Pre-Game Captains Meeting

[Dad]

Originally Posted by scrounge

Had that twice already this season!

Two years ago, I was on an 'unofficial' JV crew (paired up with same partners for about 8-10 games) with a dude that drove me crazy when he was R. His captains meeting was pretty much like this:

"Ok, we have a black line all around, as well as a black line here (gesturing prominently) for the center line. We will point to the spot for throw-ins; remember, that spot is only 3 feet wide. Play with your hands, not your feet. We'll try to talk you out of fouls but you have to listen to us. We'll say 'lane' if you're getting close to a 3 seconds call. Hand checks and contact are a point of emphasis this year. White talks to white, talks to . Make sure you hand the ball to an official when it's dead or we'll tee you up (yes, he always said that). Now who is the speaking captain (of course)? Lift up your sweater, let me see your number....ok, you are chosen as captains for your teams, we expect you to set the example and enforce sportsmanship. We'll come to you first if we have any problems (never once did I see him or anyone else actually ask to speak with a captain). Does anyone have any questions (no one ever does)? Ok, let's have a good clean game and have fun. That's why we're here, right? (he would keep saying 'right' till the kids gave a half-hearted 'yeah'). Ok ladies/gentleman, good luck."

I'm pretty sure he once said 'the basketball hoop is ten feet above the floor' but I may be imagining that. I think we all were daydreaming halfway thru that filibuster.

I'll be the R tonight, bud. Don't worry about it.

[Mark T. DeNucci, Sr.]

Originally Posted by Dad

I'll be the R tonight, bud. Don't worry about it.

That was your first mistake, volunteering to be the R. The late Danny Doss always (with apologies to the late J. Dallas Shirley) said never (with apologies to the late J. Dallas Shirely) be the R.

MTD, Sr.

[Dad]

Originally Posted by Mark T. DeNucci, Sr.

That was your first mistake, volunteering to be the R. The late Danny Doss always (with apologies to the late J. Dallas Shirley) said never (with apologies to the late J. Dallas Shirely) be the R.

MTD, Sr.

This joke went over my head. Mind spelling it out for me?

[Rich]

Originally Posted by Mark T. DeNucci, Sr.

That was your first mistake, volunteering to be the R. The late Danny Doss always (with apologies to the late J. Dallas Shirley) said never (with apologies to the late J. Dallas Shirely) be the R.

MTD, Sr.

Since this thread has already gone to hell, let's take it in another direction, Mr. DeNucci, Sr.

I work a lot with one official -- lately we've had a different third just about every night. And it's like clockwork -- at some point he'll say U2, I'll say U1, and the third will mumble an expletive. Heh heh.