what is a good rule of thumb in dealing with players that "act out" doing a game? For example, players that toss thier helmets once they are in the dugout. Coach should deal with it first? If he doesn't then you will? I have read FED rule 3-3-1, I know what the book says, I am just curious how some of you deal with it. Zero tolerance? Warn coach? etc.

Is there a reason why you have to see/hear/deal with it?
Throwing helmet in dugout: because he is pi$$ed at himself for poor performance, or is this a physical form of chirping about a call by an umpire?

My rule of thumb is that if it ain't having an effect on what is happening between the foul lines, I don't care what a player's "attitude" is, or how that attitude is manifested. Why go looking for sorrow?

Conversely, if it is having an effect on my game, I deal with it in whatever way seems appropriate to the nature of the offense. If what we have is general unsportsmanlike conduct/ harassing the umpire/ arguing judgment calls: well, how is that generally handled?

As far as tolerance levels, mine varies, depending on the level of the participants: I have near zero tolerance in youth ball [LL, Babe Ruth, etc.]. HS Varsity, more latitude [for coaches: in my area, the coaches @ this level usually deal with attitude issues by their own players].

thanks, sorry I should have been more specific. I was asking about players that act out because they are upset with themselves or their coach.

As long as the action is not directed at you or your partner, not dangerous (throwing a bat or helmet) and not that obvious and it's a one time event I would let it go. However, I had this happen in a HS Varsity game. Batter swings and misses for strike three (He's angry at himself) while holding the bat pounds the plate and yells so that both benches all the Moms and Dads in the bleachers can hear G*D D**N S**T. If only the catcher and I heard this I would have let it pass with a warning. Since everyone heard it I had to eject him.

Another thing that you can do is bring it to the coaches attention and let him handle it.

Poor Attitudes
 

My rule of thumb is that it depends on where it happens.
- On the field, I'll take care of it.
- Off the field (dugout), I'll say something to the coach.

But language is one thing I'll always deal with.
If it's loud enough for others to hear, they're gone.

I, like CB, have little leeway for the younger ages. I like player with a little attitude, but it must remain good.
As far as the coaches, there is NO!! room, they are supposed to be setting an example for the kids.