Where do you live, Dogpatch? I swear you talk about the umpires in your area like they're all a bunch of hicks from the sticks. Around here it's the other way around. Very few umpires do not look sharp and the majority do.

And what Mikebran is teasing you about is that the belt you have is called "patent" leather, not "patented" leather. Patent is the type of leather, not leather that was registered with the Patent Office.

This confuses me as well. I know a couple of umpires from Ontario who dress and work very professionally. They also work the Baseball Canada national tournament at the upper levels. I'm constantly surprised at our young man's descriptions of the local umpires. I wonder where in Ontario he works.

What does the country of Canada have to do with the United States Patent Office?

I didn't know Dog Patch was in the province of Ontario, Canada.

Perhaps you could send something from your "rookie" year?

Steve didn't mention a country in his post. Why do you assume he didn't mean the Canadian Patent office? http://www.servicecanada.gc.ca/en/goc/patents.shtml

Are you really this desparate to start something? It's a saying, for crying out loud. Remember Li'l Abner was syndicated in several countries, including Canada.

1. http://strategis.gc.ca/sc_mrksv/cipo.../welcom-e.html

2. We have a little hamlet in the Dago area called Dogpatch in the far-southeastern area of the county near the town of Boulevard. It's not too farfetched to believe there is the Canadian equivalent of this.

My use of the term Dogpatch is just a metaphor for any backwoods redneck hillbilly town. The town doesn't have to feature Mammy Yokum, or actually be named Dogpatch in order to qualify.

3. I could send you the names of my assignor and association president from that year, and they could send you affidavids swearing that I dressed neat as a pin from day one, always a pressed uni, shiny shoes and properly creased and sized 8 stitch base hat or combo plate hat. I never had to actually think about "really nice" shoe polish or replacing an adjustable hat.

That's three. Get back under your bridge now.:p

Just where the hell is Boulevard?

p.s. Dago is to San Diego what Frisco is to the City. The locals don't do that.

Kyle,

Dago has been a "local" slang term for San Diego or San Diegan for as far back as I can remember, which is about age 3. They might not use the term in the upper-crust regions of La Jolla and Fairbanks Ranch, but trust me, it is commonly used on the means streets of the urban jungle.

I have lived the majority of my life here (all but 11 years). I was born in L.A. but moved to San Diego at 4 weeks of age, so that's pretty damn local. I've heard many locals refer to San Diego as Dago my entire life. We normally don't have our panties in a wad about it like the bay area folks do.

The H.A.'s certainly do refer to it as Dago. As do the Diablos and various other MC.

There is a motorcycle-building company in O.B. named Dago Choppers, which is short for San Diego Choppers.

There is a worldwide police officer's motorcycle club, the "Lords of Loyalty." The president of the San Diego Chapter is a police officer who goes by "Dago Mark." As in, "San Diego Mark."

There is a local rap group called Dago Braves.

There is a local hip-hop group called DagoHipHop

http://www.dagohiphop.com/oscommerce/

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm...endid=51091163

There is a pretty famous Pop Warner football organization called The East Dago Raiders.

There is more, but you get the idea. It leads me to wonder...Kyle, are you a local, or are you just some tourist who decided to stay?:confused:

Yes, the bumper sticker does say, "Where the hell is Boulevard." In case you really don't know, it's way out on 94 East near Campo.

http://69.43.137.200/weblogs/tln-wp2...3/Nloyalty.jpg

As far as I know there is no Dogpatch in Ontario...however we do have alot of areas called "Cousinlove" :D

BTW If Canadaump really wants to do university ball in Canada I really do feel sorry for him. Uni ball up here sucks.

Born in Miramar nearly fifty years ago, and lived all over the county. My greatgrandmother was the postmaster at Miramar (Camp Kearney, Camp Elliott, etc). Grampa work on the Del, and my uncle sold scrap dummy bombs at the Western Metals Building. We go back a ways. Dago = Frisco for us oldtimers.

Never heard that, and I'm older than you. Been hearing Dago all my life. From the natives. Must be because I was raised in the east county where all the H.A.'s hung out.

I know a few people from San Francisco that say Frisco. It's the snooty natives who object to Frisco. For some folks it's just a figure of speech, not an insult.

Are these the only two countries with patent offices? I think it's a very safe assumption the United States Patent Office was the one being mentioned. As for Lil' Abner, they lived in Dogpatch, USA. I don't see how it being syndicated in several countries would make it hard for readers in the United States, or Canada, to know where it was located.

Oh. my God. You really are that desparate. You want to pick a fight over a mythical town in a comic strip from the 60's.

Back on the list, Paul.

Oh, and my apologies for quoting him to those of you who already have him on your list.

canadaump6,

I've got to admit I'm a little curious about what you have been wearing for pants, but it's nice to hear that you're "stepping up" to dressing properly.

One piece of advice - when you go to get the pants hemmed, have the plate pants hemmed "really long". When they measure for the length, wear your plate shoes and have them hemmed so that the pants are almost touching the ground as you stand "normally". If the place isn't used to doing umpire alterations they will want to do them "shorter". Also, when they suggest cuffs, just say no. (Trust me on this.)

You also might want to consider getting more than one fitted hat (Navy, Black, Base, Plate = 4).

As others have suggested, dressing properly is really more of a "necessary but insufficient" criteria for being assigned quality games (at least where I'm from) - but it's certainly a step in the right direction.

JM

P.S. Just out of idle curiosity, what "number" did you get & how did you choose it?

Just one more thing, as Columbo would say: Why would you ASSume that I was referring to the United States Patent Office, when he lives in Canada? By that logic, there would really be Dogpatch, Ontario. I know that most industrialized nations must have their own patent office. It's just common sense.

My whole point was that leather isn't "patented." There, that was the whole point.

And my use of Dogpatch brought a picture to your mind, didn't it? That was the whole point with that.

As Joe Pesci said in My Cousin Vinny, "I got no more use for this guy."

I will make sure to have my plate and base shoes on when they hem both pairs of pants. How low on the shoes should the plate pants be? Should I have them covering up most of the shoe?

As for the number, I got the number 6 as I had heard that nobody had that one in my association. I haven't got them sewn on to my shirts yet though. If 6 is taken, it can be flipped to a 9.

Regarding what I wore before, I had a couple of men's dress-style grey pants. I feel that they look pretty much like real pants, but maybe just a touch darker. Nonetheless it's important to wear the official uniform, and almost the official colour isn't good enough, no matter how many colours of pants our association wears.