I'm sure we've all had our times when we've sat around with fellow umpires sharing war stories. You know the kind of stories I'm talking about. They're usually told while several of your umpiring buddies and you sit in the parking lot at the end of the day during a tournament, maybe over a few cold beers.

Then there are those Sunday association meetings when you're just not ready to head home to the Mrs. after the meeting, and opt to head with your pals to one of the local Pubs.


Some of the best I've heard were told in the evening, during a week long umpiring camp at the end of the day as we were settling in for the night.

There are those infamous "out-safes" that you called early in your career. The notorious "hard and fast" ejections. The "stupid plays" you've seen. The "dumb" calls you've made, etc....

As things are somewhat anemic on the board now, I thought this might be a good time to discuss some of our war stories with each other.

I'll relate one of those "out-safes" first.

This was during a 16U BR game. The call wasn't all that hard, but I had my head, well, you know where.....


The play was pretty straight forward. I had R3 advancing to the plate on a passed ball. F1 had come in to cover the throw. Instead of tossing the ball to F1, F2 decided he had a shot at tagging out the runner himself(the ball had taken a real good kick off the backstop and came back toward the plate.)F1 apparently thought F2 would flip him the ball, as he stood his ground at the plate. All three, the runner, the catcher, and the pitcher were at the plate at the same time. F2 applied the tag as R3 slid into the plate. F1 being in such close proximity to the plate fell when F2 dove toward the plate after being contacted by F2. He didn't obstruct R3, he just fell on top of him after he had reached the plate.

I was sure I saw the tag, but I wasn,t sure if F2 had secure possession of the ball through the tag. They were all laying in a huddled mass on the plate. I witheld the call and asked to see the ball. At that point, F1 came up with the ball and showed it to me. You guessed it. "Out" was the first thing out of my mouth when I saw the ball. It only took a few seconds before it dawned on me what I had just done. All three players rose to their feet, at which time I called "safe, ball was on the ground." The timing was good, my positioning was good, but there are those plays when you are destined to look a little out of your element.


Anyone else have a war story to tell?

Tim.

Okay...here goes my embarassing one. I was working the bases in a juco game, no runners on. I'm not 10 feet beyond F3 like I should be. All of a sudden a foul ball gets hit in my direction that F3 makes a break for except I'm in the way. Next thing you know, I'm flat on my back and he's laying flat on me. I wanted to tell him that he was going to have to buy me dinner before we went any further!

His coach still laughs about it whenever he sees me. What a visual he must have!

Why not...

I was BU in "A" with a very experienced, highly rated partner. I was a second year greenhorn who had just been promoted to varsity games that season.

A screaming liner down the first base line, coming right at me it hit about an inch foul about half way between me and the base. I froze completely. Deer in the headlights froze.

My partner gave me a second to make the call, but he could have given me all afternoon and I wouldn't have made it.

Then he threw up his hands and yelled foul, seeing that I wasn't going to call it.

A couple innings later he called me over to the line between innings. He asked me, "what the hell happened on that liner?," and I said "I dunno, I jelled out, I guess."

For quite some time after that, when he would see me, he'd say "jelled out?", and then laugh his a$$ off. Good times!

Gee,
 

After the so many years I have worked it would be hard to determine which story to use:

"The Inside the Park Home Run That Never Left the Infield and WITH NO ERRORS,"

"The Day My Partner Quit in the Middle of a Play,"

"The Day I Tossed Seven Guys Out on One Pitch (and I didn't even make the original call)."

"The Play Where, as PU, I Caught a Pitch."

So many stories and so little time.

Tee

Tee,

I'd love to hear "The day my partner
quit in the middle of a play". Sounds
quite interesting.

Tee:

I read your article on the seven ejections on the ABUA web site. It was a great read. I'm trying to envision an inside the park home run on the infield with no errors. You dangled the carrot out there in front of us. Now it's time to feed the team.


Tim.

Please provide a link... I surfed but did not find.

Re: Gee,
 

I see you're still rubbing it in that you've got me by two.




