The Umpire Mask Hook: "I'll take 2!"
 

OK, this has got to be one of the stupidest things I've ever seen!

Someone here's gonna buy this. You just know it. :p

We have established this on this board 3 times already. This makes the 4th!

$10 for a hook on a rope plus $3 for shipping? Geez. Just say send me $10 for absolutely nothing and then I'll spend the other $3 to do this myself. And, when did a mask become so heavy that the umpire can't carry it in his hand?

The Official's locker Room has to be the greatest umpire invention ever developed!!! Has this been brought up on the message boards before? HA HA

What blew my mind about this stupid thing is that Referee magazine actually featured it as a new "tool of the trade". :rolleyes:

Every plate umpire has the same problem with their mask. There is just no getting around it. When you are walking from the dressing room to the field, the pre-game conference, or between innings you stick your mask under your arm just so you can have both hands free.

Your mask throughout the game will gather dirt and sometimes field chalk, and keeping it under your arm frequently will cause it to stain your shirt, and it is also very uncomfortable. The Umpire Hook will hold your mask to your side and is easy to hook and unhook.

Not only is it comfortable but it also looks professional, and keeps your hands free.

What a crock. This guy must write speeches for Obama.

He should have wrote;

Nothing says you're the biggest pu$$y on the field than when you wear this for all to see. Buy two for each side and we'll throw in a leather ball bag for free!

pretty much sums it up. "tool"

And don't just think it's for officials. That's right, The Windsurfer's Locker Room.

Just what do you mean by this?

He should have wrote??!!

You had better keep your mockery of writers to yourself. Good grief.

Also, the Obama joke: just so you know, jokes are supposed to be funny.

Any chance the mask holder comes from the same fine folks who brought us the Officials Locker Room?

http://www.theofficialslockerroom.co...e/Picture3.jpg

I have to admit, there are some times where that thing would come in handy. But I agree, a bit cheesy.

Isn't that you in the picture? It's your Web site, right? BTW, I want one!

No.............. I did not invent the Umpire Hook. When I do a plate job it is always in the back of my mind the thought of staining my underarms with chalk and dirt.... still, I manage to go on...

Well there are many areas that have parks where umpire dressing rooms are nothing but a pipe dream. Some people don't feel comfortable stripping down in the parking lot.

There are much worse inventions out there.

I was referring to the Official's Locker Room.

I'm sure the one armed ( Left - by the way...) umpire who uses the mask holder in our organization sure appreciates the kind comments posted above.....................

This is the demographic that they should be targeting with their advertising, and gear the sales pitch in that direction as well.

Huh?

You'll have to show me the comments that a one armed umpire would find offensive. I don't see any.

Every time I see that picture of the ULR I wonder what the guy is doing in there. :D

It would have looked better to have his hands visible, eh?

What I am doing in the The Official's Locker Room is my business!!! HA HA

Yes, that is me in the photo....

Well, I think it's a really cool invention, and I wish I would have thought of it myself. I plan on getting one for next season, because there are absolutely no dressing rooms or school bathrooms open for our use here. It's either the street or the parking lot, with all the lookie-loos and teenage girls running around while you're trying to get dressed. I only wish it came in a larger version, so I could put a chaise lounge and wetbar inside, then it would be perfect! :D

Steve,

Ooohhh...I LIKE IT!

Perhaps, "The Officals' Locker Room - Deluxe Edition".

You should be in product development. ;)

JM

I have had one since last season, and after showing it to a buddy who's a windsurfer (no joke), he bought one and uses it more frequently at the beach than I do on the umpiring circuit. It is a very useful unit.

The inventor has a lot more to gain than he has to lose. If stuff like the Umpire's Dressing Room and the Mask Hook don't sell, the innovators will get ridiculed by some, and complimented by others for trying something new. If they do sell, and possibly become a part of umpiring tradition for the next 100+ years, the inventors will make a fortune.

As far as changing facilities go, we will continue to be treated in sub-standard fashion, even at some colleges. So the Official's Locker Room has a place.

There will never, ever be a need for the Mask Hook.

Never.

Ever.

There must have been some need by someone. I'm sure some were asked if they would use it.

My $0.02...
 

There is no NEED for the hook. It is a LAZY item, for LAZY people. (Note the use of people and not umpire.) I have never had a problem with getting dirt and chalk on my mask. It is always in 1 of 3 places: 1.) My gear bag, 2.) My head, 3.) My hand. Don't see why it needs to be anywhere else.

Might be cheesy, and I don't have one, but it looks a whole lot better than some of my partners who feel it necessary to change behind the back of the car, showing the world (women and children) how sharp they look in their compression shorts, etc. I am VERY embarrassed when they do that....Why can't they change between their open passenger and driver doors? Some sense of decency please!!!

....Im all for bringing new equipment etc into our profession, but this is just a step above the mask hook. To me, this brings more attention to the official dropping trough in the parking lot of your local educational institution. Ive never had anyone notice me changing in the lot, as we can do it discretely without calling attention to ourselves. But putting this mini-ringling tent up, just shouts...."attention all kids, moms, student-athletes, official getting naked here".....

