T Worthy?
 

I have learned that a complaining coach usually gets a warning first, but personal attacks on your integrity can merit an immediate T.

Freshman Girls, 4:00, few fans. First minute, B1 holding the ball over her head in the FC, directly in front of Coach A. A1 reaches for the ball, and gradually contacts the arms of B1, and eventually displaces her. This took a few seconds. The problem was, just before I whistle for the foul, Coach B says "That's a foul!".
Coach A immediately says to me, softly, "You weren't going to call that until he said something. I need you to call your own game".

Caught me off-guard, I just replied "That had nothing to do with it".

T?

I wouldn't. I would say "I need you to worry about coaching and leave the officiating to us." and walk away.

You can head this off by looking at coach B immediately after the whistle with the "I've got this" look -- and maybe even use those words.

If you have time for a longer talk "If you (or he) yell 'foul' and it isn't, we just play on. But if I blow my whistle and then say 'oops' it's a big deal. So, my whistle will always come after you could say something."

Or, to coach B -- you know, if you keep yelling for the call before I can make it, it looks like you are influencing my call and I might not be able to make it.

We had a coach like this last night. He was always faster than us on the call and of course would call out whether he was right or not. Not loud enough where anyone but the tableside official could hear. I really didn't care and it didn't affect anything.

But I have a line for a coach who thinks he's better than us cause we're slow:

"I know you're faster, coach, but we actually have to be right."

Over the last 2 years I have adopted a more "honest" approach to coaches and I like this line. I had an awful game this past Friday that had about 40 or so fouls.

At some point in the third quarter the HC and one of his assistants said, after a foul, that I was calling a lot and to "let them play". I responded with a very sarcastic line "It was my plan when I left my family at 6PM to blow my whistle this much and officiate such a sloppily played game." I said this while looking at them both.

Would I recommend this line to other officials probably not. But shortly after that the HC complained, again, about a call in a game in which he team was up 40. I told him flat out that I'm done with him and my patience are gone for the remainder of the game. 2 minutes later I have a block charge call that goes against him 80 feet away, he yells something across the court for lowering the shoulder, I T move one, game ends like 4 hours later.

Out of curiosity do others on here get so fed up with a game, like a huge sloppy blowout that you remove all rope for the winning team and their complaining?

I had a coach yell about a 3-second violation (one of 3 I called that season, I think) on one of his late game players when he was up 37.

Of course I was tableside C and was right in front of him. I looked at him, turned and looked at the scoreboard, and looked back at him again. Didn't say a word, might have shaken my head a little bit. Went to the other end of the floor.

Some coaches just can't turn it off. Head a story about a coach who went out of his way to get whacked up 35 earlier this season. Also heard the coach was proud of it, too.

"I need you to coach your players, not me." That's his warning.

Somewhat along those lines, what advice do you have for responding to a coach who repeatedly comments to you about your partner's calls?

I'll be in front of the coach during play and he'll say stuff like "I know that's not your call but you gotta help your partner out." OR "Cmon, PLEASE talk to your partner!"

I usually just ignore it, because it's not like he's asking me a legitimate question.

Not sure if it's a divide & conquer strategy? Like the coach will suck up to one official while putting down the other? (NOTE: I"m SURE there have been times when it was reversed and I was the lead and a coach was complaining to my partner about me:))

Should it just be flat-out ignored?

I wouldn't T for this, I wouldn't even warn the fouling team's coach. I'd let him know that was not the case and then I'd let Team A's coach know that I need him to let me make the calls.

No need to nuke it from orbit at this point.

*This is an interesting question. Coaches have many tactics up their sleeve and that is one of them--the ole "divide and conquer" maneuver (getting you to oppose/question your partner), the non-verbal "whaaat?" look, pre-arranged placement of confederates in the stands to taunt/deride you on calls, etc.
I heard at a camp once that a clinician said to tell coaches "when the other ref transitions/rotates back then ask him why he made that call". However, I found that advice to actually undermine the crew's unity and facilitate the bias that coaches want to impose, so I never used it. What I tell coaches is something to the effect of this: "the official got a good look at the play, and reported what he saw (or did not call what he did not see)".

I'd shut it down after the second time or so. "Coach, if you have a question for him, you'll need to talk to him about it."

Could always go with the smart aleck response: hey, assistant coach, help me out with your head coach here. PLEASE explain to him what I expect.

+1 or I can't/don't speak for him you would have to ask him yourself.

If I wanted to be snarky (and there's a good chance in this case), "Coach, we're all adults here, so you'll need to talk to him yourself."

I'm the center tableside and the coach is in my ear kvetching about a no call on the other side of the floor. Two officials over there on a play where my correct call percentage wouldn't be much better than if I flipped a coin.

"I have two partners over there who have a much better look at that play than we do. I'm not here to guess."

You need to make a serious attitude adjustment. If you aren't enjoying officiating and wish to spend more time with your family, then block more dates or turn down more assignments. What you shouldn't do is behave in such a poor manner towards the coaches and/or the players. Your conduct was unprofessional and reflects poorly on all officials.
Keep it to the simple, "Coach, that's enough" and "Coach, no more." If it continues, simply whistle and T.

