OKREF wroteYes the trail should hold his whistle
Correct.
OKREF wroteI don't think there is anything wrong with the trail having a whistle
Wrong.
OKREF wrotebut just hold the signal to see what the lead has so we don't have conflicting signals
Certainly, this is standard for all double whistles.
OKREF wrotethere's no way I'm giving it up without knowing for certain my partner has picked it up
It's in his primary. Do you not trust him to referee his primary, especially a strong-side drive to the basket (going away from you) with secondary defenders right in front of him??
OKREF wroteHe may be officiating post play and not pick it up clean.
What post play? This is a drive to the bucket right in his lap, I'd wager he's not refereeing post play.
OKREF wroteI'm staying with the drive, especially when it's into the lane.
Which is totally fine, but you need to know what you as Trail have responsibility to referee and what your partner has to pick up. In this play Trail has the guy who gets beat off the dribble and BI/goaltending and that's it. As Trail you blew on a secondary defender block/charge situation. That is 100% Lead's call, and in two or three person there should be no way Trail ever has a whistle on that play. If Trail would have a whistle it would have to be for a hit on the drive prior to the block/charge.
I hear old dudes all the time pregame "if the drive starts in your primary you've got it all the way to the basket". This is old thinking and frankly just wrong by how we do things today.