[tomegun]

I don't understand why this has to be such a big comment to the head coach. Maybe that is the problem, some people want every comment to a coach to be earth shattering. Asking the coach to control his bench doesn't have to be about two men squaring off. That is why some people come on here and are so broken up about giving a T. Forget all the witty/smart comments and get some guts!
This is why I wouldn't have absolutes about assistants: you can use them. I learned this many years ago from college. Assistants keep track of certain things during a game and when you want a coach to break the huddle, the assistant is probably the only one looking at you. Depending on the assistant, I will use them to help with certain situations. For instance, last night I asked an assistant to make sure none of the players were wearing white shirts under their blue jerseys - there was no other communication with an assistant. However, when it comes to complaining, they have no voice. That is when I ask the coach to control his/her bench. After that, it is open season. I'm of the opinion that your Ts will go down once you become established - if you handle things correctly early on. I have moved around more than most and I'm not shy about calling a well-earned T. Once a coach realizes I don't care about calling whatever is appropriate, the behavior changes.