That,s a great line Rich to have in your inventory of comments. I will plan to use it myself.

I usually agree with this sentiment. Why do coaches get free passes for their behavior?

We're supposed to be the unemotional arbiters of the game. Just the way it is.

Stating a fact that a game is sloppy isn't emotional.

I had a coach sputterting the other night in that second between violation and whistle. I simply said I'll get the call, I want to be right first.

He looked at me and said thanks, never thought of it that way.

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You're missing the point. We are held to a higher standard of comportment because we are supposed to be the unemotional arbiters of the game. It's generally more acceptable for some coaches to act the way they do because they have an emotional investment in the outcome.

That doesn't make it right but it's true.

"If you keep yelling at me about what I am supposed to do, then you will not be able to stand very long" then walk away. Problem solved or just give the T if you have dealt with the coach earlier.

Usually they get the message. I do not pussy foot with coaches. You want to be big and bad, I can be worse. And I will win in the end.

Peace

Threatening to break their knee caps would work I suppose. :eek:

I kid, I know what you mean and I use a similar warning. It works.

I've been doing this 15 years. I get the point. I'm over the point. There are times where toeing the company line doesn't get anything resolved. Would I recommend sarcastic responses to newer officials? No. But after a while enough is enough and I'm ok with NOT going to "rulebook" responses. Part of the art is how do you handle responses when you stray off course. That's where experience kicks in. Hopefully.

And saying we don't have an emotional investment is balderdash. We are human. Sometimes we get angry, happy, sad, and we may try our best to keep these "out" but that's unrealistic. First you have to accept them in before you can deal with your reactions. None more true than an ahole coach that crosses the line and gets T'd up. Say what you want but there are times where I get pissed after the T because they were complete jerks. A very small percentage of people in life NEVER have emotion. They are usually sociopaths. I don't think I'm one of them.

I have never been an advocate for not basically threatening a coach or player. Bottom line is that you have to make it real for them. If they want to continue, remind them of what is going to happen. If they do not like it, I probably passed many schools to get to this game. I do not need their temper tantrums to do my job. Works for me and I do not have to give a T. Almost never had an additional problem and usually have coaches apologize and then go back to coaching.

When you tell them what can happen that is a "threat." I see nothing wrong with doing that when you are threatening them with what is going to be the result of their actions (like a T or playing time for a kid) then usually the get you. But you do all this other negotiating and then they try to make it about you. We need to focus on their behavior and what the behavior brings. I am a man, I am not going to be treated any thing but as I would treat them. If you want to act like a child, then you will be treated as such.

Peace

And I advocate that we do what works for us in our personality. If you are sarcastic and that comes natural to you, then you can use sarcasm. If you are a hardazz, then be a hardazz when you feel it is necessary. Most of the time we never have to get in the chest of a coach at all. Many are reasonable and will talk to you directly and calmly. But when they don't, sometimes we have to basically get to the basics of human interaction.

Peace

You asked the question, I'm just explaining why it is.

As a great philosopher once said, “They Don’t Think It Be Like It Is, But It Do”.

Oh I made a statement after a rhetorical question. I know the answer to "Why do coaches get free passes for their behavior?" It's because to many officials are either scared of T's because they are bad, or don't do a good job in dealing with conflict.

My standard and immediate and direct response to the bolded statement is "I don't need your help". HCs, assistants, bench personnel. I look directly at them when I say it.

My response to the blue statement is something to the effect of "do not insult my integrity".

I tell coaches "I'm way over here just like you, I don't know what happened over there"

I tell coaches "I'm way over here just like you, I don't know what happened over there" or "I don't know how you saw that from here".

Also because sports society tends to think juvenile behavior is ok if the game might be on the line.

The good coaches get it when you say that. The bad ones think you should run over there and "save the day."

Last night in a JV game the visiting team fell down by double digits in the third. The coach growled at me "every single whistle you've had has been for them (the home team). Every single whistle. Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot."

I just ignored it, but when his team came back and won by a point, I wanted to ask him where my congratulations were.

From now on, coaches don't get my respect till they earn it. I've dealt with too much crap this season.

The coach's comment is very disrespectful and I would not criticize any official for assessing a "T" under this circumstance. Hopefully the AD addresses the coaches behavior.

I agree. I try to not respond to comments from coaches. Getting into a dialog with coaches can result in an emotional response. If I must respond to a comment then more than likely a "T" is coming or is very close. We are not perfect and sometimes do get sucked into an exchange with a coach. Best practice, in my opinion, is to assess the "T" and move on, do not engage.

No, He said it softly. You didnt call the contact. Somebody needed to remind you of Your Responsibility.

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Were these the coach's words to you? I'm probably calling a T with those words.

If he's saying it to you, I'd bet he's saying it to your partners too. At some point if it bothers you or your P's, you'll need to address it, It needs to be clear and the next time it happens you need to TCB. It's what some coaches do. They think it works in their favor somehow?? It's happened and I'll nip it right away with something along the lines of "We're not playing that game tonight" which will inevitably bring the reply, "What, I was just asking..." which will get a dirty look and stop sign from me. Now I have had the rare occasion when I felt the coach was right. Those are tougher IMO.