flavored beer. Vial. Loser drank that the rest of the season-

1) I'm confused by the bolded

2) I wouldn't have let the sub in

3) Can we see a copy of the email you sent to the assignor?

Get In, Get Out, Get Paid ...
 

Not my usual philosophy, even for a middle school game, but it was my philosophy yesterday.

1) Player who was being substituted for was already somewhere on the bench. Yes, we could have located her if I wanted to keep talking to this coach, which I really didn't want to do.

2) I really wish I hadn't let the substitute in but I was frustrated and just wanted to move on. Like quickly pulling off a band aid.

3) This post was basically turned into an email to my interpreter. No major unsporting issues (other than the snarky comments), so no need to inform my assigner. He's got bigger fish to fry.

Can I Pick My Prize ???
 

Once had a punched ball in a varsity game? What do I win? A twenty set volume of the Encyclopedia International? A case of Turtle Wax? A years supply of Rice-A-Roni, the San Francisco Treat?

I'll see your lame punched ball and raise you a TF for failing to return to the court in a timely fashion after a throw-in....(my ace-in-the-hole)

Touche

Tyrone Shoelaces ...
 

Just noticed your signature. Sit right back and enjoy this 1973 Cheech and Chong classic. I actually owned this 45 rpm vinyl record. I may still have it somewhere.

https://youtu.be/DlhWPVJNAOo

Hard To Top That ...
 

Damn. I came close once. Almost called it in a middle school game, backed off and just warned the kid next timeout.

I wonder if anybody will ever call the mythical multiple foul? I don't believe that they actually exist, just seen some fuzzy, grainy, black and white photos.

Multiple foul, lol. I can't wait to read the story about that being called.

With your tagline, I feel like you of all people can probably come up with a few :D

Billy:

Mark, Jr., and I feel you pain with regard to be a fashion policeman at the JrHS level. BUT, I would have taken exception to the Visiting HC's snarky comment. I would have given a Verbal Warning and kept her on a very short leash.

MTD, Sr.

Fast As Lightning (Carl Douglas) ...
 

It was actually the, "What? You're doing that too?", comment in regard to not allowing her substitute to enter that really pissed me off. I just got the hell out of Dodge and back to my trail opposite table position as fast as I could. I knew that if I replied to her snarky comment, that it would only lead to no good. I could see myself sarcastically saying to her, "Alright coach, what other rules do you not want me to enforce today?", and then it would spiral down, out of control, into a flaming crash landing, from there.

https://tse3.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.o...=0&w=300&h=300