Another Room-temp IQ coach
 

This is softball, but I deem it apropos for this august body.

Coach Ratso for the Scabs has been chirping on balls/strikes for a good 2-3 innings. I am BU; my partner doesn't do anything, so I pass it off. The comments are getting loud enough to where I can hear every word. I put this in the hard drive. Feh.

About an inning later, the Scabs are batting and their R2 flagrantly leaves the base early on the pitch (per the rule, I kill the pitch and bang her out). Ratso happens to be coaching at 3B.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!??" screams Ratso. I am in deep "C."

"THAT'S AN OUT!" I reply, matching his decibel level. Now, this is the only play in LL softball where umps kill the pitch; it just cain't be anythin' else.

Ratso: "WHY IS SHE OUT?"

Me: "RULE 7.13." And I trot back to slot "A."

After the game, an idiot site director asked me why I was so "hard" on Ratso. I said, "I'm not explaining a rule to anyone who isn't nice."

Leaving him ... and my nancy-boy partner, who let Ratso drill his zone for the whole game, I mount my steed and hightail it to the Sons of Sweden for a pint of Stella.

Exeunt.

Ace


Ace

Hehehe,
 

Ace:

Welcome back . . . you have been missed.

Regards,

Last night, men's summer league.
Top of the FIRST, from the dugout comes "both ways blue!"

Triple Crown Tourney, 13 and under. FIRST time this town had ever hosted a baseball tourney of any kind. Bottom of first catcher sets up about 7-8 inches off the plate, pitcher hits the glove, I ball it. Catcher sets up in same spot again and again pitcher hits the glove, I ball it again. From the dugout I hear the coach, whose team has never played in that town before, "Man we never get any calls in this town." Made me chuckle.

Naw, too easy............:D


Tim.

.....never stopped you before :D

Huh?......Hey, Jim Evans, shut your stupid pie hole!

..........you forgot that the massive elispes go in front. you also forgot the big smiley. :D

edit: nice hiding with the white text. doesnt work in quoted posts though.

Damn, I knew my poor grammar would eventually get me.:D :D :D :D :D

Casey's donkey speaks again.

I had one very similar - I'm BU, top of 1st, leadoff hitter, I have a nutcutter at 1B and I bang the out. From the 3B coaches box: "Aw, c'mon Blue, BE CONSISTENT!"

Some coaches only know a few phrases and no idea when to appropriately use them.

Some coaches only know a few phrases and no idea when to appropriately use them.

I got this in the middle of a game this week. Walked over to the dugout and said calmly: "I just heard someone over here say "both ways, blue." If this individual really believes that I'm cheating, I'd like to discuss it right now. Otherwise, kindly refrain from these accusations."

No response.

It was quiet after that.

Don't you just love it!!

The pitch is right down Broadway, Aunt Myrtle could hit it. Johnny just lets it go right by. Rat yells from 3rd base box, " Not your pitch, Johnny!!".

Man, if I had a dollar for every time I heard that!



Clearly Johnny's 'pitch' is the breaking ball in the dirt

Had a good one yesterday from a player. 18U travel teams, I call a strike on the outside corner, and the batter laughs! I ask whether he's laughing at me, and he says that was way outside. So I encourage him to swing the bat, because the next two pitches are sure to be strikes as well.

The first is a fastball in the middle of the zone (N-S and E-W), and the second is a curve ball that hits the same spot. He looked at both pitches. No doubt, I'm to blame for his striking out!

Batter leaves the plate, and the catcher says, "that kid's not too bright." Then it was my turn to laugh.

My favorite is the remark after a pitch is called a ball : " Throw it there again,
Johnny, he'll call it a strike next time". Now why would I call the same pitch
differently a second time ???? :rolleyes:

"Now why would I call the same pitch
differently a second time ????"

Because every manager/coach/commentator/fan, believes umpires do "make-up" calls.

Bob

Does every umpire on this forum think they are so far above reproach that are not allowed to be criticized or questioned? I have read many posts on this site and the one common thing I have found are the umpires who post on here feel the need to belittle, critique and basically insult anyone who dares to question their knowledge or ability. Is this what it has come to? Umpires who feel they are bigger then the game and most coaches are rats or idiots? I may agree there are some coaches who want to act like they know the rules but really know very little but not all coaches who question an interpretation are idiots. The PU umpire does not call balls and strikes from a pedastal so the umpires on here need to get off theirs and quit insulting anyone who dares to disagree with them.
One other way to look at this, these forums are supposed to be for intelligent discussion and reasoning, not for anyone outside of the "circle" to be roundly criticized and insulted, even if its only implied. Relax, take a breath and don't beleive your own press, you are not gods and you are not always right. Also, a good umpire is a reasonable umpire who does not insult and ridicule all dissenters but instead is maybe humble enough to look and be open to other viewpoints.

