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I realize that, and can appreciate what you are saying.
We are not in a small town where everyone knows I umpire... the only people that know are my family, friends, teammates, fellow umpires, and a few coaches throughout the league. But I understand what you are saying.
I understand that I have created a double-standard for myself. If a player said to me what I said to the umpire, I would have ejected him also. No question. I do have some regret on what I said, but stubbornly think the call was wrong.
But the thing for me is..... I try to separate my playing from my umpiring. I am not a player/umpire when I have my baseball uniform on. I am a player and a player only. It would be unfair to my teammates to do otherwise. When I umpire, I am not a player. I call the game using the mechanics and rules that I have learned over the years.
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