Perhaps there was little to notice! :p:):D

Here's 5 of them........................

1.
"OK, this has got to be one of the stupidest things I've ever seen!"

2.
"Someone here's gonna buy this. You just know it."

3.
"And, when did a mask become so heavy that the umpire can't carry it in his hand?"

4.
"Nothing says you're the biggest pu$$y on the field than when you wear this for all to see. Buy two for each side and we'll throw in a leather ball bag for free"

5.
"pretty much sums it up. "tool""

YGTBSM!!! Are you for real? I really doubt that any paraplegic would find anything offensive by these remarks. Not one comment was directed at people with only one arm. Do you think Jim Abbott made it in the majors being that sensitive to what people say? I think you are underestimating your colleague in this case. Ask him if he is offended. I'm sure he will tell you that he's not offended in the least.

You missed the point. You are correct, in reality he would not be offended at all. The poin is all the bashing of the product is unfounded. It has its uses. I personally would not use it, but he sure is glad it was invented.

You must have missed the point. Other than for people with one arm, the product is LAME!!! That's what we do...we bash LAME products!!!! It is our nature.

We aren't trying to offend anyone, just telling the truth, which is that The Umpire Hook is a ridiculous product as marketed. If it were marketed towards one-armed umpires, then we certainly would NEVER make fun of it. But the marketers are promoting it as a great invention for the everyday Joe umpire, which it clearly is not. Not any more than the Ump-Glove, for example; what a horrible money-making scam that thing is. This is right along those lines.

Hey, if it can help one-armed umps, then I'm all for it, but market it just for them, and not to the masses.

Calling any of those comments offensive to an amputee is possibly the most preposterous contention I have seen anyone make this year. Maybe longer.

In fact, that accusation is the most offensive thing uttered in this entire thread. Robbie, you should apologize to us.

Agreed.

These could be offensive to the inventor, but that wasn't your point or mine. I'm still waiting for a post that is offensive to a one armed umpire.

My dad's a wise, old guy. He's also as accepting and as tolerant and as emancipated as any man I ever knew.

But even he has a point where he can't stand when political correctness goes to the extreme. To those who are offended by things that reasonable people deem inoffensive, he says, "I suggest you never leave the house."

..didnt know you were watching....

just saying, this would seem to bring more attention than it would to hide it.

Umpire mask: Good invention, not sure if people will accept its use as an everyday item.

Umpire dressing room: Another good item, more likely to become popular. I had at least one occasion when this item could have come in handy.

Getting back to the mask clip, or what ever it's called, I worked with a guy this afternoon that would probably like it. On at least 4 different occasions I looked in his direction and saw that he had laid his mask on the ground for a variety if reasons. Once so he could walk to the dugout and get a fresh supply of balls. :rolleyes:

I worked with a guy this week who laid his mask on the ground during the plate meeting. That drives me absolutely nuts. Tuck it under your left arm and you can use your two hands, it's not that difficult.

This was not being discussed, but what the heck, sure, the mask was a good invention. I doubt anyone here disagrees.

Sure is.....I have two.

Me, too: two masks. I accepted the mask immediately as one of the most useful inventions in umpiring. In fact, I rarely call pitches without one.

Rarely? :D

Kevin's a closet tee-ball umpire on the side. :D:D:D

I meant the Umpire Mask Hook. Decent item once people accept it.

To me, it would be a safety hazard. I have twice called "play ball" without a mask on, after having set it down on the backstop and on a bench. Even took a pitch the second time. Now my mask is either on my face, in my hand, or under my arm from getting out to getting back in my car.

I'd be really embarrassed to be killed by a foul ball to the face with my mask on my hip.

I'll bet you had an unprecedented view of the strike zone though.:p

Okay. How do you like yours? Does it meet all your expectations?

I believe that absolutely every one of us knew that's what you meant, but you were cleverly hoisted on your omission of the word hook.

I will never, ever accept this as anything but a joke of an invention. It belongs on some reality show where inventors get rejected. I'd roll on the floor watching it get presented.

I had a partner wear one of these contraptions. I had to face the outfield between innings so I didn't blow cheese on my uniform when I burst out laughing.

Umpire Mask Hook
 

Which is worse:
1.: The umpire mask hook or
2.: Tucking the throat protector in the back of the belt and letting the mask hang down over your butt.

Haven't seen #1, have seen #2.

My young partner on Saturday did #2.

Needless to say, the Chief didn't look kindly on that.

:D:D

I now can not wait until I see a partner tuck his dangler into his pants between innings. Not that I care what a man does with his dangler, you understand.

I see no reason for either.

Never had or used one. I like the idea in the video, and if it snaps into place quickly, it's worthwhile.

ah...the throat guard in the pants...I now have something to watch for...never heard of that one before

In a couple of weeks I work with a guy, who, when he works the bases, calls time, jogs over to one of the bases, whips out a plate brush, and cleans off the bag. I'll bet he thinks the mask hook is a cool invention.