Aw, HELL no!

I think we told you before that you really don't have a future as an ump, so you really picked a bad nickname.

Everything that has been said in this thread has actually happened to every umpire that has ever worked baseball. Coaches and players really don't know very much as a general rule, and they constantly say and do ignorant things. It is stupid to say things like "not your pitch" on pitches right down the pipe, or to say "throw it there again and he'll call it a strike" on pitches that are never going to be a strike no matter how many times he throws it there.

We are just pointing out how dumb these things are. We also point out when umpires make bonehead calls, as all of us have done at one time or the other, and we freely admit that we make these mistakes.

Unless you have walked a mile in our plate shoes, your opinion is of absolutely no value whatsoever.

Did you have a specific example from this thread you'd like to call BS on and ask the author to defend, or did you just want to make a speech?

In the absence of a specific complaint, I can only answer one generalization you seemed to make that isn't accurate. In the umpire vernacular, "rat" is not synonymous with "stupid." Rats aren't stupid animals; they're just rats.

Prior to your post, I didn't see this thread as anyone being critical of
someone else disagreeing with them. It struck me as a thread to share
dumba$$ things people say, whether or not they make sense, or even
apply to the situation. After reading you post,however, I have not changed
my mind. Maybe you should relax and take a breath. Your opinion of the
users of this forum means nothing to those users, although you have every
right to espouse those opinions.
P.S.
Did you recently send a letter to the editor of this site, concerning the
"lack" of reprimands and/or fines levied upon officials? If not, perhaps you
should meet the gentleman who did. You seem to have a lot in common.

With the exception of a select few, you'll find the umpires on this board more than willing to rationally discuss interpretations and game management techniques. What we don't particularly care to do is debate ad naseum old topics with new members who want to disagree with well documented and proven rules interpretations and techniques. It's not uncommon for a newbie to ask a question and then turn around and argue the answer they've given to the point of causing utter frustration to the seasoned vets of the board. It's no wonder that things can become tense at times on this board when this happens.
I'd be curious to find out just how many threads you've opened up and read in the month that you've been here. There will always be a certain amount of crap to sift through on a message board. It's the nature of the beast for a few anonymous individuals to get their giggles by disrupting a message board. However, I think if you read enough of the threads that are in the archives here you'll see a multitude of good information being imparted. As far as the critiques that you read here, that goes with the territory of becoming a competent official in any sport. If someone is so thin skinned that they can't take constructive criticism on a message board then I wonder how they do when a post game critique with a partner doesn't go their way. If they don't want their feelings hurt this is probably not the best avocation for them.
Sorry, friend, but experience tells us that the vast majority of coaches and players are rats. They'll do as much as they can to gain an advantage. If that means pushing our buttons, they'll do it in a heartbeat. I get so tired of hearing rats yell things like "that's two you owe us", as if I actually took something away from them, or that even if I did I would be willing to give it back. It really serves no purpose other than to intimidate the faint of heart umpires and piss off the good ones. So, yes, in my book that makes most of them idiots. Of course that doesn't incompass you, Mr. Muller!;)
Well, actually we do. Both literally and figuratively, if the truth be told. We have the best vantage point from which to call pitches while we're on the diamond. And the bottom line is ours are the only opinions that count when we're working a game. I can't recall ever seeing another umpire change a ball or strike call because a rat complained he didn't like the call.
I'm not sure for whom this last comment of yours was meant, but the core members of this forum are very reasonable. There's no doubt we disagree at times, sometimes pretty aggressively. That's how open debate takes place. The beauty of this forum is that if you stick around long enough you'll see members fight like cats and dogs on one issue, and then firmly back each other on the next. I would hate to see this board turn into a tasteless utopia.



Tim.

Good point, Bob.

Oh, I think that one is my FAVORITE, because then I can reply with a line I proudly and gratefully stole from Ace Holleran:

"If you're gonna start counting, you won't make it to 4."

In my experience, 9 out of 10 rats look at you like a confused puppy when you reply thusly. Including the head cocked 45 degrees. The 10th smiles wryly, goes back to the bench and stays in the game.

Run along, FutureRat, your tee-ball team is waiting...

Yet another
 

I must admit, this coach wasn't rodentlike. Just a disbeliever.

