Un-oh-fish-ull LL Regional/WS Umps' Man-you-ell
 

1. Make sure to buy a chest protector that reaches to your belt when standing. A little longer is just fine. The padded ribs of your protector should show through your shirt. Note: "modern" conveniences such as the "West Vest" are not approved.

2. Hold your indicator in whichever hand feels more comfortable. After every pitch, raise it up to eye level so you can assure yourself of the correct count. Do NOT trust fingers by keeping the indicator out of sight and clicking from that position.

3. Any time you exchange a baseball, inspect one, or perform a similar task, make sure to point (with a big motion) at the pitcher and yell "PLAY BAWL!" before the next pitch.

4. There is no need for a separate mechanic on swinging and called strikes. EXCEPTION: On strike three, be creative--make up your own specialized verbal, such as, "He's done"; "Outta here," etc.

4a. If you MUST differentiate between these two types of strikes, feel free to interchange them throughout the game. In fact, coming up with a third or fourth way of calling strikes is the mark of an experienced arbiter.

5. When a batter walks, make a large pointing motion, preferably with the right hand, to first base. Repeat.

6. On a called ball, make sure you add some words to decribe where the pitch was. Or say nothing. This especially helps when Pago Pago is playing Mitsubishistan.

7. The proper position for U1 is six inches inside the RF foul line, 20 feet behind the base. MAKE ALL YOUR CALLS FROM THERE!

8. If you are a base or outfield umpire and a ball is hit foul into the 17th row of the stands, wave both arms frantically and scream: "That is a foul ball," AND THEN POINT FRANTICALLY in the some direction. Addendum: If you are an outfield umpire and your partner at the base makes such a call, be sure to echo him/her, only use a louder voice and gesticulate more drastically.

9. When a runner reaches base safely, stands up, and a fielder walks by and performs a perfunctory tag, wave both arms as many times as you can, making sure to yell "SAFE" with every arm wave.

10. Flex Belt? What's a Flex Belt?

11. Pants should be of a grayish shade, and cover shoes completely. Caveat: Shining shoes will simply transfer shoe polish to your pants hem and you may have to wash said trou.

12. There is no need to hesitate before you make your ball or strike call. Let's move the game along. Make sure to give 75 mph flamethrowers that extra six inches on the outside corner, but not an inch above the belt.

13. ONCE AND FOR ALL, HERE'S THE PROPER 'OUT' MECHANIC: a) make your call as soon as possible after the tag/touch/catch. b) raise right elbow high into the air. c) use left arm to support right elbow. d) curl right fist back toward wrist in a classic "muscleman" pose. e) Intone "he's gone" or somesuch other appropriate verbiage.

14. Here's how to appeal a checked swing. a) wait a good ten seconds after F2 asks for the appeal. b) REMOVE MASK AND HAT--THIS IS MANDATORY. c) walk approximately 10 feet up the base line. d) point to base umpire with right hand and ask the magic question. N. B. if you are the apropos base umpire in such situations, you may make your call as soon as F2 points to you, obviating a) thru d) for your pard.

15. On a tag play, get as close to the action as possible. You don't want to miss a thing.

It took me just a few days of watching ESPN to learn these valuable points, and how very, very wrong I have been in donning the blue these past 29 years. Be smart and learn from the "pro's," too!

Smitty Holleran

Could't have said it better!

All you LL'rs taking notes? This is how you can fulfill your dream of getting to Williamsport!

Don't forget....Practice your "YMCA" before you get to your series. You are going to need to know how to do that. Or else.....

They clearly left almost all of the decent umpires in the Regionals.

It's the lifetime participation award at the WS. Most of the regions have some pride in who they stick on TV.

hahaha! thats funny. I notice a ton of those. Not sure if they do it on their own or Andy Konyar tells them to do it like that. :rolleyes:

Lets See:

1. dont do
2. dont do, only look at my indicatior when i need to.
3. do that kinda, but i know our UIC thinks you need to put the ball back in play. I usually just point, i dont say anything.
4 & 4a. I do have different mechanic, hammer for swingin, "pointing" for looking. And for strike 3 lookin, i "pull the string"
5. Dont do
6. when its a ball, i just say "ball" or if its over my head or something i say nothing.
7. No! move closer to first to see the play.
8. No need to yell foul on obvious foul balls..i may however in a nomal voice just say foul ball.
9. haha..only need to make the safe machanic once. your not an NFL offical calling "incomplete"
10. ?
11. ?
12. Yeah some of these umps zones are huge.
13. aghghreg when will these guys learn that your right arm isnt gunna fall off if not properly supported.
14. oh come on. you speed everything else up, why not appeals?
15. oh yes :)

The real killer is that it takes an average of 5+ years from region to WS (West region is more like ten years) so all the decent guys we saw this year at regionals will either have quit or gone Smitty by that time.

I like the way PONY does it. Evaluate the umpires at section, region and zone. Take the best each year to the next level. Good umpires that wish to do a PONY WS (All levels) can expect to get there in 2-3 years.

Ace, funny stuff!http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_12_6.gif

No, no, no... you must cross your arms as close to your body as possible, with arms extended, and then spread them wide, preferably slightly behind your body, and repeat. Red Cashion and Ed Hochuli do it the best.

16. Never, give the count as "Two Balls, One Strike." Always yell, "Twenty-One!!"
__________________

I can't believe I just heard the PU at the Japan/Mexico game nearly give all variables on the same batter..."Twenty-One", "Twenty-Two", "Thirty-Two."

I'm amazed I haven't heard "Thirty-Three" or "Forty-Two" yet. But with week still to go, who knows?

Don't you know anything.... those are audibles! I think he's calling for a halfback screen!

17. ALWAYS give the count, not just on odd-numbers or at someone's request ... and show it from the 3B bench allllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the way around to the 1B bench before you bring your fingers down.

I'm still LMFAO @ Ace's original rules.

Ace, permission to print and distribute at meetings in the Spring?

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_12_6.gif


Image stolen from Steve without permission

When he goes to umpire the World Series of Dominoes, he'll holler "Forty-Two!":)