[Edited by GarthB on Dec 17th, 2005 at 01:29 PM]

I looked for it, DG, but I couldn't find it again. I'm sure I read the article on that site early last summer. Hopefully, Tee will help us out.


Tim.

Re: Gee,
 

Sounds like the next 4 installments of "Strikes & Outs"...

"Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind."


Tim.

Confusious say:

"Game of baseball all wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk."

Confusious say:

"Umpire who dance while wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom."

Confusious say:

"Umpire who call infield fly need fly phone number first."

Confusious say:

"Baseball player need stay cool sit close to fans."

Confusious say:

"Umpire call a strike doing job. Umpire go on strike lose job."

Confusious say:

"Baseball catcher who no wear helmet soon be hard headed as Tee."

Confusious say:

"Plate umpire who concentrate to much on MILF's soon find new kind of knockout."

Confusious say:

"Umpire who call dead ball need have ball funeral."

Confusious say:

"Umpire who wear wristwatch in game know exact time they look like rookie."

Confusious say:

"Rookie umpire who talk the talk will walk the walk when learn call balk."


Tim.
http://www.volnation.com/forum/style...ault/bump3.gif 56

[Edited by BigUmp56 on Dec 18th, 2005 at 09:05 PM]

Geesh,
 

Finally, something creative on an internet umpire site.

Tee

Tee:

I was thinking of complaining to Brad that I didn't approve of the direction of his site. Do you think that if I threatened to spam it with an ad to another site until he met my conditions I could get him to change it?

I doubt it, Garth. He'd probably just bar you from posting.

I did mention to Gary that if wanted me to stop, all he had to do was require registration and then ban me from the site. That in and of itself would have accomplished what I had set out to do anyway.

The end justified the means regardless of what you think, Garth.

You'll just need to find another site to post on that doesn't require registration if you want another one like the outhouse forum to post on. Maybe, since you know Gary, you could convince him to change the format back to the way it was.


Tim.

Tim(period):

The difference between how you would handle it and how I would handle it is simply this:

I don't assume that I am the arbiter of taste for others: If I was that unhappy about any site, I would leave it, as I did. And, knowing someone doesn't change that. In fact, it strengthens my resolve to not attempt to act as a censor.

For one to assume that what they approve of is what everyone should approve of smacks of narrow-minded vigilanteism as practiced in the past by axe wielding prohibitionist in frumpy dresses,

I have an ego, but it isn't large enough for me to try redsign the internet to my personal perference.

You can attempt to justify it all you want. It still comes down to you attempting to impose your will, your taste and your opinion on others and a private business.

As to your statement that the "end justifies the means": that in itself is very telling. It takes almost a brown-shirt mentality to live by that mantra.

Thank God this country was founded by those who didn't believe that.

And, as many who appear "holier than thou" your involvement in the petty bickering with PWL is not much different from what on at McGirff's. The language may be better, but the attitude, the personal attacks and the non-stop arguing is all McGriff. And, you brought it here.

You can, of course, have the last word. I won't be party to another back and forth post-a-thon.

[Edited by GarthB on Dec 18th, 2005 at 11:42 PM]

1. Who made you in charge of what is posted on the internet?

2. Gary has ads, so I assume he is making some sort of profit off the site. Who are you to blackmail him, causing the baseball portion of his forum to into disuse, inturn costing him income?

3. If you wanted to take on an internet site, why did you chose the baseball forum of McGriff's website? There are many websites which make our society look much worse than that forum.

4. Possibly the Google Youth Baseball Umpire Forum is more detrimental to umpiring that McGriff's forum ever was, for that group of Smitties you have assembled there makes us all look bad.

Perhaps, but before you shoot your mouth off and insult an entire group, I suggest you find out who it is you're insulting. If you want to insult me and call me a smitty, go right ahead, but some of the members of my board have obtained status within the umpiring community you could only hope to obtain.


Tim.

Strikes & Outs!
Handling "Situations"

by T. Alan Christensen

So here comes the Skipper and he says, "Cripes, you’re the worst (insert your favorite expletive here) umpire I’ve ever seen, all you have been doing is screwing us all day!"