B1 hits gapper with sacks juiced and 1 out. R3 scores easily; R2 rounds 3B and heads for plate. F6 obstructs R1 at 2B. I call the delayed dead ball. Defense opts to try to get R2 at home. They get him in a pickle and tag him out. R1 ends up at 3B, safely, as does B1 at 2B. Play phase is over; I say and do nothing.

Nicerat: What about the obstruction?
Me: There's no need for an award. The runner made it to third on his own.
N: No, you have to give my guy at third home plate, plus erase the out on the runner ahead of him and give him home on the obstruction.
M: No, the kid that got in the pickle wasn't obstructed. His out stands.
N: Well, I don't think so. My guy has to be forced home on the obstruction; and by the way, why didn't you call "time" when the obstruction occurred?

Other manager: Are we ever gonna play the rest of the inning?
M: He's right. Let's play ball.

A real first for me and another addition to the CS&FP rulebook: The Dreaded Unobstructed Runner Gets Huge Gift Syndrome.

Ace Holleran

And another ...............................
 

Partner in "C", runner at first. Line drive right at my partner's head, falls backwards at last minute. SS bobbles and drops ball, then kicks it. Everyone safe.

Catcher jumps up in my face screaming, "What the f**k is he doing there, what is he a moron, he cost us two outs, he's a f**king a$$hole"

The back-up catcher had a good rest of the game.:D



Doug

One little humorous one I run into from time to time - coaches unfamiliar with timing on ball/strike calls.

1. pow!

2. Coach from dugout/box: "Good eye, Johnny!"

3. Me: "Strike!!"

I like the bit about the obstruction "forcing" the preceding runner home, as if everyone on the bases got a free pass to the next base! On the field I sometimes have trouble stifling a snicker at these creative touches.

Another one of my all time favorites.

Pitch bounces in the dirt but the batter swings anyway and ropes a gapper double, scoring 2 runs. Defensive coach comes running out yelling, "that ball is dead, that ball is dead, you're killing me blue". I call him down, and i ask him what he is talking about, he says, " a ball in the dirt is a dead ball, everyone knows that, blue..." I reply, "ok, next time you have a runner on third and the ball hits the dirt, i won't let him score." He gets this blank look on his face and without saying a word, turns and walks away.

I probably should have tossed him, but he was always so much fun!!

I used the exact same logic last night; had a team win a game Sun afternoon when the winning run scored on a past ball in the bottom of the last inning.

Last night, had the same team, again a tie game late, and their pitcher bounced one in and hit the batter - putting the winning run on base. Out the coach comes to argue the dead ball issue. I politely said it wasn't a dead ball and when he pushed the argument back I simply asked him if he wanted to go replay the previous day's game and put his "winning run" back at 3rd.

End of argument!

OK, I apologize for picking nits, but I've seen this about five times in the last three days: the proper scoring term is 'passed ball' -- a 'past ball' is one from yesteryear, I guess, or some other metaphysically odd entity.

If you think I'm making this up, you might look here.

Or a 'passed ball' is one which has become recently deceased.

If you think I'm making this up, you might look here:<a href="http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZRYYYYYYYYUS" target="_blank"><img src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/10/10_1_9.gif" alt="Moony" border="0"></a>

:D

When I read this I laughed till I cried! I once had a catcher, who the coach told me, had Terret's syndrome! Well after a few innings I engaged a conversation with the catcher about his so called problem! The catcher said it wasn't true by saying, and I quote, "It's a f-ing lie"!

Uncle George ....................................
 

Now, that funny !!!:D :D :D





Doug

I have to tell this one:

Earlier this season I was doing a Saturday full of 3 Bronco games by myself. In the second game, this pesky F6 kept trying to keep R2 close to the base by slapping his glove at him repeatedly, jumping up and down stomping his feet, kicking dirt at him, and telling him "back, back." The way he was jumping around made him look like a horse's a$$.

One of the assistant coaches on the offensive team's bench hollered, "he looks like he's got Tourette's Syndrome." This caused many titters and guffaws, and even a few belly laughs out of the peanut gallery. I, myself could not help a little chuckle out of it.

Of course, the defensive coach didn't think it was all that funny. He approached me between innings and told me that he did not appreciate the other coach's remark, and that he didn't want his shortstop being characterized like that. I said, "you didn't think that was funny?" He said no, but I could see that he was trying not to laugh. He knew it was damn funny!

Naturally, I found out later between games from the guy who made the comment, that it was the coach's son, and that's why he made a big deal about it.