Your One-Liners of the Year
 

I'll start.

Usually, I get a good line at a game I'm working, but I say this qualifies.

In late January, I had a season-ending ITB injury (off the court). When you go into a tournament on crutches, and people know you, you get a lot of outstretched arms and "what happened?" looks. I usually broke the ice with the line "I T'd up the wrong coach." This usually got a laugh, except once.

One of the stat guys is a local town police chief and occasional partner. I give him the standard line, and he staunchly looks me up and down.

"Well.... if I were your partner, that wouldn't have happened, would it?"

Sometimes, humor just goes right over the heads of some.

He got the joke. He just one-upped me.

I guess I didn't read your tone correctly. :)

Itb?

Illio Tibial band. Ligament on outside of knee that hurts bad when you mess it up

Or international tie breaker for you hardball folks out there. Though I doubt this definition applies here.

I was going to post something, but then I thought better. :D

I've never been able to remember which rule is which when we go to extras in my slow pitch softball games...first tournament this weekend!!

OK, back to basketball.

Visiting coach to my partner: "Since when is that a foul?"
Partner to coach: "Since James Naismith hung a peach basket on the wall."
Coach: "Who?"
Partner: "He's the maintenance guy here."
Coach: "Well how the hell am I supposed to know that?"

In a game where I am doing the 10-sec count from BC to FC and team fails to advance into FC---> turnover; a coach will at times audibly ask "hey was that 10 seconds ref?"
I calmly and immediately reply: "that was 11 seconds coach".
Coach momentarily looks stunned, then abates.

"CALL IT BOTH WAYS!"

"Sorry coach, we're not allowed to do that."

"What do you mean - you're not allowed to do that?"

"We're only allowed to call it one way - the right way - and that's what we're doing."

Finish up the tourney for a local youth league I work. Had semi finals games last night. Coach I have known in this league for a number of years that I have reffed it and he has coached... says to his players, who are on the FT line...."Girls, tonight, we are going to rebound the misses".

As we had a timeout shortly after this, I said "Coach, I heard your comment about rebounding....are we only rebounding TONIGHT or is this a thing for the rest of the tourney?" He says..."Oh, this has been a problem all year!"

His team advanced to the Finals so I think they got it?

:p

Excitable, yet probably harmless coach, is getting very into the young game, probably because his team hasn't won many this season. Still early, so he's clearly still hoping this one might have a happy ending.

I notice opponent lifts pivot foot before starting dribble, so ... "That'satravel!That'satravel!That'satravel!"

Tweet. I raise hand in normal time, signal travel with a smile and as we get ready to inbound, coach says a bit sheepishly, "Don't worry. These guys (on his bench) can tell you, I'll be helping you a lot."

Without looking at him but with a big smile, I say loud enough for him and his bench to hear, "Oh, I'm counting on it coach. I'm counting on it."

Actually didn't hear too much after that.

Was calling a B18U Fall League this past season and heard this yelled at my partner......19 seconds into the game!

The ball hadn't even been down to the other end of the court yet! :rolleyes:

Talk about high expectations.

Announcer: Number 23, Michael Jordan, at the line shooting a pair.
Me: Actually, he's shooting a basketball.

Coach: "RefCT, how did you not see that hold off the screen?"
Me: "I was on the baseline and had no view of the backside of that play coach."
Coach: "How could you not see that? It was so clear."
Me: "If you paid for the third official, he would have been standing right next to you and had the same view as you."

Silence the rest of the night.

I Need A Second ... ...
 

My nomination for the Post O' The Week.

"Like" button, please.

Final game in a six-game varsity showcase. First game started at 1pm. I get the 8:30pm nightcap. You do the math and figure out the likelihood of the 8:30 game starting on time. :eek:

In any case, I dutifully arrive at 7:30pm....and promptly learn that game #4 had gone 4OT. Long story short, we finally get started with the 8:30pm game at 10:15.

Pre-game at the table. Announcer goes through the usual sportsmanship dissertation. The players look annoyed, made worse by the long drawn out introductions that followed.

Home/host team coach shuffles over to me with a resigned look on his face (you could tell we were both thinking the same thing) and says, "Good guy. You know he's been doing this voluntarily for us for 15 years?"

I cut to the chase and responded, "He does realize it's 10:15 in the evening, right?"

We both had a good chuckle. It set a great tone with that coach for the evening, and he's not always the easiest to handle.