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Thu Jan 11, 2001, 11:46am
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Attn new and confused... follow me! (Flute Plays)
Dear New Umpires and Confused Readers.
Don't go to the dark side! It's not worth it for a secret decoder ring and membership card. Relax, take it easy, go simple. Study, practice, talk, observe, listen. Use what you want to use, discard what you don't like. Keep getting better. And balk that @#% kid! INTENT INTENT?? My paranormal and psychokinetic abilities are for crap. I never have a CLUE what is in somebody's head. How the @#% do I know what his INTENT is? Why should I CARE? My antlers are aching!! Remember G. Orwell. Pivot Foot Good! Free Foot Bad! Four legs Good! Two legs Baaaaaaad! Remember...why you are out there. It's 79 degrees. One of the 3 sunny days of the year (in Seattle). And ohmygod there are TWO gorgeous moms in the stands in white halter tops...eeeeeyyyyeyeeee... What balk? I wasn't watching..... 
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