So in my own arrogant way, I answer, "gee Skip, I hope this games on TV!"

And he answers perfectly for the ‘set-up’, "Why’s that?"

And as that comes from his lips I can’t wait to get to the payoff, "Cuz, Skip that’s the ONLY way you’re going to see the rest of this game, cuz You’re OUTTA HERE!"

So there I was, 19 years of age, with the first notch on the handle of my ejection resume.

I have been a baseball umpire for 27 seasons. I was also a major college basketball official for 12 years. I learned my most important lesson in officiating while working the roundball game.

I never called a technical foul that made the situation better.

An ejection is an interesting part of baseball. Since we don’t have 15 yard penalties as does football, or technical fouls as does basketball, we are asked to listen, discuss, and then make an ultimate judgment. To paraphrase The Clash, "should he stay or should he go?!"

Before I get too deep into this, remember one thing: I once ejected seven players on one pitch -- so yes, I do have some experience with this issue.

I just want to cover a process that an umpire SHOULD go through when the inevitable argument breaks out.

For this discussion let’s assume that the call was yours and (in your heart) you got it correct. While it was a real wacker, you were in position, saw the whole thing with the correct angle and distance, had good timing, and ‘sold’ the call well.

Here comes Skip:

(1) First thing that usually hits your mind while he’s coming is: "Did I screw-up?" You run through all the things that I said you did correct and now you know you’re right.

(2) When the Skipper gets there, follow the Doug Harvey Rule: don’t say anything for 20 seconds! Let the manager rant and rave, explain or discuss, point and complain.

(3) When he has gone through his entire speech, slow things down and ask, "OK Skip, now tell me exactly what you saw!".

Many times when coaches and managers come out to argue they didn’t really see the play . . . they may have been talking to someone, looking elsewhere, or just plain not paying attention.

(4) Always be thinking, "How can I keep this guy in the game!"

(5) After the coach has explained everything to you, slow down, again! Now you get one chance to explain exactly what you saw and why you called it . . . use that time wisely.

(6) When you have completely explained your call simply tell the coach/manager, "Now, that’s what I called and that’s the way its going to be, we need to get back to playing ball, Skip! Let’s play."

(7) Turn and walk away, no anger, no showboating, just walk away. MAKE HIM FOLLOW YOU TO CONTINUE THE ARGUMENT. If you are the base umpire in the infield, walk towards the outfield. There’s no reason for him to follow you. If he does follow he starts to ‘cross the line.’ If you are the plate umpire move towards the mound section of the infield and ask the pitcher for the ball. Again, if the coach follows, he is making a statement.

(8) IF the manager follows you, there is one more chance to diffuse the situation. MAKE SURE YOU DON’T PLACE YOURSELF IN A ‘NO WIN’ SITUATION. In other words, make sure you don’t say anything that closes the door to getting the argument over and ‘keep the coach in the game.’

One of the biggest problems we face is saying something stupid like, "One more word Skip and you’re gone!" This is an irretrievable position. The challenge is set and most of the time the manager will accept that challenge.

After controlling the urge to make a brash statement, simply turn to the coach/manager and say, "OK, I thought we were clear . . . all this is doing is delaying us from playing ball. Both teams want to play, all the fans want to see a game and it appears to me that you are the only one delaying that opportunity . . . Let’s Play!" And walk away . . . for the final time!

Don’t argue again! It is OVER. You have reached ‘The Point’. You have been fair, it is now the managers choice if he decides to eject himself.

I spoke with Tom Welter of the Oregon School Activities Association (the governing body of all high school sports in the State of Oregon) about ejections.

"We have a real problem with the concept of having a sport (baseball) where it is acceptable behavior for a coach to run onto the field of play and argue, in some cases violently, with the game official," said Welter.

Welter continued, " The OSAA has always prided itself in helping teach the good things that sport brings. Things such as competition, teamwork, and discipline are things that I learned from sports . . . I think we have lost that direction."

Since I offered a way that things ‘should go’ it is only fair to tell you about a situation that was handled violating all these common sense procedures.