Look where those guys are parked
 

I am talking about the ump locker room photo. I never park that close to a field. Especially behind the backstop.
I have lost one windshield in my career (because I had to park in that location due to game management's direction) and that is enough.
At least insurance took care of it no deductable.

The item is not at all necessary and should not be accepted.

It's a photo shoot!
 

They are shooting an advertisement, not working a ball game. If you watch the video, they are the only two people at the ballpark. Rule of thumb: Never park within baseball traveling distance of the field.

A few weeks ago, as my partner and I were changing, campus security came up to us and gave us their number to call to get into the locker room. I was thinking, "alright, that's cool, thanks a lot man"...but it didn't stop there. After that, they warned us that they'll have to write up a report next time because they had a softball umpire get fully naked, a few girls said they got creeped out by softball umpires while they were changing, and "because it's a Christian university, you know."

There I was, thinking "man, that Ump Locker would have come in handy"...but then I snapped out of it.


Note: I only specified that they were softball umpires because security explicitly did so themselves.

Brian,

Not JC in E by any chance, was it?

I'll have to tell you what happened to me there last year some time. Thought I was going to end up doing a 3-man game solo.

JM

Bingo, that's it.

Naked softball umpires would creep me out too, come to think of it.

I wonder what their alternative was? They should write up the AD...or bill the school for the "Official's Locker Room." It can't be the first time they've seen an umpire changing in the parking lot.

I'm sorry, but even in situations where there is no official's locker room--a real one or the changing unit--one can somehow situate his vehicle, then don a robe or a long t-shirt until he gets into or out of his tights or jock (or both). For crying out loud, it's hard to believe that guys would ever have to fully expose themselves.

With even a modicum of courtesy, virtually all high schools and JCs could accommodate us with use of some facility in which to quickly change clothes. They choose not to.

Naked?

Yup.

Yeah, me too. Softball umpires creep me out. LOL

The alternative is to not get buck naked in the parking lot. Hey, here is an idea...put on your jock/compression shorts/tights, whatever rig you use, before you drive to the yard. That's what I've always done. I can't see why anyone without a serious wild hair up their a$$ would get upset seeing someone in their shorts or tights. But the Full Monty is not something anyone, much less Christian school girls, want to see especially.

I worked at a field last night in a pretty nice suburban area. When we received our contracts for the games from this high school in spring, they included a note that said we were not allowed to change on the local city streets surrounding the park, and that if we did, that neighbors would not hesitate to call police. The school said they had a building where we could change. Of course it hasn't been opened for either game I worked there this year. I changed in their parking lot, and didn't have any issues though.

I say, once the schools provide enclosed areas for my partner and myself to change, then I'll start using them. Until then I'll just try to be as discreet as possible and park in the corners and use my door as a shield.

I was suggesting that just being a softball umpire was sufficiently creepy.

"good" christian school girls anyway. do you drive home after the game w/ swamp nut$ too?

I agree that full nude is a poor choice...but if they don't like it, provide a reasonable alternative so we can change. Often times I work at a facility that refuses to allow the umpires a place to change mainly because they don't want to sweep up the dirt...this facility is a publicly funded facility too...if there's a game being played on the neighboring field, often times there can be as many as 1,000 people walking past my car as I'm trying to get changed. Sometimes I do as you suggest and wear my compressions to the field, but sometimes I don't have the time to change or simply don't feel like compressing my "area" longer than I need to since I'm still trying to increase and mulitply. That being said...I'm not necessarily disagreeing Steve...we don't need to be exhibitionists by any means...but often times there's no reasonable alternative...you've worked plenty, I'm sure you understand that...the weather is a bit more cooperative in your area of the country as well.

I'd consider myself at least somewhat normal. :)

Hey, I didn't say Baptist girls! (I go to a Baptist church, so don't send me nasty letters y'all)

Yes, and often blueballs as well.:p

T.M.I.;)

Hey, speak for yourself!!!:D

Judson is, indeed, a "Christian" university, as the security guy said (never mind that he was himself an old man and drove around in a red, beat up van--kinda creepy itself, IMHO), which I guess means we Christians are not supposed to be naked.

:confused:

Perhaps he should provide fig leaves for all!

Of course not. We're supposed to show up dressed, I suppose.

I was changing after a game a few weeks ago and I've taken to wearing briefs under my tights. I was changing quickly when some dad (who was a knob the entire game) started yelling at me how it was indecent to be in my underwear around the kids. I asked him if the kids ever went to a freaking swimming pool.

http://www.umpirestuff.com/images/testimonial1.jpg

http://marston-greencc.co.uk/images/milk.jpg
Dennis Whitehead

The second picture: looks more like a hockey player without all his gear on. How in the world does he expect to get those shin pads under his plate pants? Must be some awfully wide plate pants.

Those shins look homemade to me. Hockey shins are nowhere near that huge. There are some great hockey shins that work very well for umpiring, but these look ridiculous. I like the Reebok 10K or Warrior Hustler models myself.

I actually just searched slob and umpire and came up with this....it is possible that he is a cricket player and or umpire...I just thought the photo was funny.

It was very funny.