I was working an American Legion State Semi-final game between two teams in Oregon. The first two games were average. Each team winning a game to set up the "big" final showdown.

Now I don’t want to give anyone the impression that the game went well, as the visiting team fell behind early and the pressure began to mount. Soon we were in the top of the eighth inning and the home team led 9-0.

Then it started. A single followed by a base on balls, another single through the middle, and another walk. After a hit batter, and a ringing double down the line, the march continued.

8-2, 8-3, 8-5 . . . and now everyone had their attention closely into the game.

Soon there were two out, the bases were loaded and the’ star’ player for the visitors at the plate. The count quickly went to 2-2, then "The Play!"

A slider, low and away in the dirt. Easy, "Ball Three!"

Of course not, I hear . . . "ask, that was a swing!" And of course I ask and of course my BU rings him up.

Strike three and three outs!

Now remember, this game hadn’t gone well anyway.

So I get an immediate "F. . . Sakes!" from the hitter and I get him so quick my head spins (1), as I turn to my left the manager of the club is on his way from the third base coaches box and he is mentioning something about my mother, so there he goes(2). Now, as I finally get a chance to take my mask off, the first base coach is crossing home plate bent on cleaning up the area with my behind. Bye, bye! (3). However, as I turn to get away from the first base coach, the on-deck hitter is firmly planted right in the middle of the right hand batters box screaming at the top of his lungs (4).

Now, at last, I have been able to take my mask off, and at least get to start walking up the third base line. Then, from what was going to be the hitter in-the-hole, the catcher that I have been friendly with all day, I hear "Crap, Tim you can’t" . . . yep, he’s gone (5).

Now since I have already moved my attention to the dugout, here are two reserves screaming at the top of their lungs something about a bodily function, that I don’t think is humanly possible, so I get them (6 & 7) with one wave of the arm.

Then things got quiet . . . actually it was a surreal moment in my career. The players went quiet, the crowd went quiet, one could hear a bird chirp (yeah, I’d have thrown him out too!) . . . and then you hear the smallest, faintest voice of a little girl playing in the sand behind the grandstands, "London Bridge is falling down, falling down, my fair lady."

Honey, it already crashed!

Strikes & Outs!

This is not embarrassing but I think pretty funny - but I guess you'll be the judge of that. Around 1985 New York City hosted the AABC Mickey Mantle regional. The final was held at Shea Stadium and I worked 2B. A team from Brooklyn beat a team from the Albany area. The upstate team was not particularly happy with the umpiring that day, especially with the PU. There were plenty of remarks from the stands that their team was getting homered.
So, after the game, I'm walking to my car in the lot and as I approach I see that I am parked right next to a whole bunch of the upstate team members and families. Of course. So I put my head down and try to walk past them hoping they wouldn't recognize me. One of the parents comes over to me and says, "We were robbed." I reply somewhat dismissively saying something like "Yeah, right." He replies, "No! We were robbed." It turns out they had failed to lock their van and had a bunch of luggage stolen. They didn't have a clue I was one of the umpires.

Our association still tells the tale of the nervous ump who was shaking in his gear trying to impress his crew and the umpires who were watching him do the plate in a high school final.

He had been searching all game for THE CALL. The one that we would all congratulate him for catching, and that he could brag about making.

Ask and ye shall receive...

Female player takes her place at bat and rips a low pitch off her instep which rockets toward the mound.

Exploding from behind the plate, the young umpire gathers all the excitement in his body, all the air in his lungs and flails wildly into the infield screaming
"FOUL, FOUL, FOUL, IT HIT HER IN THE BOX! IT HIT HER IN THE BOX!"

And a hush filled the stadium...


Bainer.

ROTFLMAO!!! Now that's funny!!!

I don't see any "venom" in my post. What I see is a good debate. Do you notice any name calling or childish rants in my posts? No, what you see is Garth, Luke, and myself engaged in a fervent discussion about a nasty situation. There are going to be disagreements between members of this board. What sets these differences apart from the dissention you create is most of us disagree as adults rather than throw child like temper tantrums.


Tim.

Who's feeding who?